Chapter 41

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I know I've got to stop with these notes because honestly, I'm only talking to myself, but I can't help it. How sad tbh. I feel the need to delete this shit book but I had fun writing it. So nvm. Helps me cool off. Feel free to point out any spelling or grammar mistakes. And for some reason I forgot to continue with the fact that Edward's a drug dealer. Ugh I'm so stupid. Sorry sorry sorry.

I feel like I should make the ending realistic. Even if this whole book isn't. Obviously. Who tf dances in the park at midnight?

Dunno why I always make things sad. Maybe just because of the mood I'm feeling. Who cares though? Sorry for adding notes like this ^^.

It's probably getting annoying.

- A

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The sadness will always be there, as much as Edward wants it gone. It's been apart of him since he was a child, and it won't go away as easy as people make it sound to be. Everyday seems like he's wasting the time he has, doing nothing with it. Weeks that passed by, he still couldn't build up the courage to face him. Knowing that his own father is right around the corner in the neighborhood, made Edward stomach churn.

Harry was his brother, whether or not did he want to admit that. They've got the same grass, green eyes, but Harry's were filled with an emotion that Edward couldn't read.

The same pink, plump, heart shaped lips, except Edward's were often chapped and dry. The same brown, curly locks, except Edward's was styled up into a quiff, while Harry just swept it to the side.

Yet so different from one another. They had the same last name, the same facial features, the same lanky limbs, but Harry's skin was free from the ink Edward had on his. Harry had many traits Edward didn't. He was everything Edward wasn't.

Edward dealt with drugs before, giving them to random men who pay in return for the stash. He had dept with people who he knew were dangerous, but he didn't care. Just as long as he got paid, it was worth it. He tried various times, looking for jobs, but every single one rejected him.

Edward knew it was because of his looks, and his grades weren't helping either. A few months ago, he finally accomplished his goal in paying the assholes back. And ever since then they've left him alone. He started to realize that maybe it didn't help much.

The only reason he did sell drugs was because he was desperate, and in need of the money. And he had no choice either, and if he turned the offer down, he would've been dead by now.

Though since his part in the problem was done, he stopped dealing. It was because Zayn was going to find out somehow, and he couldn't risk it.

Specially when Zayn was a big part of his life, the reason that kept him going, and the reason he was still sane. Yes, he's been eating less, but it was better than putting his life, and Zayn's on the lifeline.

Zayn didn't deserve to get hurt because of him, it wasn't fair to him. He was innocent, and Edward was dirty. And even if they've left him alone, as he thought, sometimes, he could feel eyes boring into his skin, burning.

Edward wasn't safe.

And every passing moment, he was getting more and more agitated, not knowing if they were going to strike, or would really leave him be.

If Zayn heard his thoughts, he would've said that he was utterly stupid for even involving himself with people who were trouble.

The power at his apartment was cut, since he was low with payment. Basically he was just bones, and pale skin. It was only a matter of time when Zayn would finally find out his old ways.

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