Lovely » Zedward [Discontinued]

Chapter 47

Edward clutched into Zayn's sweater, feeling the fabric between his fingers as he fisted the material tightly, afraid to let go, as if the Bradford native would disperse and be blown away into dust. "I - I'm sorry.." and for the first time in a long time, Edward manages to calm himself down, breathing regulating in a normal pace. He lets go of Zayn's now wrinkled top, and wipes away the drying tears on his cheeks. The brunette was frightened, since he had yet to hear a few words from his hazel eyed boyfriend.

If that..

Silence.

Overwhelming silence made him a bit aggravated and restless. Sometimes silence was good, but right now, it was one of those moments, where it taunted him. Chewed him harshly and spat him out like he was nothing. His long fingers suddenly found themselves entangled into the other, moving back and forth as he nervously played with them. He mentally cursed at his anxiety.

He doesn't want you anymore. He's probably sick and tired of your constant breakdowns and saw how much of a freak and how much of a fuck up you really are.

You don't deserve him.

'He still wants me. I know he does. I know I don't. And he probably is, but so am I. We're in this together.'

That's where you're wrong.

"Ed? Are you okay, love?" Zayn said with a troubled look on his face. He's been talking to Edward for the past minute, apologies leaving and rolling off of his tongue, but the green eyed lad remained quiet throughout his heartfelt words. "Baby?"

"Z - Zee.. I'm so sorry." Zayn just shushed him, letting his lips travel to his temple, kiss more firm and lingering longer than usual. "It's alright, baby boy. I should be the one who's sorry. I'm at fault here." Edward blushed at the pet name, light pink dusting his cheeks, and zayn smiles at him fondly.

"You should be able to take your time to tell me things. I know that there are boundaries and I stepped out of line. It just got to me, because I've started being paranoid on how you don't trust me enough to tell me about the things that bother you. I just don't want you to go through all of that on your own. Your problems are my problems. No matter how many times you tell me they aren't, no matter how much you say that I have better things to fret over, you will always come first. If I know you're not fine, I won't be fine. I'd feel jittery and antsy all the time, overthink and worry. I worry about you, meri Jaan. I can't help it, because knowing that you've been through so much, you deserve the whole universe to bow down to you. To give you the happiness you deserve because you've been through so much anguish, death, abuse, that I know. You're so strong, and you've kept on fighting. But you've been fighting for so long, jaan. Way too long. Though now that I'm here, we'll fight together, yeah?" Zayn spoke to him with something swimming in his eyes that Edward couldn't describe, and his voice was filled with so much care. So much emotion. So much behind it.

Just.

So.

Much.

He sounded so genuine it made Edward heart clench as he started crying again. This time though, he chuckled in between sobs, causing zayn to laugh along with him, whilst wiping away the rapid tears ratcheting down his pale face. Almost looking angelic and soft underneath Zayn'a fingertips. "I can't promise you that we'll always be happy, because life can't be called life if it's filled with too much positivity. As much as people want happiness to stay, they go away because it's natural. There will always be downsides to the world around us, and we can never take away all of it's wretched schemes and the demons that live in it, but we can protect each other as much as we can. We can conquer each and every one of them. Together. And I sure can promise you one thing." Edward licked his chapped lips, swallowing the lump in his throat. Zayn was holding him in his arms, caressing his sides and it made his heart flutter. Not to mention the statement zayn was trying to prove.