True to You

The Light You Left

2019

The front door closed with a soft click of the lock as Laine pushed it closed. She blew out a long breath as she watched Zacky and Brian disappear into Matt's games room. Adjusting the straps of Sloane's baby bag on her shoulder she turned and headed back toward the main part of the house.

It had been impossible to miss the tension radiating from Brian and Zacky when they'd arrived and although she would have loved to set their minds at ease it wasn't her news to share. If they hadn't been freaking out so much they wouldn't have missed the sound of laughing women from the back patio where Steph and Kelly were indulging in a celebratory glass of champagne each as Caitie sipped on mineral water.

She regretted the way her phone call had caused Brian and Zacky anxiety but Caitie had wanted Matt to share the news with them himself. Caitie hadn't been oblivious to Matt's meltdown but she hadn't quite realised that Matt was spiralling toward the freak out to end all freak outs. Laine's first idea had been to call Brooks for his input – the guy was an oasis of calm and fount of information. He'd suggested she call Brian and Zacky and told her he was on his way. She felt as though she was intruding in something that should have been private but Caitie had agreed that calling in reinforcements was a good idea and had immediately started calling her friends.

Laine was glad she'd called Brooks first, out of the five guys in the band he was the one she felt the most comfortable with after the news broke about her dad. She'd noticed that unlike the other guys he didn't seem to be trying to spot similarities to Jimmy in the way she looked, or spoke or moved. They didn't even realise that they were doing it but an awareness of the searching way they watched her hummed through her every time she interacted with them. Not to mention the fact that she just liked Brooks. His general level of chill and bone dry sense of humour just clicked with her. She'd been surprised to find that she'd started to think of him as a favourite uncle. He'd even become something of a musical mentor to her, after he'd persuaded her to play the drums for him in Seattle she'd found that it was surprisingly easy to discuss music with him. She didn't feel the self-consciousness with him that she did with the others.

That wasn't to say that Laine didn't like Matt. While almost everyone else had struggled to assimilate the idea that The Rev had been her father Matt had been the first one of his oldest friends to shake off his surprise and check in that she was okay. She liked all of the guys really, even before she'd found out who her father was they'd felt like, if not uncles then cool over-protective older brothers.

It was, however, impossible to deny that she felt awkward around Brian. It wasn't that she blamed him for what happened between her parents, she wasn't an idiot. Not only had that box contained the letter her mother had planned to send Jimmy – it still left her breathless and slightly bemused to realise that he was her dad – but also her mother's journal from those years. Laine had read enough to know that her mother had gone careering off the rails emotionally and had made some poor decisions. No, the reason for her awkwardness around Brian was the sheer force of the guilt he was projecting.

Laine had no idea how to deal with that level of guilt. On the one hand she wanted to reassure him, on the other he was...Synyster Gates. She'd spent enough time growing up admiring him and his music that, even having always known he was her mom's cousin and having lived in his pool house for the last couple of months, she was a little in awe of him. She found it hard to reconcile the musician she was in awe of with the guy who radiated angst over something he'd done that he believed had affected her life.

How were you supposed to tell your idols to suck it up and get over it? She hadn't even mentioned her dilemma to McKenna who'd have busted a gut laughing at her. McKenna loved her brother but refused to, as she put it, pander to his ego.