voodoo doll // c.hood

15; revelations

C A L U M

I sit stooped over on a bench in the locker room with heavy drops of sweat dripping down my bright red face as I breathe deeply and calmly. I splash my face with water to cool me down, and each drop feels like a tear drop from an angel which felt fucking amazing after a long and vigorous game of soccer.

Our team had just won to the team from Crosswell Secondary College - an all males school which is devoted to sport, so it was a challenging game to say the least.

"Hey buddy, nice game." Luke pats my back, handing me a clean towel to wipe away my sweat. He takes a seat next to me on the bench.

"Yeah, uh thanks." I guzzle down the rest of the water which was left in my bottle. I wipe away the sweat on my face and neck before throwing the towel over my face and letting out a loud groan.

"Mate, what's up?" Luke asks, concerned.

"It's just...this date. I am going insane thinking about how I am going to fuck up. What if I say the wrong thing or the date is just lame and awkward. I stayed up all last night, letting paranoid thoughts circle around my brain. I don't know how she kept me up all night. She didn't even do anything, she was just...her. I'm going crazy."

"Dude," Luke starts, "you have to stay calm or your paranoia will get the best of you. Once you're in the moment and your enjoying yourself, these worries won't even cross your mind."

"Okay, thank you. That makes sense." I jump up from the seat feeling pumped and excited.

"But maybe you should shower first. I hear that some girls don't really dig the whole smelly and sweaty look."

I click my fingers and point at him. "Right!" I take another towel, "later man, thanks for all your help." I pat his shoulder a couple of times before racing off to the showers.

After drying off, I pull out a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey muscle tee. After squeezing into my jeans and slipping on my tee, I put on my high tops and my khaki jacket. I sling my sports bag over my shoulder and before leaving I stop at the mirror and run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make it look presentable.

When I exit the change rooms, I come to see Amity sitting on the team bench which is beside the field, playing with her fingers and swinging her legs back and forth.

All she wore was a pair of skinny jeans and a plain black top with a shirt pocket, and she looked absolutely stunning.

She looked up and when her eyes met mine, a smile which I had grown to love appeared on her face and her eyes lit up.

I made my way over to her and she bounced up out of her seat.

"Hi Amity, you look very pretty this evening." I compliment, trying to act as confident as possible but all my words seemed to muddle together to make a mess.

"As do you, Hood."

I laugh, looking to the ground as I shake my head.

I pull the car keys out from my bag and shake them in my hands causing them to jingle.

"Are you ready to go?" I ask.

"Wait, are you driving?" She shot me a puzzled look, scrunching up her nose and raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I sure am. C'mon, I parked over by the back of the oval." I lead her in the direction of the parked car.

"I never knew you could drive." Amity says in shock.

"I am actually on my P's, so we best be home before midnight."

"If you can drive, then why do you have to walk everywhere? Like from school and when you came to my hideout, why couldn't you have just driven there?"

"I walk home from school and soccer practice a lot because I don't really have the money to by gas. Well not anymore, since the tattoo. And there is no point wasting all that gas and money when it isn't that far of a walk. And when I stormed out, I would've had to cross the path of my parents to get the keys and it just wasn't worth it." I explain.

When we make it to the car, I unlock it and open the door for Amity on the passengers side.

She puts on a fake accent to sound somewhat posh and utters, "Such a gentlemen."

After she hopped into the passengers seat, I pop open the boot and throw my sports bag in it. I jog over to the drivers side and slip into the seat.

I start up the engine and begin to drive east.

"So where are we going for our date?" Amity asks.

"I thought that we could drive over to this ice cream place by the beach," I explain, "and then we could for a walk along the beach."

She nods her head, with a slight smile.

"Is that lame or too boring?" I ask, worried, "or maybe even too cliche?"

"No no no! Not at all. Sounds fun and really delicious." She says.

It's not long before we make it to Peters Ice Cream Bar, one of my favourite places for ice cream.

"I haven't been to this place since I was like 4, I used to love this place." Amity states.

"I've always loved this place. Getting an ice cream from here then going for a long walk on the beach always calms me down after a game."

We enter the parlour where many ice cream flavours sit comfortable behind glass.

A lady appeared from behind the counter. "Hi, what can I get you today?" She asks.

"I'll take a double scoop of mint-choc chip in a cone." I order.

"No problem sir," the lady pushes so buttons on her cash register. "And for ma'am?"

"I'll take a single scoop of triple chocolate in a cup, please." She says ever so politely.

"So that comes to a total of $6.20."

I hand her a scrunched up $10.00 note. The cash register chimes and the draw for money opens. She hands me my change which I shove into the pocket of my jeans.

She places Amity's ice cream on top of the glass cabinet. Then proceeds to make up mine, placing it into a holder which is specialized to fit the shape of the cone.

We take our ice creams and bid our good nights to the lady who served us as we exit.

The beach was staged right across the road of the ice cream shop.

It was fairly quiet, just a few other people enjoying drinks by the sea. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore echoed across the beach front. The sun had set and the moonlight shined over the ocean whilst little twinkling stars light up the dark night sky.

Amity and I had finished our ice creams and were now holding hands, her fingers interlinked with mine as we strolled up the beach with the sand beneath our feet.

We walk in comfortable silence for a while, ending up on an unlit and unpopulated area of the beach. The cold sea breeze causes me to shiver so I rub my hands up and down my arms, trying to warm myself up.

I turn to Amity to see her amazed at the simplicity of the scenery. She looked like an angel sent from heaven, too pure, too lovely for this earth. I need to tell her how I feel, and now is the perfect time.

"Amity, I need to tell you something." I start, the nerves arising once again. "And I don't want you to interrupt me, until I'm finished because it's important that I get everything out before I pass out from the thought of it."

Amity looked at me, eyes opening wide whilst she bit her lip. Slowly, she nodded her head and gestured for me to continue on.

"I know that we've only really known each other for just over a week now, and I know that our friendship is seen as something unexpected. I know that if we were following the unspoken rules of our high school that we wouldn't ever associate with each other, and would probably hate each others guts. But I also know that I've never felt this way before in my life, and that I have feelings for you that grow rapidly every time I see your beautiful face. You are the unknown and the uncertainty in my life, and for the first time since I've started high school... You've made me feel like Calum again."

"If you don't feel the same way, I totally get it. I just couldn't help you not knowing the way I feel about you because the thought of anyone else kissing you, touching you, holding you... It's driving me insane."

My eyes finally left hers, not wanting to see the rejection I was sure I was going to have to face. She left out a soft sigh before grabbing my forearm and softly stroking it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small smile grow on her face. I turned back around to see Amity smiling back at me, and her eyes were illuminating the nights sky.

I went to say something, but before I could get the words out she placed one finger on my lips to silence me. 

"It's my turn to talk now, pretty boy." She smiled, continuing to stroke my arm. "Every fibre in my body is telling me to stay away from you, saying that all you are going to bring me is heartache and pain. But I've dealt with pain all my life, and that has all been bad pain. But I know that if you break my heart into a million pieces, I'll still feel alive. Because you are starting to be one of the only constants in my life, and I can't thank you enough for making me feel like Amity again."

Then her lips crashed into mine. It was a soft kiss at first, sincere and meaningful. My hand snaked around her waist, the other one placed behind her head. She leaned into me more, her lips tasting like the sweet ice-cream we had just eaten.

I brought my hand from the back of her head to cup her left cheek, as she pressed her lips against the tip of my nose sweetly. Her hands found their way to tangle in my hair as she tugged on the ends, causing me to moan as I entered her mouth again. My tongue dipped into her mouth, slightly brushing against hers briefly. We kissed for a few minutes, before we had to stop to catch our breath. 

We sunk down on the beach next to each other, Amity resting her head on my chest and intertwining our hands together. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, as she looked up at me with those big brown eyes. My heart felt as if it was melting because of her gaze, but was quickly stopped as she abruptly sat up.

"Calum... What are we? I mean, what is this between us?" She questioned, gesturing between the two of us.

"Oh...  Uh... I honestly don't know." I mumbled back, sitting up next to her.

"Oh." 

"I don't want to label what we have Amity, and I have a feeling you don't want to either. I'm just not sure of so many things at the moment and I'm confused enough already."

"Well if you're so confused then maybe we shouldn't be doing this." She snapped back, trying to stand up and walk away. I had fucked up, messed up my words and needed to explain myself so I pulled her back down alongside me.

"That's not what I meant Amity. I'm just confused because I've never felt this way about someone before and I don't want to fuck it up." I murmured, trailing soft circles on her shoulder blade.

"Oh." She repeated.

"All I know is that Amity, every time you're near me suddenly my heart begins to race. And every time I leave... I don't know why my heart begins to break. But maybe it has something to do with the fact that I fall for you every time the thought of you even registers in my brain."

"Oh." 

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