voodoo doll // c.hood

32; war of words

C A L U M 

The nerves rushed through my body, pounding against my insides in an effort to be heard. My hands were shaky, and my lip was trembling, and the amount of sweat my body had produced was definitely not healthy. I stared down at the grass, playing with a blade of it between my fingers as I ripped it from the ground. 

The sun was blaring down onto the ground, weird for weather in May in Sydney, where usually it would be freezing and pouring down with rain. In under 5 weeks, I would be leaving for UNSW and not returning until my scholarship was up. The early acceptance had gone through, with the scouts discussing it with the school and coming to an agreement.

That was it, it was all finalized. My parents... well they were overjoyed. Upset that I had accepted it so quickly without their consent, but the positivity outweighed the negativity in their eyes. Their golden boy, only son, was going to a prestigious sports college on a scholarship, fully paid for.

They didn't even have to spare a single dollar to get me there.

You'd think I would be jumping for joy at the thought of the opportunities I would get, and all the people I would meet and learn from. I was extremely lucky, and definitely wasn't going to take the opportunity for granted. But I still hated soccer. The game, wasn't too bad anymore. It was just the repercussions that came along with it that fueled my hatred.

My parents idolized me because of the sport and their expectations grew everyday. It became an excuse for them to tell me off and make me behave, talking about all of the responsibilities that I had and how lucky I was to be Captain. 

People looked up at me in a sickening way, just because I played soccer and was good at it. I didn't want to be seen as any different, and I hated it with every fibre of my being.

And then there was Amity, sweet and innocent Amity. She had seen so much bad in this world, and so much of it had damaged and harmed her soul. She managed to get through it all, and I had been lucky enough to be by her side for a few months. And now, I had fucked it all up.

Even if she did forgive me, I would be leaving her soon enough. I would never know how to tell her, that one of the only constants in her life, would be moving hours away for a sport they didn't even like.

God, I am a dick. 

I was cowardly, just sitting with a group of people as I played with grass as she sat about a hundred metres away from me, legs crossed and her nose in a book. Her front fringe was out and straightened, with the rest of her sitting neatly on her shoulders. Only Amity could look that beautiful at school, in a stupid school uniform.

She looked upset, and every few minutes or so she would sneak a glance at me to find my eyes glued on hers. She would then quickly divert her eyes back to her book and continue to read, obviously not wanting to talk to me.

She didn't even have Michael at school anymore, after he got kicked out. She had no one to sit with, and I could hear the rumours starting to spread already as everyone noticed the distance between the two of us. 

Reluctantly, I was sitting with Luke, Ashton, Mikayla and Colton who had lost his dick head friends. He was talking to Ashton, spewing out some bull shit about a girl he hooked up with then dropped straight away. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at his stupidity, and the way he treated girls.

"Calum, mate. Why aren't you sitting with Amity?" Colton asked, smirking at me. He knew it was a sensitive topic, but still pushed it.

"None of your business, mate." I huffed back, looking up to glare at him.