Go listen to this while you read this chapter so you get in the mood and understand it better. Thank me later.
{Stuck in my brain by Chase Atlantic}
🎵 Not long 'til I lose it
Not long 'til the drugs make me stupid
Not long 'til she figures out and moves
Sad song, sad story with a history of abuse, oh, yeah
She gets sentimental like her mum does
I get sentimental when I'm on drugs
We get sentimental 'bout the same stuff
It's not us, yeah, uh
Just find out what to do
Find out if you love me
While I find out how to move
'Cause I'm stuck in my brain again
I'm stuck in my brain again
Just tell me what to do
Tell me if you love me
If you don't then cut me loose
'Cause I'm stuck in my brain again
I'm stuck in my brain again
Oh, oh, so stuck in my brain again
Stuck in my brain again 🎵
"Can you please stop doing that?" I say between laughs.
"Doing what?" He asks laughing and rolling over the bed to face me.
"Farting, Jack." I reply. "It's gross."
"But like, can you feel the smell?"
"No 'cause I know I'm high as shit but if I was sober I'd know they stink." I laugh.
"Oh my God. Imagine if farts were colored." He says opening his eyes wider. They look swollen and probably mine are too.
"What do you mean?"
"Like when you farted, a colored gas would come out from your asshole." He bursts into laughter. "So everybody would know you fucking farted even if they didn't feel the smell." He continues laughing.
I burst into laughter. "You're fucking sick." I pause, "wait, what time is it?"
I quite remember I texted my mom I was staying over a friend which is true. I hope I didn't make any typo because she would notice... Or not? Am I overreacting?
"Becca." Jack says calmly.
"What?" I snap my head towards him.
"I told you the time." He says with concern in his voice.
"I didn't listen. Sorry." I laugh. The trip hasn't slowed down and I'm getting worried. Can you stay like this forever?
"It's four in the morning." He says.
"Oh." I say not knowing what to say and forgetting why I asked him the time. How useless.
"Stas is gonna be so pissed we're staying in her sister's room." He pauses, "Anyway, she's in Berkely."
"Are you going to college?" I ask looking into his swollen dark brown eyes. His hair is messy and his breath smells like liquor and marijuana.
"I don't do that." He huffs and turns around to lie on his side.
"Why not?" I ask but after a few seconds I realize he's snoring softly.
The night lamp is on but the light is so dim I don't bother to go turn it off.
•
I block my phone and rush over the door to open it.
"Hi." I smile as I open the door wider to let Nolan in.
"Hey." He embraces me with a hug that I deliberately accept.
I feel that too much has happened since we last saw each other. His friends have kept me way too entertained that I barely think about what happened between Nolan and I.
To be honest, I don't give a shit no more about what happened. I've been busy looking for a job and doing research for a possible college which I'm pretty sure I'm not going anyway.
"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask holding my nervousness because the tension between us two is too strong and I wish we were back to normal just like that. It's too bad things don't happen that way.
"No thank you." He says as he drags a chair to sit in. "I came here because I just want to talk things out and then I'll leave to do some errands for my mom."
"Oh." I'm taken aback. "Yeah cool." I sit beside him.
"I don't think this is going to work no more."
I feel my stomach drop and a ton of sadness falling over me. Is he breaking up with me after five months?
He snaps his head towards me, "We've never fought like this before and I feel this distancing or ghosting only contributed to keep me away from you." He looks down at his fingers. "You not talking to me and not answering my calls has hurt me in so many ways."
"I didn't mean it to be like that. I just needed some time to think." I place my hand on his shoulder but he brushes me off.
"Yeah, by hanging out and getting stoned with my friends?" He snaps. Holy shit. I really don't know what to say but he kind of didn't want to go anyway? Or that's what Stas told me the other day.
"It was impossible trying to not beat Jack's face after he told me you guys got in the pool in just your underwear and then spend the night in the same fucking bed!" He almost shouts.
"Baby, but we didn't sleep together —like, we didn't have sex." I start to caress his cheek and calm him down because I don't want to make things worse and I don't want us to be over.
"Whatever!" He shouts. Oh, thank God my mother is not here. I feel tears coming down my cheeks.
"I don't want us to be over." I sob.
He looks over at me and shakes his head. "I've think of this too much. We have to." He runs his fingers through my hair.
"But I love you!" I cry standing over to hug him and to my surprise he doesn't move.
"I love you too Becca." He sighs. "But we need to move on."
"Move on?" I ask confused. What the fuck? "How easy do you think this is gonna be?" I feel anger growing inside of me and I clean the tears on my face with my fingers.
"Like, I'm going to college while you're not even thinking on going—"
"I am thinking on going." I firmly say. "I'm just trying to figure out what to study."
"Now we share the same group of friends..." He throws his head back in annoyance.
"So what? Like, we don't have to break up. Please." I beg. I can't believe I'm begging him to stay with me but I just love him so much and losing him will make me feel so lonely and he's also my bestfriend. Stella and him are the only people I have right now. I still can't understand why he's trying to leave me.
"Becca, I cheated." My boyfriend looks at me dead in the eye.
I feel my head spinning and the lack of air coming into my lungs. I try to catch my breath and I see Nolan's face getting pale as he looks at me.
I silently go over the fridge and grab a water bottle.
"With who?" I sip.
"I don't know if you know her. I'm not sur—"
"Tell me!" I shout before I know it. I feel my body get heated and my cheeks turning red. I want to punch him right in the face but I should've known something like this would be coming.
Men are less than shit.
"Nicole. Jack's girlfriend." He murmurs as if he doesn't want me to hear it.
End of chapter five
I know y'all love drama as much as I do and it was about time I added some of it to the story 😈
More is coming so stay tuned 💫🌙
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Best I Ever Had // Jack Gilinsky
Fanfiction"Last night I knew what to say. But you weren't there to hear it." He says with his jaw clenched and with tears forming on his eyes. "What was it though?" I ask. . . . In which a girl, that's not innocent at all, finds herself surrounded by hurt and...
