BECCA'S POV
Jackson pulls over my street and rolls up the windows of his car. I shift in my spot and glance at the clock at the dashboard.
"I hope there's no awkwardness between us both." He caresses the side of my face and gives me a gently smile which I acknowledge.
"It's all good. Thanks for dropping me by." I say. I lean forward and catch him in a sweet passionate kiss. We pull apart and he's staring at me and he looks so hot right now I could definitely fuck him but I cannot permit myself to do that. I'm definitely not okay. I need some space.
I bite my bottom lip and awkwardly open the passenger door and without looking back because I know it'd trigger me, I close the door and walk my way to my porch.
I place my stuff on the table at the entrance and notice there's money on the kitchen counter. I check my phone for messages from my mom and notice I have unopened ones. Good, she went on vacation with her boyfriend.
I go up to my room and begin to roll up some weed Nate gave me during the trip. I realize that tonight I'm feeling so alone and it just gets so toxic when I can't stop thinking on my goddamn self. I check Jack's instagram and he hasn't posted any stories. I check Nicole's and neither did she. This anxiety is beginning to fuck me up. What does this mean? I remember when he kissed my neck at Sam's party when we were hotboxing in the car he said it's so hard for him to let go but why did he drag me into his life? I was so vulnerable at the time I couldn't think right about what I was doing. I took him as friend... And now he just seems to play hot and cold with me?
Am I overreacting? He's not my property, do I have the right to ask him? He'd laugh at me for being so ridiculous. Even worse, he'd think I really like him or that I'm somehow infatuated or in love with him. I groan in frustration.
•
I glance at the clock after finishing sending everything from college and it reads 3:56. I check my phone for messages and there's none... I feel a little pain growing around my eyes but I try to contain the tears from falling. It's not big deal to cry for ridiculousnesses. I thought smoking would help me get some sleep but it just made me drift into my never ending thoughts.
Should I ask Nolan about he and Nicole? Hell nah, he wouldn't trust me. If I just got proof he and Nicole are fucking then Jack would... Would what? Why do I even care? Why can't I just stop thinking about what I heard that night at the hotel? What is Jack doing to me? Jack wouldn't dump her ass and he would never want to have anything to do with me. He'd probably blame it on me for making him to find out. Why am I so enthralled with the idea of him dumping her? Is it because I don't like her and I want her to feel as miserable as she made me feel when I found out about she and Nolan or because I want Jack to see she's not for him? For what? Why can't I mind my own fucking business?
I glance at the clock. 4:37. Fuck. I feel tears forming on the corners of my eyes but this time I decide to let them flow. I check once more Jack's profile and lock my phone as I poorly attempt to get some sleep.
•
Blinding Lights by The Weeknd is sounding pretty loud in Nate's car and I'm glad to see Stella and Johnson enjoying themselves by dancing and sharing kisses.
I glance at Nate, who's driving next to me and he's not taking the eyes off the road. I bite my bottom lip and look through the window. Damn, he's actually pretty hot. I smile at the thought.
"Is a double-double okay for you?" He turns to me and gives me a nice smile.
"Yeah, thanks." I smile back nodding.
YOU ARE READING
Best I Ever Had // Jack Gilinsky
Fanfiction"Last night I knew what to say. But you weren't there to hear it." He says with his jaw clenched and with tears forming on his eyes. "What was it though?" I ask. . . . In which a girl, that's not innocent at all, finds herself surrounded by hurt and...
