To Get Her

Let Her Fly

Jiyong's POV

***

YGE Office

Coming straight from the airport, I rushed back to YGE hoping to clear out the issue with Dara but I found her office empty. While dialing her number, I got a call from Sajangnim's secretary asking me to see the chairman immediately.

On my way up, there's so many things running through my head. Was the chairman aware that Dara & Jaejoong were dating? Nobody can skip Yang Sajangnim's radar. Does that mean he approve of them? Ani! It can't be...

Expecting him to be waiting for me, I found him enjoying his cup of coffee while looking out at the night view of Seoul outside his office. Incessant phone ringing, he was oblivious to all the chaos around him.

Baffled, I looked at the chairman's back and wonder how he can be so calm today. Knowing him well, he should be screaming his head off by now directing his legal team to block off any scandal thrown to his artist. YHS is respected for his artist creativity but he is also known as a tyrant chairman especially for outsiders in YG.

But behind that tyrant image, Yang Sajangnim is a compassionate boss and a wise leader and he will always be a Hyung to me. When he's hard towards his trainees, we know it's because he care for them so much that he want them to succeed. The harder he is, the more he care about them. Just like how he pushed me to grow and contribute to YG by writing lyrics and making albums based on my ideas and preferences instead of following the hot trends.

" Ehemm..." I heard him cleared his throat...

Startled, I looked up surprised. I was lost in my personal thoughts that I forgot to even greet him when I entered his office. I hurriedly bowed to him with my greetings.

He chuckled," Sit down Jiyong before you damage something in my office"

He pointed me towards the sofa, facing him directly.

"Hyung... what the hell is going on... jebal" I found myself lost for words... combing my hair with my hands in desperation...

I heard him sighed ...

"Jiyong... we are family. Do you believe that?" I looked up wondering why he have brought that topic now.

"Since Bigbang and 2NE1 debuted, I have treated you all as one of my own children . Right now,  I can't help but reminisce the past.  It reminded me again how far YG have grown  and its all because of all your hard work."

"Hyung..." I tried to say something back to him but he cut me off. My eyes followed him as he sat comfortably on the sofa right across from me.

"Jiyong...listen, I called you here tonight not as your chairman but as someone who care for you and Dara so much... so I will say this only once. I want you to listen carefully and then you decide what you want to do afterwards."

Surprised. I looked up at him. His words reminded me that I am not who I am now if not because of him and because of that, I can't hate him for everything that is going on in my life right now.

"... everyone  loves you not only as the  leader of Big Bang but  because you're  G-Dragon. Over the years, your fan base have grown not only in Korea but across the globe. I barely say this but I'm proud of what you have become. People look up to you as an artist, buy whatever you endorse...follow whatever you recommend and love everything you like but... it's a different matter when you are caught in a dating scandal" confused, I tried to understand the words he was saying.

"Your feelings for Sandara, I've known it since your pre-debut. I let it go because I know it will help you to work harder. Your dedication have not only helped your group but 2NE1 as well. I've seen how you helped the girls all these years because you know how much Sandara love her group. You were with her all throughout but you became careless. You forgot that the higher you go up...the more eyes will be silently watching...waiting for the right time to pull you down."

"Only a blind person can't see how much you care for her Jiyong.. You gave your enemies a weapon to use...you gave them Sandara. Because Dara is your weakness. The more that you treat her well...the more hates she receives from your fans. Because in their eyes, no one will ever be good enough for you, especially not Dara."

"The first time she received an anonymous threat, she laughed it off as a petty prank and thought that it will just pass overtime. There were no proof of you and her dating anyway. But those pranks became frequent and personal... she started receiving gifts with bloody death notes ... she even have a hard time sleeping by herself  now when a sasaeng once tried to enter her apartment disguising as a delivery man. She was so traumatized that I have to send her to train for self-defence and hire a body guard to keep her safe wherever she go. Do you even know that? "He asked softly.

"Wha...What?! " surprised...I stared blankly at the chairman...

Dara was harassed by my fans? How? When? So many questions were running to my head...

"Sandara is very unique. Her uniqueness is what endears her to the public and I want to preserve that charm that is uniquely hers. Unfortunately, this charm is also what brought you two together. Being tied up to your name is every girls dream but for Sandara, her achievements were overshadowed when netizens started targeting her directly, calling her names, belittling her achievements and telling her that she lacks talent."

"That's not true!" I shouted back...I hate it when people say that about her.

"She may not show it, but those hateful comments became her weakness overtime. And when you got involved with Kiko, that was the last straw. She started doubting herself knowing she's not good enough... not special enough to be loved by someone." I grimaced upon hearing those words from the chairman...

"When you guys broke up and then her group disbanded afterwards...she was at her lowest. I know I  was partially to be blamed. The day that she decided to come out of her protective shell, I can't forget that... I was so proud of her. She tried building up her career again outside of your shadow and outside 2NE1. Slowly, she have shown her detractors that she can build a name of her own. It took her a long time to be where she is right now, Jiyong"

"And in her current state, if you go public with your feelings for her, Sandara will be swallowed whole... again. While you continue to rise on top, Dara will be tested again and again until she will be scared to test her wings. The wings that she have built up in the midst of her pain.

Because of that fear...she will never have the courage to fly on her own again... against the heavy winds that are blown her way. Is that what you want for her?" I heard the chairman asked.

I didn't realize I was already crying until I felt hot tears trickling slowly down my face.

He looked me straight in the eye, sighed and said, "I was never against your relationship Jiyong.  I will always support both you and Dara. But, no matter how much you love her, you can't avoid hurting her again. When I see that you are already capable of protecting her, against everyone then I will give you my full blessing. Right now, I don't think it's the right time."

The events on the time that I broke Dara's heart started playing on endless repeat inside my head. Her face red and eyes puffy from crying made me feel suffocated. I groped my heart in pain like someone is squeezing the life out of it.

"Jiyong, if you really care for her... let Sandara fly on her own first."

The thought of seeing her with someone else other than me is too painful but to see her hurting again because of me is something that I can't bear. For the first time in my life, I finally understand how painful it is to hold on to someone you can't have...more than life.

"Dara, mian he...is this how you felt when you decided to let me go?'