Who Knows When (Joger/Dealor)

Chapter 26

"So now you know you could be dead before they let you," Freddie sang into the microphone, the crowd going wild as his moan got drowned out by the rest of us. I dragged my drumsticks across the drum heads over and over again, my movements gradually slowing down with each pass; John slapped the strings of his bass, keeping in time with me; and Brian ran his fingers up and down the neck of his guitar, his other hand strumming the strings in a mesmerizing up and down pattern. My teeth were clenched, my breaths were shallow, and sweat dripped from my hair and streamed down my face, my arms and hands moving so rapidly they felt like they were on fire.

We closed the song with the crash of the cymbals, the drone of John's final bass note, and the ringing of Brian's final iteration of his mini solo. Freddie looked back at us with a wide grin, pleased with our performance. In fact, we all were; everyone was. It was all anyone could talk about after the show, the college still flooded with people as they conversed with one another without a care about how late it was getting.

The four of us started off together in a small group, chatting with those who came to see us and tell us how great we were, but eventually we began to drift apart. First it was John, the man disappearing without so much as a warning, and then it was Freddie, a different group whisking him away for god knows what reason. Brian and I always stuck together, though. It was just easier that way, and it was nice sometimes to have someone by your side that you knew.

"Someone's awfully quiet tonight," the taller of the two of us commented in an almost concerned way, breaking my gaze from the clock across the room. In the darkness, I couldn't really see where the hands were positioned, but I tried. I really did.

"I'm just tired," I simply offered as an explanation, though as soon as the words slipped past my lips, I knew they were unconvincing. Hell, even I couldn't believe the lie.

"Is it about him?" Brian inquired, a genuine sincerity to his question.

I remained silent, though not because I didn't know how to answer the question or was confused by what he meant. No elaboration was needed to explain who "him" referred to. I knew exactly who he was talking about, and if Freddie hadn't sauntered off with the group of strangers, he would've known too. Would he have said something? Probably. But Brian? No, he would never. That's not the kind of person he was. I struggled to answer it because I was afraid to; I had been from the moment it first crossed my mind at the beach, when John and I were sitting together in the sand.

Just as Brian cleared his throat, preparing to add on to his previous statement, Dominique broke out from the crowd, gasping as her searching gaze fell upon me. I didn't have time to react before she rushed up to me and pulled me into an unsolicited embrace. She mustn't have cared that I was sticky with sweat and smelled of something awful, because she just went for it. After all, almost everyone here was in the same situation.

She practically screamed in my ear, her exclamation—if that's what the noise she made could even be classified as—incomprehensible as she squeezed me tight, pulling back just far enough so that she could crash her lips into mine for a sloppy, passionate, and thankfully short-lived kiss. "You were great up there, Roggie," she purred, her lips that were millimeters from mine curling up into a provocative grin and her grip on my vest tightening with a desire I knew all too well, "And you looked so damn good."

I chuckled nervously, my gaze wandering over to Brian who'd tilted his head down, sipping the drink someone had brought him and turning ever so slightly away from me as if to give the two of us privacy. I remembered when I used to tease him about things like this, boasting about the girls I would be taking home that night, but now I wanted nothing of it. The only person I wanted to take home was John, but he'd wandered off to god knows where and I didn't know the school well enough to go looking for him.

Dominique drew my attention back to her by grabbing my chin and bringing my face forward, her lust-filled eyes staring at my lips that her fingers made purse out like a fish. "I know a place where no one would see us," she whispered seductively, eliminating the distance between us and directing my attention to the bulge that had begun to form in my pants. Oh no, I thought with widening eyes, my body not getting the message that my brain was trying to send it. God, no. Not now. Not now!

"Come on," Dominique insisted, pulling me with her as she slipped back into the hot crowd of strangers. She moved her grip from my vest to my hands in a swift, almost unnoticeable motion, relinquishing hold of one so that she could squeeze her way through the cliques of people more easily while also ensuring she wouldn't lose me.

I didn't know why I kept going with her. It was like she had put me in a trance. All my thoughts had scrambled together, forming a blurred mess of indecipherable cognitive messages as I looked back at Brian. His eyes were locked on mine, wanting to help me, but his feet stayed planted to the floor. I helplessly watched as he got smaller, my mind screaming at me to call out to him but my lips remaining sealed as he eventually became swallowed by the crowd, leaving me with no other choice but to follow in Dominique's path.

I glanced at each of the faces I passed, hoping John's or Freddie's would stick out to me. I was so desperate that I began to look for anyone I recognized—even in the slightest bit—just to save me from falling victim to another forgetful night's fling. I couldn't forget tonight; it was too important. I needed to get home, to the roof, but I was all alone.

Because everyone had left me.