Catch Me

Chapter 1

"You don't get it, do you?! I love you! And when you love someone you do things like I just did! Why can't you understand that this is just how I express myself like that and that I would do everything for you? And I don't care what people think about it, except you. Because you're the only one I love. But you just don't seem to care at all - as always. Do you  want to be in a relationship with me? Do you even love me? Because sometimes it's hard to belive that you actually do!"

I heard him walking out of my room but couldn't see him doing so. My eyes were glued to the floor I was sitting on. Even when I hear him walking down the stairs, I keep them there, not daring to look up. I stayed in that position until I heared the front door being closed. I exhale and was finally able to relax. And to think about what had just happend.

 At least that's what I thought, because as soon as I get up from the floor, I see my twin sister standing in the door, looking at me in disbelive. I sighed, already knowing what was about to happen.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Aaaaaaaand here we go.
"Do you even know how lucky you are to be with Ryan? Because ir doesn't look like it. He is the hottest guy at school and that while being super nice and intelligent. Every girl would die, just to date him. Or even to be looked at by him. But he only has eyes for you and you don't even care about how much he loves you. Instead you keep on hurting him. How many times has this guy told you that he loves you- that he loves only you? And what do you do? Nothing! Because you keep him for granted and are to stupid to realize that you already met the perfect guy to be in a relationship with. I just don't get you Olivia. How can you waste such a good man, who would do anything to please you? It's really not fair to treat him like that!"

And with that, my sister turns around and storms back into her room, which is right next to mine. Isabella really is a pain in the ass, but as much as I hate her right now, I have to admit she is right about one thing:

I know that it is really not fair to treat Ryan the way I do. But I don't take him for granted and I really don't do it because I don't care about his feelings.
I genuinly care about him. And I love him. But I'm not in love with him. And I don't think I will ever fall in love with someone because since if I am not even able to fall for the "hottest guy", as my sister always calls him, how could I fall for someone else? In general, I think the whole "falling in love" thing is massively overrated. I never got why all the girls I know, my twin sister included, are acting so crazy about boys. I've never been like this, despite the fact I'm dating Ryan.
As vicious as it sounds, we only got to date by accident. I know it sounds crazy, but one day Ryan asked me to go to the movies with him and because I was too naive to realize that he was asking me out on a date, I said yes. We had been great friends since middle school and when he put his arm around me while watching the movie, I didn't think much of it. It was only when he kissed me goodnight in the doorway of my house that I got the message. I was still in shock when I got inside and nearly got a heart attack when Isabella and Mom started screaming with excitement and forced me to tell them everything about the "date". And because they got so excited about this "hot and handsome young man", that just took me home, I felt the need to act as I was happy too.
And in some weird kind of way I was. Ryan was sweet and caring and did everything he could to show me his love for me. He never pressured me to do anything I didn't want to do and was always very gentle. I liked how I made him happy, but soon I realized that neither his body nor Ryan himself seemed to have the same effect on me as I did on him. And since we have begun to fight about literally nothing, I know he suspects something too. Guilt. Guilt it is, that always follows me around when I am around Ryan. So I try to avoid him as much as I can without it being too obvious. 

Thinking about the comment my sister made earlier, I'm slowly walking down the stairs to the kitchen, where Isabella and our parents are already preparing dinner. I lean against the door frame and study them. Mom and Dad are dancing around the kitchen, while singing along to an old Elvis Presley song on the radio, while Isabella sets the plates on the table and laughs at our parents acting like teenagers. They make the perfect family and suddenly I'm feeling blessed to have them. The song ends and I put on a smile while entering the kitchen clapping my hands.

"Dad, I always thought you hated Elvis?" I ask him, while sliding onto my chair next to his, tilting my head to the side a little.
"Well, there is still a lot to learn about me young lady", he smirks und sits down after pouring Mom's wine.
"Apart from that, your Mom loves his music and when you really love someone, you are willing to make sacrifices for them - even ones as huge like listening to this music", Dad laughs and puts "music" in quotation marks.
"Henry, you really are the only person on this earth, who dislikes Elvis Presley. Anyway, I really appreciate your enormous sacrifice for me but I would also like you to start eating now, because your oldest daughter looks like she is going to jump on the table, if she has to wait any longer for you.

I laugh again. Isabella really tends to get hangry and even when she is properly fed, she is unbearable sometimes. For a while, we are eating in silence until my sister speaks up.
"Mom, Dad, can Liv and I go to Adam's party tomorrow night?" I look at her in surprise. I didn't plan on going, but Isabella seems to have other plans.
"A party? I don't know Bella."
"Please Mom", Isabella begs now. "We have to go. Everyone is going and we are nearly 18 years old. And besides... Liv has to make things right between her and Ryan again." I sighed. Did she really need to tell our parents about that? But it is a smart move of her. Mom and Dad both love my boyfriend and by the concern on their faces I can already see, that they are going to allow us to go to the party.
"Really Olivia? What's wrong, what happened?"
"Nothing Dad, we just had a little fight, nothing serious."
"Are you sure? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Dad, he is always so concerned about me. I guess it's because I am his "little girl" . Dad and I have always had more of a connection than he and Isabella have had. She is closer to Mom.
"No, I'm fine. But I don't think I should go to the party tomorrow. We both need some time alone and I don't want to rush him or ruin the Party for him. Adam is one of his closer friends and he was really looking forward to having a good time tomorrow", I try my best to allure my parents from allowing me to go.
"I think you should go Olivia. If you two had a fight, it's better to smooth things over as soon as possible. He is a good guy, who loves you and he will be glad to see you trying to make things right between the two of you."
"Yeah Liv, listen to Mom. She is right. And when you two are good again, you are going to have a great time at the club", my sister agrees in with Mom. I look over to my Dad for help.
"If she really doesn't wanna go, she can stay at home of course. But maybe it's the right thing to do?" He looks at me questioningly. And I know that he is right. Which doesn't mean that I like it.
"Okay, okay, okay. You won, I'm going. But only because of Ryan and to take care of Bella. If I wasn't with her, she would propably be getting wasted and forget how to get back home." I'm only half mocking her, still pissed that she told Mom and Dad about Ryan and me. 

Isabella grins. Unlike me, my twin sister, who, for the record, is only older by two and a half minutes, is really sneaky and determined and always gets what she wants. I sighed again. Tomorrow is going to be fun. Not.