Catch Me

Chapter 15

I'm in my car waiting for Chiara and prepare myself for the upcoming conversation. Sitting in different classes after lunch, I overheard some conversations about my outburst in the cafeteria and about Ryan and his new girlfriend, so I know that Chiara also heard about it and is going to ask me questions about it. I plan out in my head, how I am going to tell her about Fiona but when she is finally sitting next to me, all of it dissapears and I am left with nothing but anxiety.

"Chiara?"

I carefully ask but like earlier, she continues starring at her phone and ignores me.

"Listen Chiara, I'm sorry. I know I should have told you but it was all so much and I didn't know how to tell you."

I am out of breath and she finally looks at me but with a different expression than I expected.

"What? I am sorry. Jake just texted me and send me a picture of himself. Look."

She showes me her phone with a picture of a shirtless guy with blond hair and grey eyes.

"Isn't he just perfect?"
Without expecting an answer my best friend stares at her phone again. I look at her in disbelieve and realize that she was probably too occupied by her phone that she didn't hear what the whole school was talking about today.

"Chiara, I need to talk to you. Can you please listen? I just need a minute and we don't have to talk about it afterwards so you can tell me all about Jake, but please, just listen. Chiara!"

The last word came out louder that I intented it to be and she looks at me in surprise. Usually I am the quiet type, so when I finally speak up, everyone is surprised.
Not the first time today.

"I broke up with Ryan about three weeks ago because I don't love him and at lunch, he kissed his new girlfriend in the hallway and when the others saw it, they asked me about it and because I was annoyed, I snapped at them and the whole school heard. I didn't tell you earlier because there was just so much going on because I met a girl, I really like. We made out in the bathroom of the club and I liked it and think that I might be gay and I'm so confused and didn't know how to tell you..."

Chiara just looks at me with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide in shock. She is speachless. I turn on the car and we start driving in silence until we reach her apartment block and I park the car in front of it. We just sit there and I don't know what else to say.

"So... You are... gay?"

I nod without daring to look at her and wait for her to continue.

"Like...for real?" I nod again and can feel  tears forming in my eyes and blurring my vision.

"Hey...hey Olivia. Are you crying? Why are you crying, it's okay? You liking girls doesn't change anything, you know that right?"

She really is worried about me and when I finally look at her again, she leans over to hug me.
"You are still my Olivia and I love you. Nothing is gonna change the fact that you are my best friend, okay? And I'm sorry."

I move back a little and this time it is me, who looks at her in surprise.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong." She is crying now too and I don't know what to do.
"I'm sorry that you were scared to tell me that. As your best friend you should be able to trust me and I'm sorry that you thought that would change anything between us."

"Me being scared doesn't have anything to do with you Chiara, I promise. I just... I don't know. It all feels so knew and saying it out loud makes it so... real. And I didn't cry because of me being scared. Okay, maybe a little."
We both laugh.