A New Sensation - Book 1

13

Two weeks later I am more frustrated than ever.  In fact, so much so I am beginning to loath that man in a love hate want to strangle him sort of way.  I suggested that we had more than just me in our private training sessions.  Though he was not happy, my reasoning of practicing my powers on others worked.  Sometimes Andrew was there, but most of the time Derek and Sandra were there when they were not training the pack themselves. 

I was getting really comfortable with how being a Peacekeeper works, at least what we all think I can, there's still some unknown potential.  When a wolfs emotions start to override the human logical side, often they only want to push for who is more dominant in the conversation before looking at the problem.  When it comes to verbal tension between wolves, I have learned to calm their wolves down.  Essentially slowing down their adrenaline production, and giving them the feeling of being well rested and clear of mind.   This was easier to practice on the couples within the pack because, they all have disagreements of some sort.  

Andrew, Derek and Issac have been my physical subject matters, where they ruffle each others feathers, mostly challenging Issacs authority much to their delight and his limitless irritation.    In this case, the best way to describe what it is I feel I am doing, is almost like I connect invisible ribbons to us all, and I am able to send out a peaceful feeling like I soak the ribbon in water and can wrap it around them.   I have to find my own center to do this, so I have been meditating everyday learning my own mind and body.   This I need more practice on, because afterwards I feel depleted and more weak.

What frustrates me the most, is that when it comes to verbal matters between Issac and I.  Mostly when he tells me to do something I disagree with, nothing I do works.   In fact, I seem to make him almost worse.   And that is what brings me to my current state of frustration.

This is the third time this week, where Issac and I have disagreed on my training.  The launch party for the neighbouring pack to join the construction business is tomorrow.  Issac wants me to train in my wolf form and on my abilities at the same time for an extra two hours.

I on the other hand am exhausted.  Tensions have been rising among packs.  Work and investigations have been piling in, and we are due to attend a meeting with the main countries pack leaders to discuss the animal attacks in the next month.  As a result of all of this, Issac seems to be taking out his frustration in extra training, like he fears an attack at any given moment.  Not to mention, I still have work.  I still have clients and work, and I am not doing the whole work, life wolf balance thing very well.   I need a break and he is not having any of it.   While we have been bickering back and forth, the others have left us alone in the forest clearly fed up as much as we are.

I throw my hands up in irritation.  "Issac.  You are working us too hard.  You have to let up a little. Extra training will NOT stop an attack.  It's about quality not quantity sometimes.  If you want me to not bite off every wolfs head tomorrow, I am going to go to sleep.  And damnit, so help me god don't you dare wake me up at stupid o'clock in the morning."

Issac growls at me in frustration. "Roxy.  You know we will be surrounded by more than one pack tomorrow.  There will be other visiting packs there to take the opportunity to form alliances.  It's become our job to make sure laws are followed.  It will be tense.  There are families with bad blood between them that will be in the same room.   I will not let any of my wolves be over powered, taken advantage of or caught in the crossfire."

"That may be.  But seriously.  You can't cram in physical study the day before.  You have prepared not only those attending, but the whole pack.  Though I get and understand this reasoning, I also am not going to let my body be broken before the storm hits."

"Roxy.  You are new to this.  You need all these movements to be muscle memory.  You need to be the strongest you can by...."

"Enough Issac.  I am tired.  Ill see you at the house."

I feel pins and needles as his power washes over me as he growls in a menacing way.

"Having a tantrum because I am not giving in won't solve anything Issac.  Calm down.  Lets go eat and discuss it then."

"We are not finished."

"Yes we are"

"No we are not."

"Issac!  What is your problem!"

"YOU! You are! Goddamnit, I cannot let you be vulnerable in there."

"And I won't.  You have taught me well.  I can take care of myself.  Ive managed to survive up until now haven't I?"

Issacs wolf is near the surface.  His eyes are yellow.  He's growling, and has his hands clenched to his side.

"I need to know you are safe.  I need to keep you safe."

"Do you realise how possessive you sound right about now? Calm down.  Everything will be fine."

"How do you know?  Everything was meant to be fine when we met, and yet I watched you nearly DIE!  Every night I hear your screams and whimpers.  I know you haven't dealt with the trauma.  WHAT happens if you freeze up?  IF this isnt muscle memory, if you can't protect yourself... You are not like the other wolves.  You haven't the experience like them.  Its not your upbringing.  This is the only way I know how to keep you safe. I just...  I can't...   I can't watch you die again.  Roxy, my wolf can't watch you get hurt."

I'm stunned.  I thought this was about the tension within the packs.  But, it's not.  This is about me.  This is personal.  He has spent the past few weeks not pushing the matter, but good god has he flaunted it.  Whenever we spa, he always makes sure I somehow end up underneath him.  When we are at the house we have had shared moments that have made my heart race in ways I wish it wouldn't, when he hands me coffee and brushes his fingers against mine.  Making dinner for everyone, he would find ways to brush up against me in the kitchen.   Or maybe its me doing this?  I don't know, I am feeling confused and not sure how to handle this.  

"Issac.  You need to trust me.  And you need to trust yourself.  Things may actually be ok tomorrow."

He looks at me with a pained expression filled with fear and anger.  I don't know what to make of it, but I can feel my heart soften for him.  "Issac.  You are a strong leader.  You have a strong pack who trust you and believe in you.  I do too.  You need to back off a little, and trust us back.  We can and will handle it tomorrow with those wolves."

He takes a deep breath, and before he shifts and takes off for a run I swear I hear him whisper "But I don't trust those other wolves around you."

A/N - Sort of a filler short chapter.   I needed to set it up for the next one for the launch party.