Red And Black [AU] - ON HIATUS

Lies

"He's my brother," Camyla answered before leaving, after that all you could hear was the echo of the closing metal cell door and Marinette's heavy breathing.

Marinette's POV

I tried to hold it in but my emotions were getting the best of me, just as I feared. Adrien Agreste was  going to be the death of me, and it was all my fault. I let him into my heart, shared him my pain, gave him my hope; which was a mistake. If I could go back in time, then the first thing I'd do is stop myself from meeting him; but then it hit me. What if I didn't meet him? Would I still be who I am now or not?

He made tore me apart and I put myself back together again. I am human and I know pain, pain is what turned me into this monster. But back then it was different, I didn't feel lost or in pain, but instead that I finally saw the bigger picture; accepted the harsh truth.

No one will care for you, no one loves you, you're on your own in this cruel world.

So I needed to know how to survive. That was when I put myself back together and turned into a something I would've never even thought of becoming, if it wasn't for him. This, all this wasn't just because of Chloe and Lila, but also because of that idiot who left.

I hated caring, I hated feeling. I didn't need any of those.

I looked to see if Camyla had gone and luckily, she did. I couldn't believe it. Adrien was just here. I was shocked but mostly in pain. One little part of me was satisfied that he came back but the rest of me wanted nothing to do with him. All these years, he didn't come back, he could've, but he didn't. What did he think? That I'd always be waiting for him?

I was overwhelmed. Camyla was gone, now I can do what I haven't done in a while; I can let my walls down. I was mad, furious even. He came back when I didn't want him to, why now? Why not a few years ago so that none of this would happen? Why did that idiot have to leave!?

Sadness.

It came, but I forced it back in; I shoved it down and bottled it up, just like I always did. It was an emotion that I didn't need. Sadness showed pain, pain showed weakness; I am not weak, not anymore. This wasn't really his fault but in a way it could be, I blamed him for leaving. He was the one thing that could ruin my plans, ruin what I've built. He made me feel so many things. I was angry but kind of satisfied. I was sad but also pretty glad. He used to make me so happy but was one of the roots of my depression. I hated him and I loved him.

I loved him.

No, I didn't. I couldn't. I loathe him now. I honestly do, I hate him so much but I still can't say that I want to kill him like every other person I hate, this is so confusing. I hate being confused. It meant that I wasn't in control and by now I should know that being in control is important. Love brought just that, confusion. To some, it felt good to be confused, let the path you choose guide you; nonsense. That's the reason for rule number 2.

Never fall in love.

Love is just stupid. It's a chemical reaction of the mind that lasts from twelve to eighteen weeks, it's not worth my time. Thinking about my emotions started to make me feel sick. I just didn't want to care, everything was perfect until he came along. I'm already doubting my ways. But it will take more than that to stop me.

I am not lost,
I just don't know which path to take,
But for each, something will cost,
There is no right choice to make.

I am insane,
I have no mercy,
I feel no pain,
I have lost humanity.

Love is stupid,
Feelings are pandemonium,
Those people you care for and love,
I don't need them.

Every passing moment,
Every passing day,
I search endlessly for solace,
But karma makes me pay.

I want to live,
But I want to die,
I say I'm happy,
But all I want to do is cry.

All those fairy-tales you hear,
All those legends and lore,
Are nothing but made up lies,
Like the life I had before.

Lies, I guess that's all everything was. My parents caring, Adrien saying that he'll always be there for me...all that was nothing. Nothing but lies.

A.N.
Thank you so much for the views dear readers! I can't believe this story reached 300 views! Actually, I can't even believe this story managed to get 100.....Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you and have a lovely day, bug out!

-Isa