my only one (COMPLETED)

the final chapter

Chapter 73:

---2 days later---

(Hanley’s point of view)

“Hanley? Hanley wake up!” Jack whispered softly into my ear, his voice making me smile. “What is it?” I squinted as I awoke to the bright sunlight that’d shone through the curtains. “Today’s the day” he sighed, sitting up. My smile quickly vanished as I remembered what he was talking about. How could I forget? Today was Alex’s funeral; my last chance to apologise to Alex for everything that’d happened between us.

I whimpered slightly, remembering his last words to me and that final kiss as he’d walked out the door. Jack must have seen my lip tremble and my eyes fill up with tears, and lay down beside me again, wrapping his warm strong arms around my stomach and kissing me softly behind my ear. “Everything will be okay, I promise. We need to be there for each other, and more importantly, we need to be there for Max. He needs us.” I swallowed back my tears, realising he was right. Max was our main priority; I needed to put my son before myself.

Just at that point I saw the door opening slowly from the corner of my eye. “Mum?” “Morning” I braved a smile. Max looked down to the ground, he clearly hadn’t forgotten what day it was.

--3 hours later—

I couldn’t believe it all as it happened. We walked into the church entrance, max’s hand gripped onto mine. Jack had his head down, he looked extremely uncomfortable, I knew he probably still had a strong hate for Alex, but I swear I heard him snivelling. “Mum.. is that?” Max was staring straight down the aisle were there was a open casket. I took a breath and held back my tears. “yeah” I barely spoke.

Max let go of my hand and slowly began walking towards the casket. “Are you sure you want him to see that?” Jack whispered. I suddenly realised how this could end badly. “Max” Max stopped abruptly and turned around. I shook my head and he nodded in reply. “C’mon Max” Jack took his hand and they sat down on a near bench. I looked back at the casket, wondering if I could bear to look.

After moments of debating it with myself I decided I would. I shuddered at the thought of each step I took I was closer and closer to witness the lifeless body of the man I love.. loved.

I stood behind a small group of strangers that I presumed were a part of Alex’s estranged family. Their faces showed little sign of despair, or in fact any sadness at all. I sensed that they were there because they had to be, not because they wanted to say goodbye.

As they moved along, I slowly made my way to Alex’s cold body. He just looked like he was sleeping, but without the familiar smile that I was used to sleeping next to. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, and wanted to reach out and touch his face once more time before he was finally taken away from me, but I knew I couldn’t, not in front of all these people at least.

I turned hastily, and caught the expected weepy glare from Alex’s mum. She hated my guts, I knew that, and she had a right to, however I didn’t think now was neither the time nor the place for such events, so I quickly looked at Jack and tried to smile at him, although this just encouraged more tears.

As I sat down beside Jack, I felt myself sink into his arms, almost falling apart. Jack kissed my cheek, a tear rolling down his cheek. He wiped it quickly, and looked straight ahead, squeezing my hand comfortingly. I heard Max crying quietly, and Jack put an arm over his shoulders. He was the only one holding us together, and I felt really bad for dropping all this weight on his shoulders.

--1 hour later—

Eventually, the crowd faded away from Alex’s freshly covered grave, leaving only me, Jack, Max and Mr and Mrs Gaskarth. There was an awkward silence as we stared at the tombstone. Jack had one arm around my waist, and the other holding Max’s hand. “Don’t you think you hurt him enough whilst he was alive?” Alex’s mum snapped, crying hysterically. I froze in shock, and wasn’t able to respond. Jack tightened his grip on my waist slightly, and I could feel he was annoyed by her comment. “W-what do you mean?” I stuttered, not looking up from the grave.

“Alex loved you to pieces, and you turned him away for… other men.”  She looked at Jack, and continued. “Now, you have the indecency to show up at his funeral, rubbing the salt in the wound one final time!” She spat, and I looked her in the eye.

She was a different woman to the one I’d known whilst I was pregnant. “You make me sick, and if Peter hadn’t convinced me to invite you, I wouldn’t have told you anything about it. I prayed you wouldn’t turn up at all today, never mind bring your tragic family with you!” “That’s enough!” Jack shouted, loosening his grip finally.

“With all due respect, Mrs Gaskarth, I really don’t appreciate you insulting my family. I understand you’re grieving over the tragic lose of your son, as are we all, but there is no need to take out your anger with my girlfriend over your son’s grave. Surely you would know that Alex wouldn’t want this, not here at least.” Jack tried to smile, but she just frowned at him.

“I don’t know why you’re with her, Jack. You used to be so nice, now you’re trying to marry a dirty whore who walked out on your wedding. I just don’t understand.” She turned around to leave, and I just fell to my knees and cried. I knew she hated my guts, but she didn’t need to be so fucking cruel. Not in front of Max.

“Are you Okay?” Jack asked, helping me up. “I’m fine, honestly. Thank you Jack, I love you so much.” I whispered, pressing a kiss on his lips, tears falling slowly down my cheeks. “Can we go home?” Max interrupted, his small voice almost breaking. “No, I need to stay here a little longer.” I didn’t even try to look into his eyes; I couldn’t handle that much despair.

“I’ll take him home, if you promise me you’ll be okay.” Jack grabbed Max’s hand again. “I’ll be fine. I love you.” I sighed, kissing his cheek. Jack made his way to the car, and Max wrapped his small arms around my waist. I bent down to hug him properly, and he whispered into my ear. “I was meant to give you this earlier, I’m sorry.” He stuffed an envelope in my hand as he pulled away to follow Jack.

Slightly confused I looked down and saw my name, i recognized the hand writing immediately. Realizing what this letter was, I breathed in and exhaled slowly, holding back my tears. My hands were shaking fiercely. I slowly began to open the envelope. A small weighty object was at the bottom, but I ignored it. My lip began to tremble as I pulled out the letter and began to read…

Dear Hanley,

How are you? Stupid question I know. Please don’t be mad at me, I didn’t do this to hurt you or max, or even Jack. Pathetic as it may seem, I just couldn’t bear staying alive knowing you were happier in someone else’s arms. One thing I have to let you know, I love you. I loved you since the day Jack first introduced me to you. And then when Jack told me you didn’t feel the same way, I wanted to die right there and then. But then I find out Jack was lying, and had he not of lied all would of probably been well. Sorry. I’m not trying to turn all the blame on him. But also, sorry if I’ve ever hurt you. That’s my only regret. Putting you through all of this.

Anyway, I know you love me. Don’t give up on your life just because I did. You still have max, and Jack. Regardless of how you feel about me, I know you love Jack. And I trust Jack to take care of you. I didn’t write a letter to Jack, but tell him I said thank you. He can be there for you and max.

As my sort of “dying wish” promise me you won’t grieve for long. I hate to think I’m still causing you pain even after I’ve gone. If there’s a heaven (or hell), I’ll be watching all 3 of you, hoping for the best.

I wish I could write forever, but my hand is starting to hurt. My eye sight’s also terrible as my eyes are blurred with tears as I write this. Before I say goodbye however, do you remember this…

The time I proposed to you. When you said yes, it was the happiest moment of my entire life. And so I thought of this just before i… you know. So I died a happy man I’d say. You kept the ring remember? That was another happy moment, knowing you cared enough to keep it. Then I heartlessly took it back. But I want you to have it.

Goodbye Hanley.

And that’s the end! Sorry there was a long wait between chapters. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting! Please share this with your (internet)friends if you think they’d like it! Thanks again!