j i m i n f o c u s
It's upsetting.
The way his eyes sparkle, and then he looks down in shame.
As if he thought that what he was doing was wrong.
As if he was a disgrace. Stigma. Blot. Irritation. Embarrassment. Humiliation. Confusion. Those are the emotions that consume him.
As if he thought he shouldn't.
As if he thought he shouldn't think of being with another boy because... because... he's a boy too. And boys with boys don't match. At least, I can tell he shows some kind of interest in me.
But it's still upsetting.
It's upsetting because he thinks that, even if he did admit to liking boys, none would like him back.
It's upsetting because he can't see that I'm right here and he's just smiling like a goof one second, and about to cry the next.
It's upsetting because I can't help but be selfish. Selfish because I assume that sparkle in his eye is for me, and selfish for thinking that the shame and the regret that consumes him, is because of me too. Selfish because I can't help but think about how his lips would feel pressed against mine.
But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that we'll get out of this elevator, and he'll just forget about talking to me and run off to his pretty secretary. But, even if he does run to his pretty secretary, I know he couldn't forget about me. And that's what scares me the most.
I'm afraid to hurt him.
But I won't hurt him.
Because I've never kissed anyone before.
And I've only ever wanted to kiss him.
YOU ARE READING
Elevator Music √ minjoon √
Fanfiction"H-Hi there..." "Hi." Germaphobe, Park Jimin, hates elevator rides. It's too bad he met the love of his life on one. --- Started: October 2nd, 2018 Ended: December 29th, 2019
