A Serial WHAT?!? [EDITING]

Six

It was the anniversary. I woke up already feeling numb. I hated this feeling.

I get out bed and head down stairs. Rianna is already sitting on the couch. Chocolate on the coffee table and the remote sitting on her lap with a movie ready to play on the screen.

The day was blurry. I didn't cry but Rianna did enough and I rubbed her leg, comforting her. Dean showed up at some point too and I barely noticed.

It was almost dark when Dean mentioned the cemetery. 'I don't want to go' I say.

'Why?' Dean frowns.

'Because I'm not ready' I state.

'Have you not ever been to the graves?' Dean asks, shock and disbelief written on his face. 'Do you really not care?'

'What?' I was taken back 'If you think that then you don't know me at all' I say softly. How could he dare say that I don't care.

'No, but I would assume you would see them, talk to them' Dean snaps 'But they sit there and wait for you but you don't come'

'Dean' I snap 'Enough'

'Dean' Rianna scolds 'She said she isn't ready'

'No, she just couldn't give a shit'

It felt like a slap in the face 'It's not that I don't care, it's because I care too much' I yell 'I don't want to go there and relive it and feel all that pain again because living each day without them is painful enough'

Neither of them say anything so I continue my rant 'I think about them every day, all day but if I go there and I see where they're buried then I will see it and I can't do that, it's bad enough in my dreams, I will not let my walls crumble after I spent twelve months building them' I snap and storm out of the living room and up to my room.

Giving no fucks, I go lay in bed and wrap myself in the blanket.

Dean storms in and grabs my phone 'What the fuck are you doing?' I snap.

'Calling Rocco' he tells me 'You may not realise it but he has helped you the last week'

'Fuck off Dean, leave my shit alone' I snap.

'Hey, it's Dean here.. Look, Cara is emotional as hell and I think you can help her..' He pauses 'Why? What did you do? Like a married couple..' Dean laughs.

'Dean' I yell and get up 'Seriously, you are pissing me the fuck off'

'See what I mean' Dean says to Rocco on the other end of the phone. 'No shit, I'm not blaming her, all I am saying is that I can't help her right now and you can'

'Seriously' I jump at him but he has longer arms and now the phone is on speaker.

Rocco is the last person I want to see today.

'She hasn't even cried and I think she needs to' Dean calls to the phone. Rocco doesn't answer.

'Do you want me to come over sweet heart?' Rocco asks after a moment but he already knew the answer.

'You of all people know that you are the last person I want to see today' I seethe.

'Damn, so much hostility' Dean laughs. 'Seriously though, what did you do to her man?'

'Mind your own fucking business Dean, I already told you to back the fuck off, all I want is to be alone'

'Will you cry if I leave you alone?' Dean asks.

'Dean, leave' we both look and see Rianna at the door. She looked heart broken.

'I am just trying to help her RiRi, she doesn't even cry for them' Dean says gently as if I wasn't here.