A Series of Ephemeral Tales

ᴜɴᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴘʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ ʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴅʀᴀғᴛ

Before

I gasped as I tore my way through the thick underbrush surrounding my home. Today wasn't supposed to be a disaster. Tears made my hair stick to my face, their salty residue flooding my senses. I stumbled into a small clearing, collapsing to the ground with body-racking sobs. It was all his fault.

How could bliss be followed by heart-break so instantaneously?

Yesterday had be Heaven and Hell, euphoric and sinful. I could still feel his hands in my hair, on my waist— the touch of his lips tracing all  of me, making my nerves explode with sensation. I shudder at the memory of his lips as they traced the ridge of my collarbone. All so unexpected, but strangely familiar. Maybe it was him, maybe it was us. But it was all ruined by a single sentence.

This was a mistake.

I gasp as my body convulses from the bitter sobs of my doing. I told him we were a mistake... How could I be so stupid?

The way his face crumpled, then hardened resolutely— it made me cringe in self-hatred. How could I do that to him? With a simple sentence, I broke both of our hearts.

I just wish I realized it sooner...

I tear at the grass under my palms, self-loathing stirring in my blood like a virus. So many things were wrong about yesterday, yet so many things were right.. Another sob shakes my body and I stand. No music plays, but the melody of my own heartbreak, like a voice drowning in a storm, pushed me to make the first step.

My movements were slow and controlled— one foot stepped out, drawn in. A dip, a pivot, a bow. Foot circling out and behind me as my body drops low into a wild crouch before I explode into movement. Sharp, angry movements become me as I dance through the pain of my own doing, the hatred I feel towards myself shown in every fluid motion of my dance.

'How could I be so stupid? How could I do this to him of all people?' The same question is like a broken record in my mind, fueling the anger that drove me to dance until a single thought brought me to an abrupt halt, and filled the air with silence once more.

'Wake up!'

I gasp as I lurch in my bed, clawing away the tangled covers that threaten to strangle me as I wake up from that terrible nightmare, cheeks stained with drying tears and a broke sob tearing its way from my chest. I pull my knees to my chest, holding myself as I will the memory to go as far away as possible.

But a dam had broken and more unwanted, terrible memories of what I'd done came flooding back to me...

I sat with him, on a bench in Herondale Park, each of us with a cone of ice cream in hand, me with a scoop of strawberry and him with—

"What the actual hell are you eating?" I asked with a frown, though I'm sure he could tell I was laughing at him. Julian turned to grin at me.

"This is their limited flavor, it's called licorice and—" I never stopped him so fast.

"Licorice?!" I gagged, my eyes immediately wary. "Honestly Jules, licorice?" He chuckled.

"Don't look so personally offended Kath," he grinned, and I grimaced at his offensive cone.

"Well, then don't eat such horrid things.. couldn't you have gotten chocolate or something?" He laughed.