A Series of Ephemeral Tales

ᴅᴇᴀʀ ʏsᴀʙᴇʟʟᴀ

Dear Ysabella,

The picture that I am looking at of you changes entirely in the twenty years of growing ahead of you. A fence goes up behind you, separating our yard from the Mask's. The garden grows from the few pots behind you into a sprawling eden. But you, little one— you change the most.

Looking at you, I can see how happy and carefree a baby you are. To see such innocence captured in a film is bittersweet and melancholic. You are such a unique girl— so smart and bright  and full of hope.

As you get older, things will start changing. School will bring you friendships and adversaries, people will pick on you because of your pureness and love. It isn't fair, but people who are full of darkness can't help but glare at the light.

Through all of that, life at home will change as well. You will get two little brothers before the start of middle school. You will lose someone you love for the first time. You will make many, many memories— both happy and sad— memories that will shape you as you grow.

Your parents are going to argue and fight, fight and break up and make up and break up again. By the time you enter middle school, they will be separated and it will hurt and you'll blame them for that hurt— but know that they love you, and even though you won't understand it at the time, they loved each other immensely.

By the time eight grad starts, mommy will be having another baby, your little sister. You will love her more than the moon and stars for years to come, and she will be the light that's gives you strength in the darkness to come— along with family and your truest friends.

Little Bella..

When high school comes, you will suffer the greatest loss of your life. I don't know why, but mommy had to leave us.

Losing her is one of the hardest things we will ever go through. She loved us so fiercely and eternally and living in a world without her will be a challenge we face for the rest of our lives.

Throughout high school, you will meet people who guide you along your way, people who help you learn lessons and prepare you for life, people who will shape you into me.

Daddy will remarry, and our stepmother will make life seem unbearable at times, but try not to worry, because it will get better. You will fight and bicker with your brothers, but it won't break your bond, because you love them and they love you. Your big sister will be a rock in the years that follow losing mommy, but if you ever feel like she's drifting away, don't be hurt. This was her time to grow as well, and you will be close for years to come.

At school, you will meet people who you give your trust to only to have it broken in the end. Try not to carry that sting of betrayal with you, because you are surrounded by people who love you and will never hurt you.

During this time of growth, you will grow closer to Gramma, your best friends and siblings— and you will feel a great distance between you and daddy for a long time. You will feel misunderstood and discouraged but just know that daddy loves you and he is proud of you, even if it isn't spoken as often as you think you need it.

As you enter adulthood, you will embark out on your own and take time to figure out who you are. You will start working, make new friends, and discover so many more things about who you are as a person. Eventually you'll move into a house with your sisters, independent for the first time you can remember.

This part of our life is the best and worst part of our journey. You will have the world at your fingertips, sweetie— please don't be afraid to take it...

I'm writing this to you now because it's one of our darkest times, baby girl. It's a time where we feel lost and afraid and alone. We are feeling unimportant and discouraged and, presently, I cannot say whether it gets better or not. 

But please. Please remember to keep hoping and dreaming and living life for you. Everything will fall into place one day.

I love you so very much and when we meet in twenty years, I really hope I don't disappoint you.

Love you always,

Ysabella.