the mind's recesses

When I die,
I hope I will be able to travel
Through my head
In a fully conscious state.

I want to see
What it is like
To really be me.

Whether I think that
The Earth is flat,
Or whether I'm happy or sad
(I don't always know,
But maybe I will someday).

Are there really caves in my head,
Which are filled with water
That brushes the ceiling,
And wears away the rock with
Every flimsy wave?

I want to know how deep I love
And how strong I hate.

Did the chicken come before the egg?

I want to find memories
That slipped through the stitches
And tied themselves in little bows
On each and every tree.

I need to dig through the trunks
Of paper, that lie abandoned on
The sidewalks of the streets,
And read my stories
With clear, patient eyes.

I want to remember myself
At my most embarrassing,
And at my cruelest,
And at my coldest.

I want to remember myself
At my kindest,
And my most thoughtful.

I want see myself as me,
And peel away the layers of pretend
(If there are any),
So that my mind can lay before me
In it's filthy, pure state.

I want to know how much
Forgotten homework there is.
Probably too much.

There is no hidden agenda:
Just simple curiosity,
That pushes me to wonder
How I was really meant to be.

And when I have to go
- if I'm allowed to go -
I will smile, and shake my head,
As the sun touches the moon
And takes me away
In a fog of pretty light.

I will smile, because
I will finally know who I am,
And there will be no regrets
That I will have to live through.

Yes, I will smile, because
I will see myself
As who I was,
And who I could've been,
And know that there is no difference
Between the two.

***

...well that happened. i'm done. it's over. i'm never writing another goddamn poem again.

thanks to everyone who read this - it really means a lot to me that you would even bother. makes me feel special.

that's it, really. you can go now.

...

you're still here? go away.

......

GO.

..........

BUT WAIT! there's more!

i will be taking a break from poetry, because this is a hecking load of poems. however, it is not the end!

i don't know how soon, but definitely this year, i will start another poetry series!

WHAT?! REALLY?!!

yes. yes really.

thanks again my potatoes. you rock. seriously.

~ Potato190505