Five Seconds After the Flash

Chapter Six

The next morning, I felt emotionally prepared to meet with Reid. I had set in my mind to not allow my emotions to dictate the conversation, and to remember what my mother had said about not letting the past prevent me from moving forward.

I showered, dressed in a simple pink sundress and flats, and pulled my hair up into a bun. I looked in the mirror and practiced some determined faces, smiling in my best "professional and polite" manner.

Keep it friendly. 

By the time I arrived at the coffee shop, I was a nervous wreck.

I saw his silver Jeep Cherokee in the parking lot as I pulled up. It had been brand new when I had first met him, and I still remembered the first time I had hopped in the passenger seat after school, all smiles and nervous giggles.

I parked near him and got out to head toward the entrance. Sister's was an old house near the square that had been renovated into a quaint little coffee shop. We had hung out there pretty often during high school, but this was the first time I'd been since graduation.

Walking through the door, I spotted him immediately. He was wearing a simple blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and khaki shorts, sitting at a table facing the door. When he saw me, he smiled and held his hand up in a quick wave.

It was not so long ago that he had not been like any other person so much as an extension of myself. Where Reid was, I was there. We had been crazy about each other immediately, unable to get enough. So now, looking at this person who was both familiar and like a stranger to me, I could not believe how quickly everything had changed.

I sat across from him at the table, and ordered a cappuccino from the waitress.

"I guess some things never change," he said with a smirk as the waitress walked away. He took a sip of his drink and I peered over the top of the cup.

"Black coffee, half a packet of sugar?" I asked.

"You know me so well," he said with another sip.

I smiled, but it felt more like my mouth was forming a straight line, the corners not quite curving the way I wanted.

The waitress brought my cappuccino and I thanked her. I took a sip, and it tasted just like I remembered. 

Reid and I had sat in this coffee shop many times, looking at each other from across the table, talking about our plans for the future, college and where we wanted to settle down one day. We talked about traveling to Europe to visit his extended family, but I had never gotten to meet them in the 2 years that we dated.

"We've had so many conversations at this place," I said.

"We have. It feels like a long time ago and just the other day at the same time."

"It does," I agreed. 

"I truly was sorry to hear about Travis," he said, "He was a great man. I wanted to be there for you, I just . . . didn't know how. I didn't know if you even wanted me around."

"I didn't want anything, except for things to go back to normal. I wanted him to be alive. I wanted to feel like myself again."

He nodded. "I get that."

"But I don't know how. Honestly, I was terrified to come back home but it's the closest I've gotten to feeling myself since he's been gone."

"Or, at least the version of yourself that you remember," he said.

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I mean, you can't keep looking for the person that you were, because you're different now. You lost someone who was really important in your life. You don't just go back to who you were before that."