z.b (imagines) [💭]

grounding

     It was only 9pm.
    
     You were calm, not doing anything, aside from mindlessly scrolling through twitter liking all the tweets from all of your favourites.

     Then suddenly your breathing hitched, your palms becoming sweatier by the second, and your hands starting to shake briskly.

     Your mind was racing, and you felt a twing of anxiety in the back of your neck, and soon enough, that spread.

     Another panic attack. Fantastic.

     Zak was in the living room, watching a movie alone considering the two of you unfortunately had a small argument just hours before. You both wanted to be left alone to cool down for a minute, and you definitely didn't want to get in his way, especially if he was upset with you.

     You tried getting through it by yourself, which you've always had trouble doing bearing in mind that you had no coping mechanisms that were helpful in any way.

     You were determined to get through it alone, though, not wanting to bother Zak with your presence. You made your way onto the floor and pushed yourself into a corner, everything around you fading in and out as if you were about to lose consciousness.

     Your breathing soon became shallow, leaving you gasping for air as you gripped your own arms as tightly as possible.

     You start to lose confidence.

     I can't get through this alone.

    

     I head upstairs, finally cooled down from a rather heated argument me and y/n just had an hour ago.

     I was ready to talk to her, make sure we were still good and make up.

     I knocked on the bedroom door softly, glancing around the room before I stopped and noticed her on the floor in the corner, shaking her head and whispering to herself.

     I rush towards her, sitting cross legged in front of her.

     "y/n..hey.." I slowly put my hand on her shoulder and she immediately jerks away from my touch, letting me know that she feels suffocated.

     I start to speak to her, asking if she can hear me and comprehend what I'm saying. After she confirms that she can grasp my words and understand them clearly.

     "Don't forget your breathing, seven out hold, seven in, hold.." I mumble, wishing to just pull her into me and calm her down, but respecting her space, I don't.

     She nods quickly, following what I do with her breathing, that only doing very little to bring her back to reality.

     "Let's try grounding, okay?.." I trail off as I try to remember the stages in the technique I had learned just months prior of learning about y/n's condition.

     "Now..I need you to tell me five things you can see...can you do that for me y/n?.." I ask quietly, watching as she slowly picks her head up and scans that room.

    "I..I uh..I see the bed...I see you..you in front of me..." she stops, rubbing her eyes with a shaky hand.

     "You're doing good, three more..."

     She sighs heavily and looks around again, having trouble because of her tears blurring her vision.

     "The...the lamp...the light switch, and..and the door..the door it's open.." she stutters and pushing her chin into her arm.

     "Good, you're doing great babygirl..now tell me four things you can feel..." I study her eyes as she closes them, releasing her hands from her arms slowly and pushing them into the carpet below her.

     "I..feel the...the carpet, and..and my charger cord..." she moves her hands forward and feels my hand that I never noticed sitting in between us. Her breathing becomes a bit slower.

     "I..feel your hand...the rings..." she then pulls on one of my fingers, making me pull it up so she could hold it.

     "Thank you baby, now can you tell me three things you can hear?.."

     She's quiet for a bit, but then speaks up.

     "I can hear...the birds outside..the heater rumbling downstairs...I can hear you..you breathing..." she scoots closer to me, starting to feel less suffocated.

     "Now two things you can smell?.."

     "Your cologne...and...the air freshener I sprayed earlier..it's so strong.."

     "One more babygirl we're almost done...one thing you can taste..."

     "...mint..my gum.."

     At this point she's now looking at me completely, smiling lightly. She falls onto me, I engulf her in a rough embrace, being nearly brought to tears from what I witnessed her going through.

     "Thank you Zak.." she mumbles in my shirt, my hand rubbing up and down hers.

     "Of course baby, why didn't you come and get me before it got bad?.." I ask rather disappointed, but I tried not to give off a disappointed vibe.

     She shrugs, "since we had that fight I assumed you wanted to be left alone still, so I tried helping myself..."

     I hug her tight again, shaking my head. "Baby, please don't think I don't want to help you or won't help you just cause we had some ridiculous disagreement..."

     "Okay Zak..I'm sorry.."

     I pull back and look her in the eyes.

        "You don't have to apologize."

ah this is kinda wack