I'm being stalk by a vampire.....( 5sos )

I do what i want im punk rock

" OH SAY CAN YOU SEE , I REALLY HAVE TO PEE AND BY THE DAWN OF TIME GEORGE GAVE MY MOTHER LIFE SO SAY CAN I HAVE PEE RIGHT NOW PLEASE DUN DUN DUNN DUNNN."

I scream on top if my lungs , let's recap ,

I told Calum I loved him , now he's in a coma I'm in a closet that's fucken huge and no one will let me out oh btw , WHO THE FUCK MAKES A CLOSET SOUND PROOF LIKE HEY LUKE YOU RAPEING KALIE IN HERE DA FUC , I sit still have to pee , I walk over to the door and jingle the Handel , wait I'm a angel and a demon wtf am I doing , I simply walk up kicking the door down and walking out using the rest room then when I walk back into the living room , someone was wearing my brah and there's weed ?

" Ok cliffornado get my bra off your head , Luke put on some pants , no Luke not my pants , ASHTON STOP TAKING PICTURES WITH DESSA OK OMFG KALIE PUT THE WEED DOWN CHILD YOUR HIGH ! NO ASHTON I DONT WANNA TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU , MICHAEL STOP HITTING LUKE , LUKE STOP LETTING MICHAEL HIT YOU MAN UP , CALUM STOP POKING ME OMFG -."

" Fine ."

" HOLY SHIT CALUM ."

I jump on his back cuddling him to death kissing his face ,I don't care if I look mental I was trap in the closet for a day so ....

" Why does the house smell weird ."

I groan standing up giving Cal-pal some blood in a glass , where do I start ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

" So I was trap in a closet for a day I kick the door down which you need to call a guy for that then I walk out here but went pee first then Michael , Ashton , Dessa and Kalie where high then Dessa's mum left yesterday be for I was lock in the closet and they where high Luke was trying to put my pants on then Michael had my bra on his head and then I yelled at them, then you came down the steps poking me , and now where talking about this ."

I say taking a breath looking at Calum's expression , which meant " your probably on drugs or I'm on drugs because that's crazy ." but actually it was

" We'll that's a story I want to hear when I'm half awake ."

I hold in a giggle , wait when am I so girly wtf I'm punk rock I do what I want , that's until my bra was in the pool and I lost it

" OK YOU ALL BETTER EXPLAN IM FUCKEN DONE MY LACE BRAH IS IN THE POOL NOT TO MENTION WHERE AT A HOTEL AND NOW PEOPLE KNOW I WHERE VICTORIA SECRETE I WANT EVERYONE TO CLEAN UP NOW AND MICHAEL YOU GET MY BRA FROM DOWN STAIRS GO ."

I scream everyone stumble to there feet then running off doing what I ask I turn around seeing Calum laughing , I pout

" What the fuck are you laughing at coma boy ."

" Your cute when your mad ."

" I'm punk rock I can do what I want , so suck my ass bitch ."

...... I literally made this funny as hell with out trying holy shit