The Diary of Joy

Extended family

10. Peace, the year of the Phoenix

Dear Angel,

Yesterday was another of those days, the day to visit grandmother and grandfather and I really didn't want to go. It was especially true for this visit because Peace and I had so much fun playing my Who Did It Game that I didn't want to ruin those precious moments by visiting the people who I can only describe as different.

You must be wondering why do I go then? Usually, everyone avoids things they know will not make them happy, things that surely won't be enjoyable.

That's where being a wise fairy becomes a burden. I am aware that no matter what happened, what they did to mom, to my family, they are just confused.

They don't understand us and the way we chose to live our lives and I think the best way to help them see that it is okay to be different, to break away from the traditions, is to spend time with them but it sure is difficult.

The first time I went to see them it was because my mother wanted me to know who my grandparents were although they weren't really keen on meeting me.

She did that for me, not wanting me to be left in the dark on who we are and where we came from. Whether we want to admit it or not, they are an important part of who my mother is, of who I am, and she wanted me to see that for myself and make my own decision.

They didn't want me there but still, it is in fairy nature to be polite, so I was faced with cold politeness. After that visit, it was up to me if I wanted to visit them again or not, my mother having long accepted their obstinacy and given up on ever being able to change their minds.

At first, I didn't go, I didn't want to go to a place where I wasn't welcomed, where I was judged. However, recently I have been going there. I have actually been going there more often than anyone would after the cold welcome I received during our first meeting.

You are probably wondering have I gone off my fairy-elf mind, but the truth is I feel sorry for them. After all, they are my mother's parents, they raised her to be this amazing person that she is today and I feel sorry that they forgot all the values they have ingrained into their daughter's mind.

Be brave, be kind and accepting of others. Never judge the actions of others and try to be the best fairy you can be.
She did all of that but still, they disapproved because her way of seeing the world didn't match up with theirs.
They have lost the only family they have ever had because of their inability to understand that we are all different, I am just a bit more different from the most.

However, that's not how they saw it. They were, well still are, ashamed of me, of mom, of our whole awesome little family.
Why?
Because we are not exactly the same as all the other fairy families, and that way of thinking is so strange to me.

Is that reason enough to be all alone and angry although even they are not sure why they are angry at us? Is it because we made them stand out in the society where that should have been praised but is not?
I am not sure, but I feel like that's the biggest issue for them.
Still, we never did anything to them except love them despite them being cold towards us.

Well, at least I do that. I think my siblings don't share my emotions, probably because they are even less accepted by them than me.
Having humans in a magical family is more horrible than anything else mom could have done for those pretentious fairies.
And I know that humans can be awful sometimes but magical beings can be terrible too, and they are the living proof of that.

Mom made her own life choice, she didn't do anything wrong and yet instead of participating in her joy, they decided to shun her and reject her and her family, their family.

I have a feeling that grandfather is more reasonable than grandmother, but they are in such a close unity that he is unable to express his individuality, unable to accept me without her approval.
The grandmother is the one in charge, always has been, always will be.

Mom used to tell me stories of how nice and caring grandmother was, but it is difficult to see all that now because all she has shown me so far is an angry, bitter fairy, something that I thought was impossible to find in the fairy society.

Even when I do visit, she keeps being rude and yelling around the house which makes me feel really uncomfortable since we never yell at each other in anger. (We do sometimes yell when playing but that's a whole different kind of yelling.)
Still, I keep on going, I try to show her what she is missing out on, her grandchildren, her family, but mom doesn't go with me anymore, she can't.

It hurts her more than she would like to admit seeing the lack of acceptance that we both face, but she still respects my choices and I love that about her. That's what's awesome about my parents, they never try to tell me to change my mind about something, but they give me all the facts and let me reach my own opinions.

My grandmother is sometimes nice enough, but there are times, like yesterday, that she says such horrible things that are not true.
She talked about my mother and how problematic she was, which I know is not true.
Then she proceeded to talk about that and how unnatural it was for a fairy to marry an elf, and I was at the end of my patience.
It took all my patience and kindness not to snap at her, but I did leave earlier than usual because I wasn't ready to deal with that much negativity.

I think she forgets that I am still a child, that there are things I should never be forced to listen to, or she doesn't care. I am not sure.
But still I don't regret my decision, I will keep on going and showing them the special spark that resides in my soul in the hopes that one day they will be able to see it too.

On the other hand, there are grandma and grandpa, my dad's parents who are the greatest grandparents ever.
They always support me and listen to my ideas no matter how crazy the ideas are or how hyperactive I am.
So much patience and love is something that makes my heart warm and it is a pure delight to spend time with them.

When I was younger I used to ask them to listen to me play the harp, and although I was terrible at it, they listened to my music clapping and cheering, making me feel like the happiest person alive.

They were never focused on the fact that I was different from everyone else, they loved that about me.
For them, I was special, unique. The fact that I was the only fairy-elf in existence made them even prouder in me and the way I represented my own hybrid species even though I was the only member so far.

Also, my grandparents really like my friend Echo. They say he is precious and that who doesn't think so is crazy.
They aren't afraid to say things as they see them.

In turn, Echo and I often visited my grandparents together, especially because even the other elves don't see us as unnatural but just a bunch of kids who could sometimes be cute but sometimes annoying.

Oh, sorry, I must go now.
I am going to visit grandma and grandpa, so I better get ready.

See you next time,

Love,

Joy