The Diary of Joy

Dance of All Ages

3. Joy, the year of the Phoenix

Dear Angel,

I told you yesterday that I had to get ready for another Autumn event, and I have to tell you all about it since it didn't go the way I thought it would. Honestly, I am not sure how to describe last night, so I'll just tell you what happened.

So after I finished telling you about dad's story, I got ready for the Dance of All Ages and went to the event with Echo.

Now, Dance of All Ages is what the name says, a dance for everyone, but one unusual thing about it is that people of different ages are expected to dance with each other and have fun. For example, parents and their children dance, grandparents and their grandchildren, and so on.

Since I enjoy dances so much, I did my best to look perfect. I chose the dawn-tinted dress with pink and white flowers that moves beautifully when I twirl around, which I love doing. Also, I put some flowers in my carefully braided hair to add to the light and fun look.

I even secretly put a little bit of red strawberry juice on my lips and used a bit of pink pollen from the special flower my mom has to put on my eyelids, the way I heard human girls do. There are rumors that mom did that as well.

Anyway, everything was going rather well, especially having in mind that it was a dance involving a lot of different magical beings who didn't always get along well. I guess everyone was on their best behavior since this only happens once a year.

My family and I were the friendliest of all, since we knew that true friends could be found everywhere and the divide that the tradition taught us existed was just a myth. It was something they needed to justify their dislike for the ones who were different, who dared make a splash in the peaceful lake of their lives.

So, I was enjoying myself, dancing with grandpa and dad, as well as some of our other elf cousins. It was the same as every year, and I was having a lot of fun dancing with the people who were always there for me.

Then it happened.

For the first time, grandfather approached me; and asked to dance with me. Grandmother was ignoring my brothers and it was obvious that grandfather wanted to dance only with me, not with Mischief or even mom.

Honestly, I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him to go and dance with his daughter who spend years waiting for the approval that never came. It didn't seem fair to me that I would be accepted, and no one else would.

I looked at mom, and she nodded her head in approval doing her best to muster a convincing smile. It didn't look very convincing, but still, I accepted to dance with grandfather. I knew that my mother wanted me to have all the family I can, even if she didn't have her parents' support, she was happy that they supported me.

It was so awkward because it was obvious that he didn't feel comfortable dancing with me. I am generally a good dancer, but he kept shifting and looking around so much that at one point, I almost fell.

When it was time for the dance to end, I was relieved. It was as if a horrible burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and all I wanted to do was run away from my fairy grandparents and to the people who accepted me without all the awkwardness.

I wanted to spend time with people who were focused on spending time with me and not on what other people would say about them accepting a halfling.

Yet, a part of me couldn't just storm off. It was rude, and my mother raised me to be polite and respectful even when people didn't truly deserve it.

So, I let grandfather lead me to where the grandmother was waiting, although I just wanted to be free of their presence and have fun with my real family. Sometimes being a well-mannered girl can be exhausting.

Once we reached grandmother, she hugged me briefly as if my skin might burn her and I realized that she was ashamed. She was ashamed, that she had accepted me and yet I understood that she was trying as much as she could. I couldn't help but appreciate that.

It took grandmother only a few moments to go from trying to accept me to her old judgmental self, and when she spoke up, I couldn't believe my ears.

"How can you dance so terribly? Didn't that mother of yours teach you anything?" Grandmother said.

That was one of the moments where I doubted the most the things I knew about her, the fact that she was a healer, that she used to help people. All the nice stories mom told me about her, disappeared from my mind and all I could see was a bitter old woman who couldn't accept that we all had different opinions and loved different people.

"I was doing perfectly fine with everyone else. I guess you should have taught grandfather how to dance instead of insulting my mother." I blurted out.

The moment the words escaped me, I regretted them. I didn't want to hurt her, or grandfather. I just wanted them to let me be, to stop judging my every move, and just allow me to be me.

Guilt started drowning me, and I knew that although I was right, I needed, wanted to apologize. It was stronger than me, I don't feel good when I hurt others. I want everyone to live happily, even if they don't want the same for me.

"I apologize, I must not be feeling well. I better go." I said.

Before they had the chance to do or say anything, I ran away from them almost tripping on my dress.

Soon enough, I bumped into someone and was happy to see it was Echo.

The great thing about Echo being my best friend, is that I don't have to tell him anything, he doesn't need to talk he can read my face like an open book. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me away from the crowds, away from rules, obligations, and horrible grandparents.

Before I knew it, we were high up on a nearby tree, enjoying the view of a full moon and star-bejeweled sky. It has always been our thing.

Whenever one of us feels bad, we go to the highest possible tree, high above our worries and just enjoy being one with nature. It can be so liberating, especially when adults are being especially difficult.

Okay, I better go now. I need to tell mom and dad what happened, and I am not sure how they will react. After all, they taught me to respect the elders and cherish family. Last night, I did none of those things.

Anyway, thank you for being there for me, my friend.

Love, Joy