The Diary of Joy

Parenting woes

2. Joy, the year of the Phoenix

Dear Angel,

Last night, after another night of festivities that I thoroughly enjoyed, dad decided that it has been a long time since he told us a story and that it was his sacred duty as a father to do so.

We all groaned in desperation when we heard that the title of his story was 'Parenting woes' since it was clear that we were in for a night of embarrassing stories about us, theatrically told by my dad, pretending to be telling us well-known tales of old.

Of course, we enjoy his stories even when they are embarrassing, but still, we like to groan and complain. It is like a game we play with dad where he pretends that he is exasperated by parenting and we pretend we don't enjoy his stories.

"Long, long time ago, in a land far far away, there lived a wonderful father and a caring mother with four naughty children." Dad started his story.

"Dad!" we all yelled in unison.

"Okay, okay. They lived with four children who were occasionally very naughty." Dad corrected himself.

"Their names were Super-energetic-girl-who-never-stops, A-boy-who-rarely-talks, A-boy-who-never-stops-talking, and A-girl-who-always-gets-into-trouble." He said.

Seeing our sour expressions, he started chuckling to himself but decided to go on with the story anyway.

"Okay, for the ease of storytelling, we shall call these children Joy, Peace, Chatterbox, and Mischief." He said with a huge grin on his face.

As we said nothing, he went on with the story with a smug look on his face.

"All of the children represented different kinds of quests for the parents who were the brave heroes ready to face the unknown. They were not afraid to tackle any obstacle that their children set up before them to test them.

The first test came with the first child, not surprisingly. She appeared to be an angel however looks can be deceiving, which she proved by escaping the care of the valiant parents more than I dare tell you.

It was a constant chase, a perpetual game of hide-and-seek but even worse than that was the Event!" He said ominously.

"No, dad, just don't," I said.

"Oh, no. One cannot tell this tale without discussing the Event.

One night the little one innocently asked to sleep with those courageous parents of hers since she was having nightmares, and upon being graciously allowed to share the bed with them, she proceeded to wet the bed completely covering the sheets in foul liquid." Dad went on theatrically.

"Eww!" The others said.

"Dad, "I said in desperation.

It was a story all my siblings knew, but although I know it's funny, it still makes me feel embarrassed when I hear it. On the other hand, I can't help but laugh at dad's theatrical retellings of what is just a regular bed wetting occurrence.

"Anyway, being blessed with awesome magical powers, they were able to clean up the mess and go back to sleep. That is until they were woken up by their precious Joy's screaming since she had another nightmare.

Of course, in the morning she slept in, while our heroes had to go to work and pretend that they were alright, that they didn't crave sleep like others craved good coffee or delicious food.

Our protagonists fought on with tiredness and exhaustion, and they prevailed!" Dad yelled victoriously.

"Then there was the child that we shall call Chatterbox who justified his name by asking his poor tired parents the same questions for the millionth time as well as a lot of additional questions. His questioning was so relentless that often he managed to beat our champions.

They were so defeated in the battle, that they would have to resort to the famed 'because I say so' and that was something our main heroine despised to do.

She was always the type of person who wanted to explain things to help others understand, but the cute little guy was too relentless, so the poor mother had to use the strongest weapon she had in her arsenal, 'because I say so weapon." Dad said.

"There is no such weapon, and I am not that talkative. I just like knowing things. And if I am to know things, I have to ask things, then you have to tell me, and that's how one learns. Being just talkative would be exhausting, but I know I am not truly a chatterbox I am just inquisitive. Mom had said so herself.

Besides, I am the only one who was ever interested in thoroughly understanding things and to do so I had to ask questions. Also, when I didn't understand questions, I had to ask for explanations, and that is normal..." Chatterbox said.

"I rest my case." Dad interrupted with a huge grin.

I couldn't help but giggle since Chatterbox's lengthy interruption only served to prove dad's point.

"As I was saying, quite a talkative child but the worst was when he scared his cousin Von Dec so much that he couldn't sleep for a long time. He did it by explaining in detail how a person could die and how painful it could be.

Our heroes had to apologize to the whole family profusely and to try to persuade the little guy that mice won't come and eat his nose as Chatterbox told him. According to him, anything you could imagine could happen, and since he could imagine nose munching mice he was convinced they were real." Dad said.

"I am still not sure they aren't real," Chatterbox mumbled.

"However, that wasn't when the woes of our characters ended, oh no. Even the most peaceful child of them all, amply named Peace, managed to pose a challenge for the two wonderful parents.

Unlike his twin, Peace refused any contact with beings outside his family. Whenever someone came to the house, he would go to his room and wouldn't come out until they left.

It didn't matter if he was hungry or thirsty, he refused to come out and face what he thought of as strangers. It was as if they were a disease he was trying to escape.

Then there was, of course, the time when one of the children visiting with his parents got loose in the house and bounded towards Peace's room, and Peace jumped through his window onto nearby tree almost hurting himself just to escape the unwanted company." Dad said.

"I didn't know what else to do! How to behave with a child." Peace said, blushing.

"Yes, yes understandable. After all, all beings are unpredictable. Take for example Mischief and how much trouble she brought to the peaceful home our heroes created.

I still remember the time when she put snails in our heroes and her father's bed knowing fully well how..." Dad started to say.

"Terrified of snails he is!" We finished as one.

"How much he dislikes their slimy presence.

Never had he been able to wash away the slime from those sheets, they had to be thrown out." Dad said.

"It's also important to mention that her mischievous action had also created trouble for her. All the land fondly remembers the time when she got stuck in the river of mud she had created using some bad human spells. The funniest sight all the worlds have ever seen." Dad said.

"I didn't find it funny." Mischief said, suppressing a grin.

"Of course not, you were covered in mud from head to toe, the only white thing on you were your teeth," Chatterbox said.

That was when we all started laughing at all the crazy things we had done, and that's how dad's tale of 'Parenting woes' ended.

I better be off, I have another event to get ready for. Until next time.

Love, Joy