Hope (Tyrelliot)

Chapter 15: Darlene

Elliot's POV

I walk upstairs.
Our rooms are basically next to each other.
I knock on Darlene's door.
I hear hip-hop music playing in her room.
She opens it.
"What do you want, dickhead?"
She looks tired.
She has massive bags under her eyes.
Her hair is all messed up too.
"I-I'm sorry.."
"For what?"
She sounds annoyed.
"U-uh... F-for the cafeteria thing yesterday...."
I look on the ground.
She's not saying anything.
I look back up to her.
She still looks annoyed.
She isn't making this any easier for me right now.
"Okay, I forgive you, now what?"
I'm relieved, but at the same time I don't think she actually forgives me.
"Thank you..."
"Yeah yeah, you're welcome and all that crap" she answers, sounding very disinterested.
"You can go now."
She closes the door slowly.
I can't really say I feel any better after that to be honest.
"Did you sleep?"
"What?"
"Have you slept at all in the last few days?"
She takes a while to answer.
"How about 'none of your fucking business?' "
She didn't sleep. She's not doing good.
"I thought I'd ask, since you seem tired and all messed up at the moment! Sorry for worrying and carrying about you!"
I hate it when people do that.
Every time I show any sign of affection the other person pushes me away one way or another.
Shayla and Leon are an example too;
They made fun of something that is possibly important to me.
They made me feel bad.
They made me feel that I have to distance myself from them.
It's as if they're pulling a door with a sign that says 'push' on it.
I look down.
I want to go back to my room, lock it and never come out again.
Darlene opens her door all of a sudden.
She looks down, seemingly not knowing what to say.
"Great, now I'm sorry..." she mutters.
I look at her.
She's smiling a little.
"It's okay."
"And to answer your question, yes, I didn't sleep very well."
I nod.
"Why, what happened?"
She looks me in the eyes.
"Wow, since when are you so interested in my life?"
I shrug.
"Since now, I guess."
She chuckles a bit.
"Okay, if you really want to know...
I met a girl and we've been texting each other all night."
She blushes a little.
I do a half-smile.
"Okay..."
She gesticulates with her hands, trying to find the right words.
"Y-Y'know, it's that special kind of... 'Friendship'..."
I don't really know what to say.
She seems happy about it and I don't want to make it bad.
I just nod.
"Like, y'know what I mean.. Love and stuff..."
"Yeah..."
She seems a little confused.
"You're not, like, angry about it?"
"No, why would I be?"
I don't understand the question.
Why would you hate something you didn't make any experience with?
Although....
No. I'm going to delete that thought out of my brain.
I've seen him over the entire day, he doesn't need to invade my brain now too.
Darlene sighs in relief.
"Oh thank god! Well, consider this my coming out then!"
She laughs.
I chuckle a little.
"You're actually the first person to know, that's why I was so um... nervous.."
"It's okay, really," I say, "I couldn't care less!"
She chuckles too.
"Hey, why don't you come in and we talk about each other? We haven't done that in over a year."
I didn't expect her to ask that.
But I really appreciate that she did.
I'm positively surprised.
"Sure."
She smiles and let's me in.
Her walls are full of posters, pictures, drawings and paintings.
Her furniture is mostly black or dark brown.
All warm colours to me.
She sits down on her bed and pats the spot next to her, telling me to sit there.
I do so.
"So, um.... Do you have anything going on that you'd like to talk about?"
Should I tell her?
She could think that I'm a freak.
"You go first."
"Okay..."
She crosses her legs, so she faces me.
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for always being so hard on you. I don't really know why I do this and I wanted to stop for some time now..."
I'm listening intensely.
"But for some reason I don't feel so good... Maybe it's stress or anxiety?"
"I don't really know, but I forgive you if that's what you're asking for."
Her eyes light up for a second.
She exhales in relief.
"Thank you so much!"
I nod.
"Okay, now it's your turn!"
"Are you sure that's all you wanted to say?"
I'm still not sure if I want to tell her or not. I'm embarrassed and a little scared.
"You don't have to say it if you don't want to.."
"No no, I want to."
There's no going back now.
I have to tell her.
"Okay, what is it?"
"I-I, um...."