empathy (rewritten 2019)

chapter ten

Shortly after Sakura talked of another genin training her, Kakashi met said training genin. After a mission out of the village, Keiko waited by the gates as the four of them strolled in. Sakura squealed and ran towards the older nin, arms outstretched, before they clashed together in a tight hug.

"Sakura! I missed you," Keiko said as they pulled apart. "How'd it go?"

"Pretty good, during breaks I practiced with those needles you gave me," Sakura said. "I almost threw one at Naruto because he scared me, but, I'm getting pretty good."

"Nice, reflexes kicking in," Keiko said, ruffling the shorter girl's hair. "Okay, I'll drop you off so you can clean up and then we can go eat at--"

"Sakura, care to introduce us to your friend?" Kakashi said, walking over with Naruto and Sasuke in tow. Kakashi looked at the older girl's form, the pads wrapped around her biceps and legs, and made the simple connection that this genin, only a few years older than Sakura, took the liberty of teaching his student. "I assume she's the genin you said lent you that book? The one who seems to be training you instead of me?"

Sakura swallowed and nodded. "Kakashi-sensei, this is Keiko. Keiko, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi assessed the genin up and down. She was of the average height, size and build expected of her age. And just as Sakura told him before, she was a new face around town.

Keiko bowed. "Kakashi. I apologize if my training Sakura has overstepped. You are a man of excellent status, and I'd hate to tarnish that."

Kakashi looked at how Sakura had been faring lately, and had to admit that there was a distinct improvement from her initial physique. But he couldn't claim the credit himself; no, this genin just had to offer some training lessons on the corner of the street. "No, no, it's fine. Your training has really helped Sakura with these missions."

Kakashi offered a little bow of his and walked off, telling Sakura that the boys and me would deliver the report and she could hang out with your friend there. Sakura turned and returned Keiko's mischievous smile.

"Wow, I didn't think that would work. My acting really paid off," Keiko laughed. "To think all it took from making this man's top blow off was just a suck-up."

Sakura grinned and together, they walked off.

...---...

Keiko always liked undermining Kakashi when Sakura was a genin. Their relationship was as conniving strangers; never seeing their faces but always aware of their presence. Kakashi scoffed when Sakura brought out the newest copy of the Bingo Book, just days after its release, or when she used her sebon needles during training on the kunai target. Keiko laughed whenever Sakura came back from training, rambling on about Kakashi's eye rolls and mumbled 'no one asked for you to train her, keiko's under his breath.

But then Sakura was gone and there was no middle between them now. Keiko saw him more often than not, as he walked back from the market with a basket of fruit and vegetables or him resting out his apartment window as he watered Mr. Ukki. Yet still, they never acknowledged each other.

Until after Sakura's funeral, Kakashi was visiting the Memorial Stone and he saw Keiko there, already with a handful of flowers. Yellow, unlike the fragile pink they scattered around her death.

The Hokage, after her funeral, had Sakura's name etched into the bottom of the rock, one of the many soldiers who perished. Some questioned her name on the stone; she, unlike the others' names, didn't die during the war. She only died on some simple mission, they said. But there must be some privilege in being one of the Hokage's friends, they continued.

He sat down next to her. "Keiko. Nice to see you here."

She breathed hard and stared forward at the words. But she managed a smile as she turned to him. "Hatake-san."

Keiko knew the majority of the Rookie Nine--hell, the entire village--couldn't put a finger as to why Sakura died. It was a simple mission and she should have gotten home alive. So, staring at Kakashi, she brushed him off, bunching him up with the rest of the majority.

But then he leaned back and said, "Look, I--I know that, I know it's hard...But I'm here for you," he said. "And I just wanted to say to you, and--and, to her, too--I'm really, really sorry."

"What do you mean?" She pulled on the grass blades, wiping the morning dew off of them.

"I didn't want Sakura to feel weak," He said. "I just--I really wanted to make her happy, I really did. And when Sasuke started talking about leaving, I-I knew it would hurt her, hurt everyone, so I taught him that jutsu. I just thought it would keep him from leaving. And when he left, I didn't know what to do. It just broke her heart. And she just fell deeper."

Keiko sighed again and looked up. "I'm tired of everyone thinking that...boy was always on her mind," she said, before looking back at him. "But you knew? You knew she felt this way, that she felt so weak, but you still--you didn't even bother to tell the team? To tell her friends?"

Kakashi was her sensei. He should have known Sakura's worth. He should have known she was worthy. But the moment Sasuke left, the moment Naruto followed suit, and the moment Kakashi couldn't offer a single word to his own student--it proved his hesitance.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do," Kakashi said, scoffing at himself. "I spent my entire life on the force and I forgot how to treat someone like they're a human. I can see now...that's why we broke apart then."

But he wasn't the only one who failed. And Keiko knew that, so she, closing her eyes and letting her heart hurt, rested a hand on his shaking shoulders. "It's okay."

And then Keiko, for the first time in a while, looked back. She recalled memories upon memories of her, training Sakura, making her laugh, making her feel worthwhile. She remembered her missions, leaving Sakura behind and hoping she could live through the toughest ones to see her again, and she remembered Sakura leaving the gates for her own missions, hoping for her safe return.

Sakura always needed Keiko by her side. And that's why she made Keiko promise her to always come back after a mission. To live for her.

But Keiko needed Sakura too. And the one time she forgot to make Sakura promise, Sakura forgot to look for any reasons to live--even if one of them was her.