empathy (rewritten 2019)

chapter nineteen

Keiko, when it came to Sakura, was desperately selfish. She was weak to bonds and friendship and attachments, especially after her family burned to the ground. And Sakura, being the first person Keiko had bumped into upon entering the Leaf, was another bond that Keiko couldn't live to lose. And now that she was gone, Keiko was, again, the child staring at the scorching red village gates, trying to reach past the flames for a last goodbye.

And she had tried so hard, so selfishly, to avoid another grave.

Keiko's attempt to keep a doomed flower alive began with Sasuke. She believed the boy would hinder Sakura's potential, keeping her from living an unburdened life of attraction and unrequited love. It progressed on to Tsunade, when she returned to the Leaf after the invasion during the Chunin Exams. Sakura needed a purpose, something to keep her busy, to avoid feeling lonely and abandoned once Naruto and Sasuke left.

"You don't have an apprentice, do you?" She'd asked one day in the Hokage's office. The woman rolled her eyes and bit back a sigh.

"I'm not looking for a student. I'm sorry, I know you were recently promoted to a chunin, but I'm not taking anyone," Tsunade said, crossing her arms.

"I'm not talking about me. I--You've seen that girl, Sakura? From Team Seven?"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "She's a small girl. Good chakra control, but I doubt she has the determination to--"

"I've trained her ever since she left the Academy. I'm the only one who knows her potential. And I know she needs this," Keiko stared at the blonde with such eagerness.

"Why should I choose her, out of all eligible candidates? I can't trust your judgement. Obviously this apprenticeship means more to you than her. She has yet to contact me herself."

Keiko racked her brain for a response. Sakura was a budding genin; she barely had the experience or the background to study medical ninjutsu and she, out of all the possible candidates, was the one born of a civilian family. She had no connections, no fame or clan honour to even be considered a choice.

But Keiko still wouldn't take a no for an answer. Sasuke would leave no matter what, and Naruto, without his friend, would run off to who knows where with that Sannin. Naruto wouldn't come back without Sasuke and neither would the Uchiha without his revenge. And so, Sakura would be left at Konoha, just a failed genin who knocked out of the Chunin Exams during a prelim match. And Keiko knew, knew so well, what kind of short life that would lead.

Sakura needed something that would remind her she was useful. That she was needed. And, obviously, the Team Seven field was not fulfilling that spot, as proven once the team would disband altogether.

And Keiko looked at the Sannin, desperate and all. "She's just like you, you know? Abandoned by her teammates. Sasuke Uchiha will leave the Leaf for power no matter what. And Naruto Uzumaki, determined to prove himself to his rival, will leave with Jiraiya as well. Sakura will be left behind with no mentor to teach her." Keiko continued. "And honestly, I'm still not knowledgeable enough to teach her what she deserves. But you are."

It was a far reach. A Sannin, taking a mere civilian girl who couldn't get past a simple match, for an apprenticeship? Tsunade wouldn't even think it over. But this time she did.

And that was why, when Sakura stalked over to the tower, begging for a mentor, Tsunade said yes.

And, in retrospect, maybe that attempt did save Keiko a few years. But ultimately it never paid for a life. Sakura, after two years of training, never used a single jutsu, never made a single attempt during the twelve hours of her death to save her own damn life.