empathy (rewritten 2019)

chapter twenty

After the famous rivals left the village in pursuit of their own power, the rest of the Rookie Nine followed suit in training to their highest potential. The absence of the blonde's loud declarations and of the Uchiha's broodiness mellowed the village down into a peaceful interlude, as though time were only passing through with no definitive destination in mind.

The Fifth Hokage appointed a civilian genin as her apprentice and that, in of itself, was a shocker--one that only lasted for a few days before blending into oh civilian girl who? what again? hmm and blissful silence. And the genin, though joyous of her new training, was overwhelmed with the sudden pressure of it all; she had to prove her worth as an under-experienced genin from a civilian family.

But the training was tough. While she improved her ninjutsu skills, she also had to toughen up her physique. But her weekly training sessions with Keiko were put to an end once Keiko enlisted for the Jounin Exams. The exams were offered for any Chunin who wished to climb the rankings but had no favor of the Hokage. The exam took two weeks for the twenty-one candidates to narrow down to a special seven, and Keiko, after months of training, was in seventh place. Within one week, she was booted off for a long-term mission and could only offer Sakura a quick, sad goodbye.

She was alone for now. But she was running and jumping and growing and punching, healing and killing and living at an exponential rate but why couldn't anyone see? People were there, yes, for her lowest falls of cutting her hair and crying for help, but the moment she needed some justification to keep on trying, Sasuke had to leave and Naruto had to follow and everyone had to abandon her. And Keiko, the one she trusted to stick to her like glue, left of her own doing (Keiko said, "Now that I'm a chunin, I feel like moving up the ranks, ya know? Maybe I can get in charge of stuff, like, to prevent more attacks, right?" and Sakura said, "Why don't you take the Jounin Exams already? You've been training for a long time."). Even then, Keiko, out of the handful of familiars Sakura knew, was the one she wanted to make proud the most.

"Clear your head, Sakura," Tsunade reminded her. "Naruto and your friend will come back from their missions soon."

And that, too, bothered her. As a parting gift, Naruto left her with a wave and the loud promise--I'll bring back Sasuke for you, Sakura! Don't you worry!--by the red gates. And she could hear the town sigh as Naruto left for a girl, promised for a girl, and loved for a sad little dame who was too weak to hold her own ground--but then again, she was overthinking again, and Sakura, to the town, was another civilian girl who didn't matter.

But, most of the time, she wanted to matter.

Keiko did come back. They had their training practices by the river, where Sakura would show the jounin what she'd learned over the year. And Keiko, in return, would tell stories of the kind of lives she saw by the shore.

And Naruto did come back. As did the rest of the Rookie Nine. But even then, while each genin brandished the new jutsu and moves and weapons they'd learned and used over the years, nobody thought to ask Sakura--oh, hey! How's Naruto? Still bummed over Sasuke, huh? Hey, aren't you still a genin?--what she had learned.

And maybe, through all these years of not mattering to most, she wondered if in death, she would matter at all to them too. She had her answer now.