empathy (rewritten 2019)

chapter fourteen

The Chunin Exams carried on. While Sakura was busy cutting her hair and tormenting herself over her own weakness, Keiko was wide away by the stream keeping watch the entire time. The remains of Keiko's team finished somewhere in the top twenties, while Team Seven rolled in by the forties.

Five days later, the remaining teams were gathered before the Hokage. The Third's crinkled eyes gazed upon the crowd before him--full of young, naive faces--and amongst them saw the girl he pitied--tired and full of guilt. He'd mournfully broken the news to her just a week before the Chunin Exams, telling her, you should withhold from the Exams. You're not in the right mental state right now. He would have waited until after, but then she would have missed the funeral.

The Third moved past her lost gaze and her temple, still drizzled with blood, to the other candidates.

Hayate Gekko, the instructor, coughed and said, "Apparently, there are an abundance of candidates that have passed the First Round, so, we will be holding a Preliminary Round before the final to narrow down the list," he said and ignored the faces of the genin. "Any of you that want to drop out from continuing, raise your hand. You team will not be disqualified with you."

Two hands shot in the air, the first one unashamed, and the second wavering.

Kabuto Yakushi left the building with a brazen walk and a candid smile on his face, promising to return an eight time. And Keiko looked to her side to find Tamariki, shaking, raise her hand. She offered no explanation and left.

Hayate clapped and the preliminary round began; setting kid against kid against each other. Keiko's name was drawn during the first few battles. It took ten minutes and a sebon needle to knock her opponent out. Upon being picked, Sakura drifted past her on her way down to Ino. The fight took fifteen more minutes and a double knock-out, and because she failed, she went up the other way.

...---...

The final exam was in a month and Sakura was still hesitant to talk to Keiko again. By now, the reason for their separation was blurred at the lines. But she'd told Keiko she was better off without her, something she couldn't prove if she went back and apologized. So she stayed far.

A week after the preliminary round she found Kakashi at the dango shop. She greeted him and he nodded back, returning to his book. And he watched, eyes narrow, as she pulled up a chair to talk. He sighed and set his book down. "How's training, Sakura?"

"Going...good," she said, pausing.

"I haven't seen you around with that--that friend of yours, Keiko?" Kakashi's eye(s) narrowed further. "And you usually train with her at this time, right?"

Sakura nodded. "Well, we're just taking a break from each other at the moment."

Kakashi breathed through his teeth and picked his book up again, flipping the page. "Well, I would assume that a rough patch wouldn't stop you from wanting to prepare for the next Chunin Exams," he said. "I mean, I'm sure you'd need the training."

She nodded along and nibbled on her dango. For a while, they sat in uncomfortable silence, until Sakura thought hard--what was her training without Keiko? With Keiko, they'd train together, test each other, and even spar against the other. But now, Sakura was stuck with some dumb tree at a different Training Ground because she was too much of a coward to face her only friend.

Coward--a nice relative to the word useless, and it made her wonder. What was she now? What was she worth? After what happened during the prelims, am I even worthy of being a chunin? She looked at Kakashi, the young jounin. "Kakashi, do you think I'm weak? Like, too weak to be a shinobi?"

He paused and set the book down again. The narrows of his eyes softened and he gazed down upon the genin with feigned benevolence, like a parent to a child. He said, "Everyone's strong in their own way. And being strong is a process. You may not be enough now, but if you keep it up, maybe in the future you will be."

"Really?" She said. Maybe she could go on without Keiko. Maybe this was a good thing.

Kakashi looked back at his book. "All you need's a little push. I'm giving Sasuke that push, the Sannin is giving Naruto that push--I mean, why else would Keiko train you?"

He flipped the page and let her leave in the corner of his eye.