Short Stories | Sean x Kaycee

Redamancy

n. the act of loving in return; a love returned in full

*****

Already got the last boxes I had at the apartment. Also left the key on the bowl.

I'm sorry for everything, Sean.

He could feel the muscles on his jaw tighten, hearing his teeth grinding against each other as he read the text message over and over again, wishing he was just hallucinating it. But no; it was all real. The last act, the conclusion, the last scene of this chapter in his life.

He felt he was suffocating. He tried to focus on his breaths, refusing the tears from falling and willing himself not to break down in public. Of all that was happening between him and his family, this was the cherry on top.

Fuck this life, he thought.

A yellow bus skidded into a halt in front of the bus stop, the machine sound of its doors opening pulled him out of his thoughts. He sighed as he patiently fell into the line of passengers boarding the bus, adjusting the heavy backpack on his shoulder and pulling his beanie over his ears.

He was more than grateful to find an open seat near the window third from the last row; the blur from the outside as the bus travels actually soothes him and helps him think clearly. But this time, he wasn't sure if it would still be the same; even the gloomy weather was one with his thoughts and emotions. He leaned his elbow on the sill and bit on his thumb as the bus started to pull from the stop, and he started to get lost in his thoughts.

Sean had always loved visiting home, but only because of his mother who would always welcome him, hear his stories and problems and cook him his favourite food. He always made sure he comes home when his father wasn't there; but it was just his luck that in the middle of lunch, his dad came. He completely lost his appetite; he didn't even get to a third bite.

It was another round of him taking verbal abuse, another round of him losing his temper, another round of them yelling at each other, and another round of his father sending him away.

You're a disgrace!

Why aren't you like your sisters?

Film will not put food on your table!

Dating and living with an American woman!

Well, Sean thought. News flash, dad. That American woman already left me. Happy?

And he could feel his stomach churn as he was reminded of the fact that his girlfriend of five years left him. He could feel his chest tighten again, knowing that when he comes home to his apartment in the city, it would be devoid of her things. It would be devoid of his girlfriend's presence.

Oh. Ex-girlfriend. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

It still felt unreal, his heart and mind refusing to reconcile to the thought fully. He guessed when he comes home and be confronted with the emptiness of his apartment, he would then fully accept that she was already out of his life.

Lost in thoughts, he paid no mind as the bus doors opened to let in a couple of passengers – a mother with a giggly baby in a carrier and a woman. Sean's attention was caught by the giggling baby; it was unusually irritating him, most likely because of his overall sour mood and affect, and he was internally yelling for the baby to shut up.

The other woman was still looking for an empty seat, when she found an open one by the back, beside an Asian boy. She smiled as she made her way over to him.