The Lion and the Warrior

Letting Go

Brienne was so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open. Her body ached and her mind was drained. Even after the bear pit, she was in less pain. This morning, they were to bury their daughter, but she wouldn't be able to go. There was no way she was going to make it down that staircase, she could barely sit upright.

"I'll go. One of us should be there."

"I'm her mother. I need to be there," she said quietly.

"No, you don't. When you feel better, I'll take you down to the crypt."

"The crypt. Do you know how awful that sounds? I know this will be hard for you. I want to be there with you. I really want to be there with you." She looked at him with pain and sadness in her eyes.

"Listen. I don't want to do this without you. I don't want to do this at all. I'll be back as soon as I can to help with James," he said.

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Jai..." her voice cracked.

"What is it?"

She took a moment to pull herself together, "I love you. I love our babies. I can't do any of this without you. "

"I will be right back. I promise. I love you." He kissed her lips and left the room, but came right back.

"Brienne?"

"Yes, Jaime?"

"You'll never have to go through this alone. Not this...not anything."

The staircase seemed miles long. His legs became heavier and heavier with every step. Tears filled his eyes and his heart broke again and again. He wanted so badly for his eyes not to overflow, but he couldn't stop the tears. He leaned against the wall, slowly slid down and sat at the bottom of the stairs and cried. He was in pain, his wife was in pain, and all he wanted to do was take this unbearable feeling away from her. He was powerless. For the first time in his life, he wasn't able to fight against the enemy. This enemy was heart ache; and there was nothing that could beat it.

Finally, he forced himself to go down to the Lannister Family Crypt with the maester for prayers and burial of their baby girl. It was cold and dark. Torches on the wall barely lit the way. The air was damp and the smell was musty. He was glad that Brienne wasn't there to see and feel the things he was experiencing. This was no place for a baby - not their beautiful Saphira.

Jaime couldn't concentrate on the words that Maester Berron spoke. He took note of his mother's tomb. The beautiful Joanna Lannister. Her hair was long, wavy, and gold. Her eyes were emerald green and her skin was pale. He could sometimes barely remember her, but today, it felt as though she were standing there next to him, wrapping her arms around him. Instead of hearing the maester's prayer, he could hear her voice. "My sweet boy. Your heart will heal. You sometimes have to break to become whole."

Saphira's tomb was sealed. An emptiness consumed him. Everything was final now and he would never see his little girl again. He needed a few more minutes. He didn't know she was coming into this world, but when he laid eyes on her, he was instantly in love.

It was time to get back to Brienne and James. "Good bye, baby girl...my Saphira. Your mother created that name for you. She says I saved her with Sapphires. And that's why she chose that name. We are the two greatest warriors in all of Westeros. We both saved so many people. But we couldn't save you. I am so sorry for that. I am so sorry. I will never stop thinking of you. And I will never stop loving you."

Jaime rushed out of the crypt and back up to his little family. Brienne was asleep, lying on her side with James lying next to her, and her arm around him. Jaime stood at the door and just watched for a few minutes. It was like falling in love with them all over again, and a smile slowly crept across his face.

They were never going to forget their little girl. It was just so hard to letting her go.

Podrick sat on a chair in the corner of the room, keeping a watchful eye on his friend and her new baby.

"Ser Jaime," Podrick whispered as he stood.

"Podrick. Thank you for staying with Brienne and James."

"She was exhausted Ser Jamie. She was a bit restless and uncomfortable and finally, she fell asleep. I think she's having a dream. Can't say about what."

"This is a nightmare."

"I couldn't imagine what you both feel. One look at James, and even I am in love," he smiled.

"He is rather amazing, isn't he?"

"He is. I think perhaps I will go in the morning. I will come say goodbye and see the baby in the morning and head back to King's Landing. I'm sorry for all that's happened."

"Thank you for coming all this way. I know she was happy to see you. I was happy to see you. I hope we see each other again soon."

"As do I, Ser Jaime."