The Lion and the Warrior

Grief

Dany rang the bells for hours the morning Jon died. She felt alone and empty and no matter how hard she tried to tell herself that her life was still full with Rhaella and Rhaedyn and all of her family of friends, she felt hollow.

James tried his best to help Rhaella but she locked herself up in their apartment for most of the day. He knocked on the bedroom door every hour and there was no answer. Finally after his seventh attempt, he found the door unlocked and finally was able to go to her.

The door creaked as he slowly opened it and spotted her standing by the window. "Rhae? Can I come in?"

She nodded a 'yes' without speaking or looking in his direction. She just kept staring out the window. He went to her, and it was obvious she had been crying for hours. Her face was red and swollen, her eyes were blood shot. Her lips looked beautiful, all red and swollen. Even her nose was cute in its rosy state. He wanted to kiss her, but he simply took her hand in his and stroked the top of it with his thumb. James looked into her eyes, "I don't know what to say, love. I could say...a hundred different things...a million different things and not one of them would help you. All I can do is be here with you. And I will not leave you alone unless you want me to. I am here for you, now and always. I always have been."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly turned away from him. "Rhaella...please don't steel your heart against me. I know you're hurting." James slid his arms around her waist and pressed his body to hers. "Let me help you. Talk to me when you're ready, and I will listen. I will listen for hours, for days, for weeks, forever if you need me to. There is nothing I will not do to help you."

"Go wake him up."

"I'm afraid we both know that is the one thing I cannot do. But I want him back. The gods know how badly I want him back...for all of us."

"Are you afraid?" She asked turning to him.

He paused for a moment. No secrets. Not now. Not ever. He remembered. They were only seven but since that day, there were never, ever, any secrets between them.

He answered, "Yes."

"He said to me that if I wasn't ready...the gods would not take him. I am not ready for him to leave this world. I am not ready for a day where I can't speak to him, and laugh with him, or catch him giving Rhaedyn and the twins cake before dinner. I am not ready for him to not tell me goodnight...tonight and every single night of my life," she said through tears.

James held her close, "I am afraid. And I am not ready for him to leave us. I love him as though he were my own father. He taught us well. He taught us to be good people. Strong, kind, loving...he taught us to be smart like him."

"What if he wasn't finished teaching?"

"Oh, my darling," he lifted her chin, "we could all live a thousand years and he would never be finished teaching us. Because we are never finished learning. He taught us that. Every single day that you live, there is something new to learn. We have each other and we will help each other. One of the most important things King Jon taught us was to listen, be open to learn about all new things and different ways to do things. Shut nothing down until we think it through. We can honor him if we remember how taught us to be. He will always be with us."

"I'm afraid too. I know we are ready. And I have you, and together we have so many people who love us. We have to start teaching Rhaedyn. He is so young."

"Rhae, from the moment you could talk your father was teaching you. And from the moment Rhaedyn could talk, we have all been teaching him and we will have a long, long time to teach him what he needs to know," he moved lose strands of hair that fell on her face. "No worries. No worries about anything. Take care of yourself and let yourself grieve for your dad. Rhaedyn is well cared for."

"I love you so much."

James smiled at her. "I love you, Rhae...more than I could ever tell you."

****

"Bri Bri!"

"Yes Rhaedyn."

"When are they going to stop the bells?"

"Tomorrow, love. Remember daddy told you? The bells are ringing for King Jon."

"Yes, but...I need them to stop now. I am ready for them to stop."

Brienne looked at Jaime for a little help. He stepped in, "Little lion, why would you want them to stop. Don't they sound pretty?"

"Those bells have been ringing so long and so loud, I don't know why he hasn't woke up yet. I want to see him. I want to talk to him. The dragon always wakes up. Always, Papa," he said looking up at Jaime.

Jaime was stuck. He looked at Brienne who was sitting by the fire with tears in her eyes. How can the gods be so fucking cruel?

"Papa...can't you take me to see him? Please? Maybe Ser Goldenhand the Just can help him?"

Jaime swallowed hard and Brienne went to the window to look out. The twins listened intently.

Jaime knelt down in front of Rhaedyn, "no, baby. I can't. Not this time. Ser Goldenhand...as brave and strong and valiant as Ser Goldenhand is...even he can't wake the king. The gods have decided they need King Jon now. So we can't wake him."

"Did the Kingslayer get him?"

The word struck him to his core, coming from the mouth of his three-year-old grandson. He was breathless, "What?" Jaime looked into his eyes and felt tears streaming down his cheeks before he even realized that his eyes were tearing. He couldn't answer the boy right away. Brienne buried her face in her hands and silently sobbed. The twins didn't notice. Rhaedyn wiped the tears from Jaime's cheeks with his little hand. Jaime tried to continue, "No, I..."

"Jai!" Brienne managed to get out quickly.

Jaime corrected himself immediately, "No. The Kingslayer didn't get him."

"I just want to see King Jon. Just one more time. For just one more minute. And then I will be good, and I promise I won't ask you again. I won't ask anybody again. Can you please, just, please one more time papa? Bri Bri..." Rhaedyn was broken hearted, and so were Jaime and Brienne. When Rhaedyn began to cry, Bryce went to hug him, and Broox followed.

The four-year-old twins loved their "tiny uncle" and wanted to help.

Bryce said, "don't cry Rhaedyn. It's okay."

Broox added, "our daddy is your papa too, and he loves you."

Jaime took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face and through his hair. Oh seven fucking hells. Please gods make this easier.

Brienne went to him, but he held his hand up. It startled her, for he had never pushed her away. He reached for her hand and pulled her into the next room. "I am sorry," he said in a hurried whisper, "I am so, so sorry. I need you, gods know I need to be in your arms, Brienne," he said through his clenched teeth.

She searched his emerald green eyes and her heart broke into a thousand pieces. Jaime continued, "if I let you...if I give in...I can't break right now. I can't. And I can't do this without you, fuck I can't do it."

"Yes. We have to. We will. We are. I am torn to shreds inside, and I need you too. I believe my skin is the only thing holding me together in one fucking piece," she began to cry, "and I need you too. I need you to help me, I need you to be the lion they see you as. I need you to be the lion I see."

"When did we become so emotional?" He asked.

"The first time we made love."

Jaime kissed his wife and walked back out to the main part of the room. "What do you say, we make a tent? Do you want to play a game?"

The three boys cheered, "Yes! We can play knights!"

"We can play anything you want," Brienne said, "how about we set up the tent right here in the middle of the room, and we can camp like the soldiers?"

"Okay! And Rhaedyn, you can sleep here with us tonight in mommy and daddy's room!" Bryce said.

"Okay!" he agreed, happily.