before mimi

work

"he doesnt deserve you...you are mine Tina" the man said with his hands wrapped tightly  around my arm. I couldnt recognize his face, but it looked so familiar.  I shut my eyes to try to block him out but he slammed is crusty lips on mine as he held me in place.

what the hell was happening and who was this guy? i kicked him to get him off of me but I couldnt break free, 

"you little bitch" he spat at me and his hand moved to my neck lifting me in the air. 

"please stop!!" i cried gasping for air. Before I knew it he slammed me against the wall, my head taking most of the blow. I could feel everything getting hot and this liquid falling down my neck. I couldnt scream, I couldnt move but I could feel the tears streaming down my eyes. 

Before I knew it I was staring at the ceiling. Back in the house. That familiar boulder arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me to him. 

"what were you dreaming about?" he whispered softly as he softly kissed my temple. I took a deep breath. That felt so real. 

"this man...he told me I was his but he slammed my head against the wall and choked me out for dear life." I said exhausted. It just felt so real, like it had happened before.

"T, Allen did that to you years ago when he broke into the apartment" ben said now sitting up staring me in the face.

"what?!" I gasped not believing what he just said. So thats exactly how I ended up in that hospital. The dream was just so vivid, i wonder why i didnt see his face.

"but..but I dont remember that happening and I didnt even see the mans face" I said trying to process this.

"im surprised you are regaining your memory through dreams. And I know how vivid your dreams can get" he said sympathetically as he rubbed circles in my back. When the attack happened i had literally blacked out. I couldnt remember most of that new apartment or anything that happened in it. I honestly didnt even remember moving in there. Its like a large part of my memory had just been washed away.

Ill never forget Bens face when I opened my eyes in the hospital, this mix of fear, happiness, confusion. I couldnt imagine what he went through staring at my body not knowing if i would wake up.

"im sorry" I whispered to him as i stroked the stubble on his face.

"why?"

"i cant imagine how you felt staring at me all that time in the hospital" I said now looking him in the eyes. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"you are here with me now, thats all that matters" he said in his soft voice.

There was a long pause of us just staring at each other. we have started to do this more often. there are such a mix of emotions when i look at this man.

"what time is it?" i asked yawning getting comfortable under the covers again.

"4:50 am" he said picking up  his phone briefly. 

"you only have another hour" i said adjusting my body to the bed.

Ben gets up 10 minutes before 6 every day. If Gray is up he will take it upon himself to feed him and get him ready. Hes out of the door by 7 am and I usually catch him around 645. 

"honestly i wasnt even sleeping" he said stretching himself out staring at the ceiling.

"when did you wake up?"

"been up since two, just watching you sleep." He admitted now turning to me. I blushed in embarrassment, im an ugly sleeper. Ive started slobbering more, i fart all the time, and I cant imagine the crazy faces I make while I have the most ridiculous dreams.