So today marked five months that me and Cheryl had been together so i was currently inside her house only known to Alice and Betty making her pancakes so i could serve her breakfast in bed. i had a teddy bear that was holding a heart as i walked into her room putting the food down on her bedside table, this was the first time i had been i her room it was nice and clean, very Cheryl Blossom, i bent down over her and started to kiss her jawline and she started to wake up "toni?" " yeah cutie, happy five months" i say and she smiles stretching "happy five months TT" she says and i hand her the bear and pancakes "you know i don't think our relationship would have lasted as long with out pancakes" i joke and she laughs.
After a while we got up and went out for a drive to listen to some music, one of our favorite ways to spend time together. after a while we ended up at our spot by sweet water river, its pretty much our favorite thing to do but we kept it to our self so it would be our spot just for us, infact we had really been focusing on us these last few months. riverdale high wasn't going back till after summer, wasn't really looking forward to school going back because i was having the best time with cher. "babe can we talk" she says pulling me out of my thoughts, i look at her "yeah, what about" and the tears start "cher" and the next thing i know she's sat against a tree with her head in her hands and part of me thinks she's going to break up with me "Cheryl babe whats up" i say as i walk over putting my hand on her back to rub it " i i don't even know how to tell you this" i can feel the tears in my eyes but i hold them back trying to be strong for the two of us, once she collects her self she looks up "d-do you remember what Archie said" "what, when?" i say confused" "when we first got together at camp" and suddenly i realise what shes going to tell me, this is the thing we've talked about but she has never reviled what it really was, i have absolutely no idea what shes going to say "yeah" " the thing that holds me back that holds us back" "babe you don't have to if you don't-" "no i-i cant hide from this anymore i cant keep it from you any longer its killing me" she starts says letting out a sob "its haunted me for so long holding me back....i-i was almost raped at the lodges open house. his name was Nick, Nick Saintclaire, he roofied me and took me to his hotel room...." as i hear the words my heart breaks "if it wasn't for veronica and the pussy cats h-he would" she starts to sob again at the memory and i look at her and think, she looks so small curled up in a ball on the ground as she breaks her heart, how could anyone do this to her how, how could anyone so this to someone so.. fragile so vulnerable, i think as i jump back into reality when she starts to talk again "after that i try'd to commit suicide" and that's when i feel like someone has shot me with a bullet, right threw the heart and i cant hold back my sobs anymore as i take my jacket off and wrap it round her before wrapping my arms around her tiny little body, my mind is going a mile a minute i am so angry i am so sad im so caught up in my thoughts i don't realise Cheryl pull to look at me "toni say something.. please" i look at her tears running down my face "i. i love you" it just slips out, I've always knew i loved her "i love you so much Cheryl" i say as i put my hands on her face "i love you to Toni" and she smiles with tears in her eyes and i pull her in for the most passionate, gentle love filled kiss we've ever shared, i know we're upset with some seriously overwhelming emotions but these were the most genuine 'i love yous ever' i think as i pull away to look in her eyes "I've always loved you Cheryl from the minute i say you i knew i loved you, you are the most strongest, most gorgeous, most special person to me" i say and mean every single word "i couldn't have gotten any luckier with you Toni Topaz" she says as she leans in for another kiss before laying in my arms and cuddling into my chest. i have never felt so many emotions at once. as we sit i feel her breathing slow and i know she's asleep so i gently pick her up and but her in the car and drive her home carrying her in and laying her on the couch and put a blanket over her before i sit on the chair opposite and just watch her, how, could anyone, look at her, i didn't even realise i was crying until Alice came down stairs "toni, are you okay whe-"she looks at Cheryl sleeping on the couch and then back at me "she's told you, hasn't she" she says sitting across from me "toni, what happened?" Alice asked "i-she, she just told me about some.. some sick in the head person named nick" i say getting angry and the thought "then she said she try'd to commit suicide" i say as my voice breaks along with my heart once more at the thought "Toni, i know its a lot to take in but please, please tell me you handled it please tell me you didn't reject her" "i could never Alice" i say as i look over at her "i-i love her i really really do" "did you tell het that?" "yeah, i didn't know what else to say other than the truth, i love her so much that it hurts, it hurts to see her break her little heart to me and all i could do was hold her like i was trying to hold her together while falling apart myself" at this point words are just falling from my mouth not able to lie or hide my emotion as Alice comes over kneeling in front a me "what if i messed up Alice what if i didn't handle it properly what if-" "Toni there is no good way to handle something like that and she always falls asleep after she tells anyone because its so hard for her that it drains every last bit of energy out of her. listen im going to go out, give yous some space to talk once she wakes up okay but toni if you cant handle it this is the time to back out do not stay and break her heart anymore than it already is" and with that she got up and left out the front door. i sit in silence and think about what Alice said and i don't know much but i do know one thing and that's that Cheryl has handed me her heart and i will do whatever it takes to protect it. i sit for an hour before Cheryl starts to wake up and i go over cautiously "hey" i say not much above a whisper so not to startle her "toni" "yeah babe" "how did we get back here" "i carried you after you feel asleep" i say as she sits up "cher" "yeah" " i do love you, i did really mean everything i said" " me to" "your umm your mum was here and we talked and she told me that if i couldn't do this, if i couldn't deal with this i had to walk away because if i stayed i would only break your heart even more" "toni" "so ive sat here thinking, and do you remember the night that day we all went to the pool at camp" "yeah" "and me and archie were talking about you because he kept checking up on you and telling me i had to be patient with you and i promised him i would be qentle with you and i ment emotionally and physically but you came back without us realising and asked what we were talking about and me and archie being me and archie both said to different thing so late that night you pulled me away to out tent to ask me what we were really talking about i told you that i was wondering what was going on and archie told me it was personal and you would tell me on your own terms and that scared you so much, the idea of me knowing so you broke down in my arms crying and feel asleep and so did i until archie woke me up asking if you were okay and once he left i woke you up and asked you if you wanted to go out and you said no so i went out to give you some space, do you remember" "yeah" " well once i got there they asked where you were and when i told archie i had left you alone he freaked out and run to our tent to make sure you were still there and i had no clue what was going on so about an hour later i came back to the tent to go to bed cause i promised you i wouldn't be out to long and as i sat in bed that night i had no clue what happened or what was going to but i made a promise that night that even if this was a long and slow process i would stick by you through it all, a promise i intended to keep" i say and take her hands in mine " a promise i still intend to keep" and i watched the relief wash over her face " cher i knew back then what i know now that i love you with my hole heart" "toni i used to think you stole my heart but now i realise that you've just been keeping it safe for me this hole time " and i smile "stay here tonight toni, i don't wanna be alone" "as long as i live Cheryl you will never be alone" i say and pull her into my chest and lay down as she lays down on top of me i wrap my arms round her and waited till she feel asleep once again before i decided i was going to have a nap as well.
Once i wake up about a hour later i grab my phone and order Cheryl's favorite Chinese food. Once the door bell goes she wakes up and i get up to go get the food "cher, i ordered your favorite " " can we eat in here" she asks " of course just give me a minute to put it out". Once i put it out i hand a plat to cher and we snuggle up under the blanket once again turning on Brooklyn nine-nine since it always cheered us up. We sat for about an hour when Alice came back "hey you two, everything okay" "yeah mom every things fine" "im glad" "also mom is it okay if toni stays tonight, i umm i don't really what to be alone" "yes it fine you know toni is always welcome here" she says giving us a small smile before going upstairs. we sat and watched tv till ten then we went upstairs to bed.
we lay in bed Cheryl cuddled up in my arms with her head on my boobs "its been a while since we slept in the same room" i said as i qently stroked her arm "i know" "cher i need to tell you something" suddenly feeling guilty "what TT" "remember on the first morning of the camping trip when you woke up and i was looking at you?" "take a picture it'll last longer?" "yeah and you also asked how long i had been up and i said a couple of minute, well i lied i actually woke up at 6:47am and when you asked i looked at the time and it said 7:34am, i was so busy looking at you sleep that i didn't realise that 47 minutes had passed" "what, what were you doing for 43 minutes" she asks laughing "watching you sleep, i never said anything cause i didn't want you to think i was a creep" i say and she bursts out laughing "you're unreal, why are you telling me now?" "because i felt guilty for not being truthful" i say honestly "and this Toni is just once of the many reasons i love you" and i smile "i love you to" and she yawns "night tt" "night cher" i say and kiss her fore head. i wait until she asleep before i go to sleep just to make sure she's okay and i give her one last kiss on the head, today has been emotional but it made me see things more clear, i love Cheryl and always have i just didn't know what that feeling was till now.
