The Misfit [Irwin]

0.8 arrivles&relapses

"Em?"

"NOOO." I yelled. "Come on we have to go." He said to me. "What time is it?" I asked. "6" he replied.

"IN THE MORNING. WHY SO EARLY ASH?" I cringed at myself. Em did you really just call him Ash? Oh my god you loser. He probably hates you now. "Ash?" He furrows his brow at me as I burry my face in the pillow. "I'm sorry it just kinda-" I began in a muffled voice. "No I like it."

"Really?"

"Ya, it cute Em."

I looked up at him finally looking at his eyes and that dopy little smile of his. "We have to go if we are going to get the boys on time." His voice still groggy from waking up only a couple of minutes ago, and if I must say it was extremely hot.

I nodded and got out of the bed and walked over to my closet taking out jeans and a Green Day t-shirt and walked to my bathroom to change. When I got back Ashton had made up my bed. I smiled at him and sat down to put on my makeup.

"You know you don't need that right?" He says watching mean the mirror as I put on my foundation. "I guess I don't." I say as I pull out my eye shadow and began to lay down my base colour. "Then why do you wear it?" I put down my eyeshadow brush and turn to him.

"Here is the thing Ash, I don't wear makeup to impress other people, I wear makeup for myself. It relaxes me when I put it on and I like it." He just smiled back at me with the look a boyfriend would give his girlfriend who just won a Nobel peace prize.

"Hey can you go grab me a drink out of the fridge please?" I ask, he nods and walks out of the room. I quickly grab my foundation pushing up my bracelets and adding some makeup over my faded scars trying not to get it into my newer ones. I pushed my bracelets back down as he walked in the room and handed me a Gatorade. "Thank you."

-

The ride to the airport wasn't that far from my house, but it was so damn early I fell asleep in the car. Thank god Ashton finally got his Florida license because it is to damn early to drive. "Em, we're here." He gently touched my knee to wake me up. I opened my eyes as he turned off the car.

We walked to the terminal and sat down. I couldn't help but shake my leg it's a nervous habit. "Are you okay?" "Ya no I'm fine." I reply quickly. "You don't seem fine." "What if hey don't like me?" I ask him finally finding the courage to look into his eyes. "Em, if I like you then they will like you." He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

We sat there hand in hand for 10 minutes until Ashton got up and pulled me up with him. The gate opened and out came the people. I looked at the faces. Some happy some sad. Some young some old. Some together some alone. I smiled at a little girl who was about 3 when she waved to me.

"ASHTON" I heard screaming and then Ashton dropped my hand and pulled in a boy with bright red hair into a hug. What a bright colour, I wonder how long it lasts. The next boy was smaller yet muscular and very tan. He had very nice tattoos. The next boy was tall, and blond. He seemed to be the only one that noticed me when he moved away from hugging Ashton. "Hello, I'm Luke." He said extending his hand. "Hey I'm Em." I shook his hand but he pulled me into a hug. Then came the brigade of hugs.

Let me take a moment to tell you that I am the most awkward hugger in the world. I'm that friend that when you are crying I'll be 10 feet away petting you with a broom. Ya I'm her. So this, this was awkward.

First Luke hugged me then followed the tan boy whose name is Calum. Then came the boy with the crazy bright red hair whose name was Michael. I looked over at Ashton who stood there smiling. "Ashton had told us so much about you." Calum said causing a blush to rise from my cheeks.

"So what do you all want to do?" Ashton asked the group. "Can we go get food I'm fucking starving." Yelled Michael. "No swearing there are baby ears around here." Ashton said looking around. I couldn't help but smile at his dorky little no swear rule. "Ya we should." I chimed in and everyone looked at me. "There's a dinner not to far from here we can go to." They all nodded and walked back to the car.

-

We drove 10 minuets to get to the dinner. We all pilled out of the car and into the door. Where we were sat at a booth. "How was the flight?" Ashton asked. "Good, long. I basically grew a beard on the flight." Luke replied and we all laughed. The guys went on making jokes about facial hair until I noticed a figure stop in front of the table. "Wow not only is she a misfit, but she is also a whore too. Good job Em, finally lost you're virgnity to 4 guys. I'm impressed." "Fuck off." Ashton said to her. She scoffed and walked away giving us the finger.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I said and got up and ran towards the door, I almost didn't make it when I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I let them fall. All of them one by one the tears rolled down my cheeks until no more came. I'm such a loser. I'm a misfit why would he every want to be around me? He probably hates me and I hate myself. I composed myself and fixed my makeup and walked back out to the table. When I got there I met Ashton's worried eyes. I gave him a smile to reassure him I was alright, but I knew he knew I wasn't.

The rest of the meal the boys talked about all the things they wanted to do in Florida and they talked about band stuff as I sat there quietly listening. We finished our food and drove home. By the time we pulled into Ashton's drive way it was early evening, I couldn't believe so much time had passed.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Ya I'm fine." I smiled at him.

"Em don't lie to me."

"Ashton I'm fine, go be a teenage boy go be with you're friends. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You promise?" He held out his pinky. I know he had no intention of hurting me but this did. I couldn't make a promise, I was getting into that bad stage of mind again. It was only down hill from here and soon no one would be there to catch me.

I smiled at him and shook his pinky. "I can stay-" "no Ashton go." I said harshly and walked inside still feeling the urge to cry. I closed the door on him, looking around my pitch black house, again no one was home. No one was here for me. I locked the door and slid down against it.

So many emotions where circling around inside me and I didn't know what to do. So I did it, the unspeakable thing I promised Alex and Kris I would never do again. I took out my blade and cut a line across my wrist.

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Sorry for such a heavy chapter but it's leading up to some good Ashton and En time. So get ready.