The Misfit [Irwin]

2.3 new&old

School.

Already I had to go back to this hell hole that was to further my education and help me. I didn't want to go. I thought about just staying home. But I know I can't miss anymore school.

When I arrived at the front doors of the school I noticed a group of people standing in front of the doors. I was turning to walk the other way not wanting to talk to anyone when I heard someone call out "Hey Misfit" I turned around to see a girl with long bright pink hair running towards me. I had never seen her before.

When she finally came to the spot I was she stopped and asked "you're the girl everyone calls the Misfit, right?" I nodded my head at her question. "I'm Lea." "I'm Em." She smiled at me and grabbed my arm pulling me over to her friends.

They went around the group introducing themselves. I met a boy with dark brow eyes named Josh, a girl with bright purple hair named Jasmine, and then another boy who had the brightest blue hair I had seen in my life, his name was Jake.

"We were gonna knock off if you wanted to come?" He asked. "Ya sure." I said and followed the group to the parking lot where we all pilled into Josh's jeep. He pulled out of the parking lot and then stopped a few minutes later when they came to a trail leading into the woods.

We all got out of the jeep and hiked up the trail until we came to a small clearing. We sat down and Jasmine pulled a small bag out of her backpack. "You wanna try?" She said as she threw the bag to me. I look at the bag and saw multiple colors and shapes bursting throughout the clear plastic. "What are they?" I asked. "What ever you want them to be darling." Jake said.

Darling. Ashton. That's what Ashton used to say to me. God I am so fucking stupid for thinking of that. I miss him, but I know he is better without me.
Without even thinking about it I took a handful of pills out of the bag and put them in my mouth and swallowed.

"Hey Misfit simmer down." Josh said taking the bag out of my hand as Jake pulled out a bottle of vodka from his bag. He opened it and took a sip and handed it to me. I felt the pills kick in after a few minutes and I laid back and looked at the sky. I felt someone come and lay down next to me, Jake.

"So what's you're story?"

"What do you mean?" I asked opening my eyes and looking over to him.

"What makes you the misfit you are?" I turned my head and looked up at the clouds.

"I don't know. I guess the popular kids just called me a misfit one day and it stuck."

"Why didn't you stand up for yourself?"

"I did, for a while when things were good." I closed my eyes at the thought of him.

"What do you mean good?" He asked leaning over on one arm to look at me.

"Well I had my bandmates and my boyfriend and his friends, and I was happy. But it all came crashing down last week."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault you didn't make me break up with him." I said getting annoyed with the conversation.

"Wait you broke up with him? Why do that if he made you happy?" He asked finally sitting up.

I don't know weather it was the pills or the alcohol or both that made me say this but I had never said this to anyone else before in my life. "That's why. He made me happy. Don't you see I can't be happy, it never lasts because everything that makes me happy always ends up leaving or fading away. After what happened with Baylee I never let anyone in. I just let them think they're close to me by building multiple sets of walls." By now I was standing and I began walking away.

How could I say that. How could I tell this boy I barely knew about Baylee when I couldn't even talk about it with Alex. I heard him calling my name but I just kept walking. I felt someone grab my hand and pull me around.

"You're scared, I get that. We all are. We all lose things."

"But you haven't lost things like I have." I screamed at him.

"Tell me."

I didn't know what I was saying until I started. "You know Baylee in school, she used to be my friend I told her everything. She knew every detail of my life, she was there for every fight my parents had and was there to clean up the aftermath. But as she became more popular and I got into music, and she left me behind. Then she would tell her new friends about the things that happened when I was a child and they would make fun of me, my family, and friends and she wouldn't do shit about it. Then after awhile she joined in."

What was I telling him this? How did I know he wasn't going to use it against me? "Well let me tell you this Em, I'm never going to hurt you." And then it happened he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

-

I heard a knock on my door around 5 and went to the door and saw Kris standing there with a pizza in his hand. I let him in the door and he sat on the couch. "Where were you today Em? Alex is really worried about you." He asked as I sat down next to him. I opened the box and answered him "I made some new friends at school and hung out with them."

"Who?" He asked taking a bite of his pizza. "You know the kids that usually only show up for the first week of school then never show up again?"

"The druggies?"

"Don't call them that they're really nice." I said putting my pizza down. "Em are you doing drugs with them?" He asked looking over to me. Kris and I have never been close and I don't understand why he cared.

I looked down when my phone lit up.

Text from Ashton:

Can we please talk?

"Who is that?" He asked looking over to my phone. I quickly deleted the text message "it's Ashton."

"You're still not talking to him?"

"No."

"So are you going to answer my question?" he asked.

"Kris honestly it's not anyone's business what I do with my body."

"Yes it is Em because we love and care for you."

Love. Why do people have to keep saying they love me when they know it scares the living hell out of me.

"Leave."

He stood up and walked to the door. "You know you really should stop pretending to be so tough, and just let one God damn person in." And with that he left.

I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my hair up. That's when I noticed the faint reminder of the night I had with Ashton. The marks he left on me to say I was his. I opened my drawer and pulled out my blade and sat on the floor.

I held out my wrist and touched the faint lines over my skin. Each one with a story, each one representing a moment of weakness. I took my blade and cut the deepest I had in years. I watched as the blood drained from my arm and on to the floor. I knew it would stop soon but I wish it didn't.

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Tbh I had two versions of this chapter made but then I decided that having her be a killer ( I mean she really want a killer it was a car accident but it was just to much) was kinda like no. So ummmm ya. I have a surprise for the next chapter(:

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