Being a Mother

Chapter 3: Dreams

N.B: Time moves quite quickly in these chapters, it kinda has to :) Also, if Birchhill is a place, sorry, I needed a name :P x

I waddled into the kitchen - that's right, waddled. This bump made me more penguin like than in year 1 when I was dressed up as one for our school christmas play.

But, on the bright side, nothing terrible had happened yet. I still had a chance of another child. Fi looked up at me and smiled. She was painting. I peered over her shoulder and complimented her painting, of a dream garden. I noticed, although all the flowers were bigger, there was a climbing frame, our trampoline had grown, there was a stunning pond, what still remained was our little grave for Millie.

I hummed whilst making us pancakes. Pancakes were my special weekend thing. Shame Daniel was at work on saturdays. He worked so much, and it made me feel guilty because I had such an easy life doing nearly nothing all day and pretending it was work. Well, I was an editor, so basically I could read stories (one of my favourite pass-times) and correct each mistake. For some reason it's always easier correcting other peoples errors.

I had a quick shower, feeling and examining my bump while I was in there. I remembered with fondness about when I had first felt him/her kick, and Fi had come running over. She looked up at me in shock when she felt it too. I had been really happy, so Fi laughed too. Then she began cooing, and talked very gently to the baby. I leaned back, completely relaxed, and eventually fell asleep.

I settled down on our bed. Out of the window I could see Fi. She had abandoned her painting and was cartwheeling down the lawn. She had lost the fat that young toddlers had, and had grown into a petite slim girl with muscles. I smiled, and picked up the phone.

"This is Birchhill Gymnastics Centre speaking, how may I help you?" a tinny voice asked.

"I'd like to enlist my daughter at your club please." I responded twirling the phone's cord.

"Certainly. There is a space available on friday, at five to seven, girls only. Is this ok? she asked.

"Yes, thank you. Is she starting next week?" I questioned.

"Yes. If you could make the payment when you drop her off, that would be lovely. And there is a waiting room situated up the stairs, where you can watch over your child while she learns."

"Ok, thanks very much!"

***

"Fi! I have a surprise for you baby!" I yelled out of the conservatory door. She was bouncing gracefully, her hair a ribbon behind her. She bounced off the trampoline on to the floor - making me cringe at the thought of her hurting those knees - and hurtled towards me. I noticed she was barefoot. "Fi, what have I told you about those muddy feet! You can't walk over the carpet like that!"

She looked down and examined them. Then she looked up grinning. "Sorry mummy. Guess you'll have to carry me..."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Sorry honey, I have a baby I'm carrying already! Crawl up the stairs to the bath babe, and we can wash those dirty trotters."

"I'm not a pig mummy!" she laughed, before crawling up the stairs. I wrinkled my nose at her feet behind her.

When I was washing her hair, I suddenly remembered the gymnastics. "Oh! Fi. I forgot to tell you. I've signed you up to gymnastics. What do you think honey?"

She thought for a bit. "Will I be able to do the splits then?" she asked.

"'Course! And loads more." I replied. She motioned for the towel, which I gave to her, before turning away. When I heard the soft thud land beside me, so I turned back to her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, struggling to get around the baby bump. When she released me, we looked at each other. Then I felt a pang in my stomach, and my hand rushed to the pain. Fi looked at me curiously. "Are you ok mummy?" she asked.

"I-" I started before I was cut off gasping.

"Mummy!" Fi cried, looking horrified.

"It's ok baby. I'll call the ambulance. Daddy will take you to the hospital. Now then..."

I made my way over to the phone in our bedroom, slowly and carefully. First I dialed Daniel's number. He didn't answer, so I called the office's number. They said Daniel was at a meeting, but he could be excused immediately. He would pick Fi up in five minutes.

Fi and I waited anxiously for the car to arrive. The pains were coming faster now, and I mentally told Daniel to hurry up. Thankfully the car came. The rest was a blur. Suddenly I was in hospital and being told it was an emergency. They told me I could either have the baby, and not have anymore children, or kill it to let me have others.

"Save my baby now," I murmured, before blacking out.