Being a Mother

Chapter 10: Fighting for Nathan

Pleeease have a look at fifi1621's poems :) x

I was tired. Fi definitely wasn't.

"Mummy!" she yelled, before bouncing on the my bed. I think she was excited that she could actually walk again. She was proving that staying in bed all day hadn't done anything to her energy rate at all. I however, didn't want to go back to my hectic life. It was nice being cooked for, and having people run around on your command.

The nurse came in and told me that (sadly) we had to leave now. Grudgingly I got up from the comfy bed and pulled the curtain round to get changed.

"Mummy! I need you - oh..." Fi yelled, pulling back the curtain while I was in my underwear. Everybody near me saw almost everything!

"Fi! Oh my... why would you... this is so embarrassing! Oh God." I struggled with pulling my jeans up and pulling the curtain shut at the same time. When I was done I opened the curtain and glared at her. She smiled innocently back at me.

"I just wanted to show you that I can tie my shoe now," she said, grinning. She had been able to tie her show for ages now. I just rolled my eyes.

***

The, first things first, I thought. We were on our way back home, just to check everything was in order over there. Then we would pick up Nathan. Then we would make some plans with Daniel.

We arrived home, and I opened the door, taking everything in while Fi ran inside. It had that homely smell, the one that's different for each place. The pile of mail was enormous, it made me wonder how it was possible for that amount of letters to collect in such a short time. I picked them up and flicked through them the pile. Bills, bills, letters from work, bills, letter from the adoption centre, bills, letter from work, wait.

Oh. A letter from an adoption centre?

I hastily tore the envelope open and scanned the page.

Sorry to inform you... blah blah blah. I concentrated hard on figuring out what they were trying to convey. Were they saying I wasn't a good enough mother, because of one slip - the car accident? According to this letter, both Fi and Nathan would be taken away from me, and apparently to the adoption centre living with Daniel wasn't an option. Did the social services know that he had beaten me? Why all of a sudden would they take my family away from me? Other parents had been in car crashes, but they didn't have their children tore away from them.

Maybe it was Mrs Ruchton. She was very cold towards me in all our phone calls, acting like I wasn't good enough for Nathan, even insinuating that he was behind mentally for his age. I knew Nathan was perfectly fine, perhaps even brighter than normal for a two year old!

I immediately reached for the phone to call Mrs Ruchton, then hesitated. I was jumping to conclusions. She might not know anything about this. I bit my lip, thinking. Then I phoned the adoption centre's number on the bottom of the letter.

"Hello, this is the Nation's Adoption Centre, how may we help you?" she said, far to brightly.

"Hello, this is Rebecca Williams. I have just received a letter saying that I am not a good enough mother to take care of my children. What on earth is going on?"

There was an uncomfortable silence. Haha, I thought.

"I'll just check the records here," she eventually said. I paced around our living room. That was just a habit I had. It just got on my nerves if I stood still for too long.

"Well... you see..." she cleared her throat, "the records say that..."

"Look here. I have been a perfect mother for six years. A single one for two years. I have not had a single point against me. Why the sudden change?" I half shouted into the phone. I heard Fi drop something upstairs.

"Ok, well. We've had a tip-off from a certain source, saying there have been... disturbances. Apparently children have been harmed... we'll investigate and then decide, so just-"

"If you haven't already decided, then why is Nathan already being adopted? Adopted, not fostered? And who the hell tipped you off? My children have never been hurt, never. I wouldn't let that happen."

"I'm sorry, ok? But if we don't act fast, then the press and government will be all over us," she said through gritted teeth. "We don't need any of that. Our source has looked after loads of people and your children show all-"

"It's Mrs Ruchton?" I asked, taken aback. "She was the one that told you? Nobody else has adopted Nathan or Fi, really nobody has looked after them. Apart from Abi, of course, but I trust her with my life."

"No! Well... we have to trust her. I won't tell you which of the two actually told us something is wrong at your household, but a private investigation will be carried out. I might as well tell you though, it is almost definite that Fi and Nathan will be adopted because of this, so make the most of your time together while you can. Good bye, Mrs Williams."

The phone clicked off.

***

Usually, I like to take action. However this time, all I could do was to sit and think.

Abi or Mrs Ruchton had told the social services that I wasn't good enough. While I trusted Abi, completely, Mrs Ruchton had never spoken to Fi and never visited my house or seen Daniel. But, unless Daniel... or Fi... had told somebody that my husband has hit me, nobody else would know. My brow furrowed in concentration. Fi and I had just come out of hospital, Nathan hadn't seen us for weeks, and then Daniel had just appeared in our lives again. It was too much right now to deal with all of this.

But my thoughts kept returning to our situation. Daniel wanted to see Nathan and Fi, but as far as I was aware didn't know that they would be adopted. He expected for me to make arrangements for him to come round and see his children, but I didn't know how much time I had left.

"Fi!" I called. I heard her bouncing down the stairs.

"Yes mummy?" she said when entering the room. She stopped when she saw me. Then she ran over to me and jumped onto my lap.

"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" she asked anxiously.

My hands flew to my cheeks, and sure enough, they came back with salty teardrops on them. I hadn't even realised that I was shedding tears, but once I noticed I started weeping more obviously. She comforted me. She was only six, but she comforted me like a mother would her child. Nathan, only two, was all alone with Mrs Ruchton.

I bawled like a baby, with Fi stroking my hair.