One Shot Collection

12. Nostalgic Feelings | An Open Letter

May 29, 2023

Hi, I just read your letter.

Actually, I don't know where to start. I don't know what to say exactly, either.

Just like I didn't know why we ended that way.

Oh yeah, it was because of me.

I am sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt you. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But it turns out, I already did.

Please don't say that I never loved you. Because I did.

I was happy when we were together. When we are laughing for simple things. I miss those times too.

When you are crying while watching your favorite drama, I was there to hug and comfort you. I wish I could do that again.

When I tied your hair and made it look ridiculous. Instead of being mad, you just laughed at me. Ugh, I hope I can touch and comb your soft hair again.

When you passed your exams, I was there to celebrate with you.

When your pet died, I cried with you.

When you accidentally slip at the wet floor on the cafeteria, I was there to catch you.

I was always there. And I wanted to be there for you again.

Three months...

For them it was such a short period of time. But for me, it was the most precious time of my life.

Oh, I wish I could say I miss you too but I don't want to bring you hope. I'm such a mess and I don't deserve the kind of love that you offer.

You see. I have a lot of baggage.

I can't promise you anything, but I want you to know how happy I am on those three months of loving you.

But I guess, things didn't work out the way we want it to be, eh.

I guess, I'm the reason why you are hurting. I will take the blame for all your miseries. I won't lie nor deny anything. I know I did something cruel to you.

Hate me, and I will understand.

Moving on is not that easy, I know. It's very hard to endure the pain of being left behind. I can still see you from your windows, crying all night. How I wish I have the courage to knock on your door, so I can comfort you.

You deserve someone better.

Please find a real man that can offer you his world to revolve around you.

Find someone who can fight for you.

Find someone who can stand beside you even in the midst of a storm.

I don't know why I am crying while I was writing this letter. I don't understand why I feel like, there was something cracking inside my chest. Like, I was hurting.

And there it goes. Sorry to leave a mark on the paper. I just can't control my eyes any longer. Let's just say, I leave a mark of sadness on that part. Lucky you don't hear my sobs too.

Really? Like why do I need to do this even if I really didn't want to?

Well, I just wanted you to be happy. That's all I am wishing.

I wanted to see your smile again. I am craving for that kind of glance that you do with so much love in your eyes, while looking at me.

If someone will see me now, they'd probably laugh at me. Think that I am crazy.

Ow shoot...
Do I look stupid?

Who cares. I really am stupid. So stupid to let someone like you go.

Who am I kidding?

The truth was...

Until now I still have feelings for you. Yes I did go back to my old relationship but that doesn't change the fact that you are the one that I keep on missing.

You are the reason why I found myself most of the time, crying. I really wanted to beg for you and say sorry a thousand times but I don't have the courage to do so. I was just afraid that you won't understand me.

I guess, I am not a man after all.

I am sorry Natasha, I really am.

You might not believe it, but I still love you. And I miss you so much.

Honestly, I hate the part of your letter when you wrote about moving on without me.

I really wanted to let you go and move forward, but my heart was telling me to fight for this love.

Can you give me a second chance, perhaps? Can you wait a little longer? I just need some time to fix things up.

Sorry for not explaining it early. But if you give me time, I am ready. I will explain everything.

I'll wait for your reply with so much hope in my heart.

Patiently waiting,
Ethan