Maybe Next Time

Chapter 27

CARMEN

I saw disappointment in Michelle's eyes when I introduced her to Sasha.

Pero imbes na i-clarify sa kanya ang lahat, I just let her think what she wants to think.

When she asked if we could be friends, sinakyan ko na lang.

Hindi ko alam kung nakatingin siya sa akin when I walked away but I had a feeling she was.

For sure hindi nakalampas sa kanya na inakbayan ko si Sasha.

     "Is that her?" Nakangiting tanong ni Sasha habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa parking lot.

     "Yup!"

     "Wow! She's pretty."

     Tumango lang ako.

     Christine told me what happened to Michelle and Edward.

     I don't think she did it on purpose pero dahil madaldal nga, bigla na lang niyang nabanggit.

     Nalaman ko din ang ginawa ni Edward and I felt angry.

     Michelle was a wonderful woman.

     Siya yung tipong inaalagaan at hindi sinasaktan.

     If he really wanted her back, he managed to lose her for good.

     No wonder I saw that lonely look in her eyes.

     Kahit nakasmile siya, halata sa mata niya na meron siyang dinadala.

     Another part of me was glad that she finally made a decision for herself.

     Alam ko na the one thing that was holding her back dati was Zac.

     If the decision to leave Edward was influenced by what happened, perhaps it was for the best.

     Very common ang domestic violence and Michelle doesn't seem like the type to tolerate that shit.

     Palaban siya at alam ko na protecting her son was of utmost importance.

     When I went to Canada, hindi naman siya naalis sa isip ko.

     Lagi ko siyang naaalala.

     I remembered those moments when we kissed.

     There were so many things I wanted to do to her, good things, but I couldn't find the opportunity.

     Ang dami ding what-ifs na pumasok sa utak ko.

     What if I didn't say goodbye to her that day sa sinehan?

     What if pinagpatuloy namin ang pagkikita?

     Will it lead to something?

     The answer was a big I don't know.

     But when I think of what Sasha told me when she found out Nick was cheating on her and how I did the right thing by walking away, somehow I felt relieved.

     Now that Michelle's marriage is ending, the thought that maybe we finally have a chance came to mind.

     But when she offered her hand in friendship, my heart sank.

     Siguro hanggang doon na nga lang ang lahat.

     She closed that door when she asked if we could be friends.

     Ako naman, I accepted unwillingly.

     How could I be so stupid when from the start, hindi naman yun ang gusto ko?