Emily's POV
I took Yoongi's advice to heart, and I spent the next few days doing what makes me happy. Everyday, I took a long walk, and when I got home, I'd take a long shower. The incident the other day hadn't really bothered me, but doing those things still had a wave of relief wash over me. But something else had actually been bothering me.
I was thinking about it, and I've noticed that I haven't had any run ins with Kenzie recently. In fact, I've barely seen her. I've seen her in school a few times, but she hasn't tried to kill me again. While it is a relief, it feels weird not to have her around. I know she stopped being my friend a while ago, and I've gotten used to not having her around, but I still miss her presence. Perhaps things have been working out with Ryan and she doesn't need to pester me anymore.
On Monday evening, while I was sitting in my room doing homework, I heard some loud talking coming from downstairs. I ignored it at first, that was until I heard a knock on my door.
"Come in."
In walks Yoongi, as I should've expected. I can tell he's obviously up to something. If he's trying to hide it then he's doing a horrible job of it. I drop my pencil on top of my textbook and wait for him to say something. He doesn't have to though, because I already know why he's here.
"Is it that time again," I ask him.
"You guessed it."
I sigh.
"What do you want to face this time?"
I knew it wouldn't be long before he came back over for this reason. Luckily, I have already prepared my answer.
"I want to face my old closet."
"You mean-"
"Yes, that one."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I've had some time to prepare for this. I did exactly what you told me to do. So don't worry. Let's do this."
I get up from my desk and walk towards where Yoongi is. I grab his hand and lead him to my old room. It's right down the hall from my current room. After I had tried to kill myself, my parents had given me their room, and they moved into the guest room. My old room is mainly used for storage, and no one really goes into it.
I stand outside of the room, and I open the door slowly. As soon as the whole room comes into view, a cold chill runs down my spine. The room is filled with odds and ends, and is dim despite the evening sun being bright. I glance around the room until I land on the closet. There is nothing stored in front of it, so that makes it easier for me to get to it. I step into the room, carefully making my way around all the junk. Yoongi follows right behind me. After moving a few boxes, I stand in front of the spot where I tried to kill myself. Haunting memories force their way into my head.
Losing air
Saying goodbye
Closing my eyes forever
I suddenly sit down, feeling too light headed to stand. I look up at the spot that I hung the rope. A chill runs down my spine again. This is proving to be harder than I thought. Right now, I'm trying to hold back tears. I don't know how I'm supposed to form words. I feel him slowly rub my back, and I decide to take a deep breath.
"You've got this," he says quietly.
"You. You encouraged me to take something so precious as my life away. You just sat there, watching me struggle, day and night. You almost made me disappear from this Earth, but do you care? Of course not. You just sit here and haunt me, every single day. Well, you no longer scare me. I won't hide from you anymore. I won't avoid this room just because of what you almost made me do. I won't be afraid of a stupid closet like you. I am moving on from the bad memories you hold of me."
Once I'm done speaking, I realize that I was crying. I guess revisiting the place that I almost ended my life is harder on me then I thought. I turn around and hug Yoongi tightly. I cry into his chest, and he holds me closely against him. We stay like that for a while. I let all the bad memories of my attempted suicide leave my brain. It's very painful. I suddenly feel very grateful that Yoongi is there with me. If he hadn't been, then who knows how badly I would've lost it.
"Yoongi," I say in a shaky breath.
"Yes?"
"Can you stay the night?"
"Of course."
I hug him even tighter, if that's possible. I finally let go of him, and once I do, he kisses me. I almost forgot what a kiss felt like, after all that I've been through recently. His soft lips felt like a haven from the hell I've been through. He pulls away, and gives me a quick kiss on my forehead. He begins to slowly stand up.
"Come on. Let's get you something to eat, and then you can rest."
The thought of going to sleep in his arms gives me a boost of energy, so I get up rather quickly. I grab his hand as he leads me out of the room. He takes me downstairs, where dinner is being prepared. I tell my mother that he's staying, and she doesn't mind. Yoongi calls his mother to bring over some clothes for tomorrow and to sleep in. Once he finishes his call, dinner is ready, and I make sure to help set the table. Of course, he offers to help. I try to decline, but he somehow ends up helping anyway. My mom made this delicious chicken recipe that we both love, and Yoongi ends up really liking it too.
Once dinner is over, he and I help my mother clean up, and we start to head upstairs. As soon as we reach the stairs, the doorbell rings. He opens it, and his mother stands there with a bag of clothes in hand. He thanks her and says goodbye. I laugh to myself at the awkward interaction. I've never actually met his mother, but from what I saw of her, he looks just like her. His face is slightly red when he turns back around to come upstairs. I laugh louder at him, and he looks like he's ready to strangle me. I quickly run upstairs, and I hear him run after me. I go to my room, but before I can close the door, he bursts in, almost taking me down in the process. At this point, we're both laughing.
"Wow, I'm really out of shape. Just running up the stairs makes me run out of breath. It also makes me more tired then I was before," he says, panting.
"Me too. I just want to get comfy and go to sleep."
We both do exactly that. I slip on an oversized hoodie and some sweats, and I crawl into bed. He does the same thing I did, and as soon as he gets into bed, I immediately move closer to him. He wraps his arms around me, and holds me closely. I take a deep breath, realizing I can finally relax. I lean my head into his chest, and I slowly close my eyes.
"Yoongi?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
