The Date Planner

1.3. What Are You doing Here?

It's 1am and I'm still not home.

I can't make myself, I don't know why. So I've been sitting in my car which is parked in the parking lot of my apartment building for the past 30 minutes, staring outside of my windshield at nothing.

Literally nothing.

Overthinking my way into a headache.

Gosh, I'm so pathetic.

I sigh and slam my head on the steering wheel.

It's been an hour since I left Clinton and yet I can't stop thinking about him or the night. It's making me feel all kinds of weird, good kind of weird's which I've been trying to process but I can't. Seriously.

Hence, the headache.

The fact that Jason keeps calling me every minute is not helping either. And I know even though he's upstairs right now in my apartment, waiting for me whilst I've been overthinking for half hour, I can't make myself go upstairs.

Somehow...

Somehow it feels odd. Like I don't want to face him because all these thoughts in my head, all these weird feelings for Clinton that have erupted in my chest just by spending a night with him feels like betrayal to Jay.

As if I wronged Jason in someway. Even though, Jason and I were never a thing, despite the fact that I love him in a way that's more than just a best friend, makes me feel disgusted.

Disgusted at me for betraying Jason when I technically didn't and disgusted to feel something for someone by just spending a night with them.

It's odd. This situation.

Man, I just wish I could get over this.

***

After spending 30 minutes in my car doing nothing, I couldn't stand the thought of sitting there and rotting away in there for my entire life.

Thankfully, I had my keys so I wouldn't have to ring the bell.

So the next thing you know, I'm slowly twisting my keys through the keyhole of my door as silently as possible when the door opens from inside and is wrenched in the midst of my key twisting.

I gasp at the sudden unexpected movement when I look up to a heaving Jason who's looking at me rather strangely.

I scrunch my brows in confusion at him.

But before I'm able to say anything, I'm pushed into his hard chest as he hugs the life out of me. And that's when I feel it. My body tingling in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways as Jason hugs the hell out of me.

Oh boy, I can't breath.

Though Jason has no idea as he squeezes the hell out of me, lifting me mid-air and pulling me inside the apartment, closing my door behind.

"Jay, I can't.... br-brea-th...", I muster out somehow, half of which is muffled under his shirt.

But he's hugging me like I'll disappear any minute; he's hugging me like his life depends on it, literally. And I can't think straight.

It's like that part of me that's secretly in love with Jason just ignites up, pushing aside all my new feelings from last night and replacing them with the ones that have been there forever.

Somehow I feel its unfair but then Jason squeezes me one more time for reassurance, breathing in my hair and kissing my head and I'm back to that girl who fell in love with him and all that matters now is him.