The Lost Thread

Emptiness

Kedar's small hand kept slipping from her tight clutch as he fought to run down the hill to catch a butterfly. But a fall can be fatal, so Maya clung fast. The  road was not busy but it was too narrow to allow carefree passage. She marvel at how his little mouth worked faster than his feet. His endless chatter relieved the strain of the 1 hr walk down hill. They were heading to the market town downhill, where she would leave Kedar in the care of Sushma, a middle aged shop keeper. After that she will go to the newly built school further down. 

She has started work in the school only recently. Before that she used to help out in the military hospital across the valley.  She had also joined the army in the rebuilding work, when they slowly picked up the pieces and reconstructed this devastated community. It had taken three years of back breaking work to get this town up and running. Even now you can see the remains of the deadly floods that destroyed the valley three years back. Everyone here had lost someone in those floods, just like she had lost Dhruv. Their grief had bound them together. 

Maya spends her morning teaching the children. Afternoon she would return to Shushma's hut to eat. Sometimes she would get called to nearby villages for first aid or simple treatments. She was the only trained midwife for miles around, and people found her skills invaluable. She learned midwifery when she was in the hospital, awaiting Kedar's birth. 

It's astonishing how a small community nurtures each other. In this rugged land, far away from any amenities, they still traded in barter. Everyone looked out for each other. Countless people say 'namaste' as she walks back to the market. The endless line of tourists and devotees gets broken here, as everyone rests their feet at the numerous stalls that line the street. These tourists were the lifeline of this town. Each person were involved in provided food and shelter for these travellers. Sushma too was busy making parata's. The group in her shop was a big family. The grandmothers were struggling to catch their breaths, and the children were breathless in excitement. Kedar too had joined the group, trying to fit in. The children were being kind, but a bit dismissive. 

Maya felt a twinge of regret. If things had been different, Kedar too would have been decked in designer clothes, wearing imported jackets and hats. He would have also been part of a big group, surrounded and adored by grandparents, uncles and aunts. But she can only afford the basics for him, both in clothes and personal relationships.

Her parents had discarded her like trash. When she returned back, broken and grieving, they had  wanted to hide her. When they found out about her pregnancy, the6 wanted her to get an abortion. When she refused, they asked her to leave. And she left. It's been 2.5 years since she had last seen her family. The emptiness in her soul had been absolute those first few months. But the, one stormy night, Kedar arrived. And she learned to live again. 

She beckoned Kedar to her. His tiny legs couldn't get to her fast enough. He hurled his little body in her arms. No matter how much care he got from strangers, nothing can beat his mum. Right now she had done paratha and sabji ready for him. They went out and sat in a boulder near the road. 

'What did you do all day'

'Play'

'What did you play with'

'Pilu's Tail'

Maya choked on her paratha. Where exactly did her son spend the morning?

'Who's Pilu'

'Abdul's tiny horse'

'Did you wash your hands?'

'In the river, when we were washing the horse'

Maya's breath caught in her throat. Everyone knew of her fear of the river. How could they take her son to the river?

After finishing the paratha, she rushed to Shusma. 

'Shusmaji, did Kedar go near the river today?'

Shushma took one look at her face and judged her mood in a glance. Maya was the shadow of the girl she knew three years ago. Then she could slay a person with her tongue, but now she barely raised her voice. Even now when she burned in indignation, she spoke in calm and composed way.

'We told him it was the river, but actually it was the tiny stream under the banyan tree'.

Maya let out her breath in a sign. Her fear for the river is really getting out of hand. If she wishes to raise her son bear the river, one day he will go near the water. How can she avoid that.

She gave Sushma a hug and said good byes. It was a long trek back home.  She could have lived near the market, but it was slightly safer up there, less crowded and more tightly knit community. The walk tires Kedar easily. In no time he throws a tantrum. Maya picks him up and ties him to hEr back, just like the porters. A slowly they began their lonely journey.