From Hate To Lust

Chapter Sixteen

Hi! Thanks so much for your feedback guys! It means a lot to me. I'm happy that you seem to enjoy my story. I promise the best is still missing, I personally like the next chapters more than the first ones. It's been sooo long since I wrote them, my writing style changes through out the story, I think, and especially from chapter 18 on, I think, it gets.. more intense than it is. And my writing might be more mature, or maybe it's just me ! :) I just hope you'll all enjoy it ! Thanks for reading !

“So Niall,” I said and he looked up at me again after he had placed the guitar next to the bed. “Since when do you play?” I was really interested in this and since he had shown me these things, I thought he might as well tell me more about it. I wanted to get to know him better. The other Niall, the true Niall.
He smiled and straightened his back before he crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked into my eyes.
“I started playing the guitar when I was around 11 I think,” he said and scratched his head. “I don’t know, I’ve always loved music and I just wanted to make my own music. So I learned how to play and once I played the guitar I realized I loved singing as well. People told me I was good at it and sometimes I even played small gigs back home in Ireland. I would’ve loved to become a singer but that won’t ever happen, I gave up on that long ago.” He stared at his feet and let out a low sighed.
“Never say never,” I mumbled and he looked up and smiled.
“I know, but this is really unrealistic, come on,” he said and winked. “I’m concentrating on basketball now but music will always be my passion.”
“Why don’t you give it a shot, I mean you’re talented, Niall.”
“I’m talented at basketball too,” he said and I nodded.
“You are, I’m just saying you should never lose hope. You know, if there’s something, anything, that makes it worth trying, why would you give up on it?” He stared into my eyes and seemed to think about my words for some time.
“Yeah, you’re probably right, but look, my chances on a basketball career are really good. I’m the captain and the point guard of our college’s team and scouts come to watch every now and then, if they get a good impression that’s a huge chance for me!” His eyes were sparkling with excitement when he said this and I smiled, knowing that this meant a lot to him as well. And he was right, he was really good at basketball and I was sure that the scouts would notice him. He really had a chance on a career, that was true.
“Once you’re a famous basketball player you can release your first record since you’ll be fame already,” I said jokingly and he laughed that beautiful laugh of his. I giggled and he shook his head, smiling at me.
“Looks like I’ve already got my first fan,” he said, grinning cheekily and I blushed a bit.
“Yeah, you’re okay,” I said, stretching the okay to tease him.
“I’m gorgeous,” he said and I laughed at him, even though we both knew he was right.  
“Tell me about basketball then, when did you start playing?” I asked curiously. I genuinely hoped that he wouldn’t mind me asking all of these questions but he could always say no and stop the conversation if he didn’t want to talk to me. He didn’t seem to feel uncomfortable though, instead he told me all about it. I was flattered.
“I was always interested in basketball and football, or soccer if you wanna call it that way, I used to watch games on the TV and I played just for myself and for fun as a kid,” he started. “My father noticed I was doing good at basketball when I was around 8 years old, so he sent me to a basketball team for kids in Dublin. That was actually pretty annoying because my home’s still  one hour from Dublin. So my dad brought me there once a week for quite a long time and when I got older I started to do more work outs at home and we bought a basketball hoop, so I could practice at home. It got harder with each grade in school because every year I had more tests to study for, more homework to get done… I mean, you know how it is.” His face was serious and he was so into his little speech, he looked adorable – ruffling his hair every now and then, gesturing with his hands and occasionally biting his lips. I nodded and he continued.
“However, I was so into basketball by then, I didn’t want to give up on it. So I kept playing, kept going to Dublin and practicing at home, almost every day. I managed to keep my grades up until I was around sixteen because then I focused on basketball and my girlfriend and that’s when it all went downhill.” His girlfriend? I stared at him, wide-eyed and tried to imagine him in a serious relationship. I felt my heartbeat quicken as I was looking at him and I started to feel an unpleasant sting inside of me… I was jealous. Jealous of something I didn’t know a single thing about. I couldn’t change my feelings though. There was no way I could deny that I envied whatever girl he used to called his goddamn girlfriend. I thought Niall didn’t do the girlfriend thing. I don’t know why, but I had foolishly assumed he had never dated a girl before. It was stupid; I realized it in this moment. Everything I felt was stupid. Excuse me but jealousy, really? This was the last thing I needed right now. Not that it wasn’t enough already to admit that I was in love with him. Now my heart had to decide to make me feel bad about this, even though I had no clue what had happened. It was just that hearing him say the words my girlfriend made me want him to call me his girlfriend so bad. It sounded good when Niall said these words and right now after all of these random things we did this afternoon, thinking of how nice he had treated me and how much fun we’ve had together, I just wanted him to want me. I wanted him to be mine and I was jealous that there was a girl who had him before.
I was dumb and I wasn’t pleased with myself for thinking that way. I had never thought about Niall’s past with girls other than tons of one-night-stands. I bit my lower lip into my mouth as I realized he was eying me carefully, noticing my expression that couldn’t be too happy right now. Fucking hell, all of this was a nightmare. Why did I have to fall for him? Why did he have to come into my life in the first place? I sighed.
“What’s up?” he asked and lifted the corner of his mouth up into a half smile.
“Nothing,” I said, obviously sounding a bit too bitter because he raised his eyebrows and smirked.
“Nothing?” he repeated and I nodded, forcing myself to smile at him.
“Why did it all go downhill from there?” I asked him, feeling the need to know more about this. He let out a longish sigh and shook his head slowly. I looked up into his eyes and saw how they grew colder. His smile vanished and he seemed upset and angry about this.
“Because I wasted my time,” he spat and I nodded quickly. He did not seem to like this topic but I was dying to know more.
“Sorry,” I said, not sure if I was apologizing for what had happened or for being so nosy.
“Not your fault,” he said, his jaw clenched and his eyes were still cold and angry. I didn’t mean to upset him.
“Anyways, I’m not there anymore. My life has changed. And more importantly, I have changed, for good,” he said and shifted, getting onto his knees. He crawled next to me and rested his back against his bedpost, crossing his arms in front of his chest again. His face was pretty much emotionless and I didn’t know what to say or do. I was wondering what exactly he meant about the changes. It was because I didn’t know him much and I wanted to know him inside out. I didn’t just want to know what turned him on, where I had to touch him or what I needed to say to make him want me. I wanted to know him better, his personality, the Niall behind the cocky little bastard he was. He said he had changed for good, so did this mean he had been an even bigger ass before? I somehow doubted this. He used to have a girlfriend so I assumed Niall thought changing from a lovely guy into a jerk was a good change. Well, it wasn’t if you ask me.
I was sure that the old Niall was still somewhere inside of him, he just didn’t want to be that person anymore. The urge to ask him about his past almost killed me but I tried my best to keep my mouth shut, I didn’t want to upset him any further.
“I hope you don’t feel like you’re wasting time now,” I whispered and turned to look into his eyes. He stared right back into mine and I felt myself blushing for saying this out loud. But it was the truth. I didn’t want to be a waste of time for him. Because he was not wasting mine. Every time I saw him and I was with him meant something to me by now. I thought about the day had taken me out for dinner, thought about how sweet he had been and I remembered every moment of us getting drunk in his trunk and of the car sex that had followed. I thought about everything that had happened between us and it wasn’t even that much, but then again it had been enough to make me fall for him. He was someone special; I genuinely believed that he was. He just didn’t show anyone who he really was and I wanted to see the other side of him more than anything else.
I felt my palms getting sweaty and my heartbeat quicken as he still stared into my eyes, not saying anything yet. His expression grew a bit softer again and he carefully examined my face, probably realizing how successful exactly he had been with accomplishing his goddamn mission.
“No, I don’t,” he said and the corners of his mouth lifted up into a small smile. I bit my lip and looked at my hands, feeling my face blush harder before I peeked up at him again, giving him a small smile.
“Good,” I muttered and he reached over, gripping my face and pulled me in for a quick kiss. I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine and when he was about to pull back again, I tangled my hands into his hair and pulled him closer to me, my lips moving against his slowly. He let out a low sigh and kissed me back, poking his tongue against my lips as he rolled on top of me and pushed me down on his bed so I was lying on my back. I opened my mouth, allowing his tongue to enter and he moved it against mine, knowing exactly how to do it the right way. My fingers wandered through his blonde and slightly messy hair and I smiled against his lips, enjoying the warmth of his body against mine and the feelings his kiss triggered inside of me…