The Sovereign

NINE | Salvation | NINE

Make no mistake. The beast in me is sleeping, not dead.

~ • 《⚜》• ~

Alyra Kassia Ambrose

S A L V A T I O N

♧

     "Never show weakness Kassia, this world is cruel, relentless. And if you show the world a way to break you, it will destroy you."

His words kept echoing in my head all night. The way he spoke, the way he held me, the way he looked. There was a haunting truth behind his words. He didn't show it. He didn't even feel it, but I could see the hell in his eyes.

The same way I see hell in mine.

I breathed a sigh as I lean my head back into the trunk. Allowing me to gaze the night sky where a crescent moon hang above our heads. The night seemed peaceful tonight. It was calm wherein it was chaos in my head.

Pressure was building at my temples as the chaos never dwindled nor calmed. Too many thoughts were hammering all together. Thoughts about my sister, this town, myself, him. It was all too much, and with the thoughts, the emotions followed.

I felt chaotic. Fear, anxiety, worry, anger, every bundle of emotions swirled inside of me that I couldn't understand what I felt. My thoughts, fears and worries for my sister. My distrust, uncertainty, and confusion with this town and everyone in it. Most of all, my fear or want, my sense of threat or security, my confusing safety or danger around him.

I didn't know anymore, and with my inability to get away from him doubled that. I felt so chaotic, and when I felt chaotic- I felt rage.

The need to punch, to hurt, to lose control triggers inside of me. Too much emotions fueled too much anger and it doesn't take my body a second to interpret it as rage.

"So until I know you won't go rampaging in bloodlust anytime soon. You're going nowhere." I needed to cool down. I didn't want to give him anymore reasons to hold me and I don't think another rampage episode would help.

Oh God, rampage. I still can't remember what happened after the cafeteria. Whenever I tried, all I'd feel was rage. I want to know what happened, what I did, but I don't think he's going to cooperate. I don't even think I want to know. I've seen what my first rampage looked like. I don't think I can bare to see what I've done in the second.

My turmoil shattered as quickly as it came when I heard a dark rumble. For a second I thought he knew I was nearly going into rampage, but when I turned. He was still asleep.

He had his back turned on me and I kept as far as the chains allowed. I see him visibly shake in his sleep, letting out grunts and growls that sounded more savage than anything I've heard. He tossed and turned, his entire body tense and vibrating.

I've learned enough to know that kind of pain didn't come from a nightmare, but a memory. He was reliving every second, every detail of a painful memory. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for someone who shared my pain. He wasn't the only one who's nights were plagued with the past.

I could feel his pain like my own. Every grunt and growl felt like a tear inside of me. It sounded so brutal but so painful at the same time. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I was afraid. I  knew enough to know not to wake a sleeping beast, especially one whose coming out of his personal hell.