Thomas Wright's Diary

September

                             8, September 1858

Ma and Poppy, been talkin about Betsy. Theys leavin me out the discussion, why don't knows. Ma thinks I love her Poppy may think the same not sure. Ma thinkin about sellin her, damn don't want that. Betsy off with some owner I don't know. Hope Ma just keeps her on at the Bowman Plantation.

Least ways I know I can help her. Why I thinks this away not sure. Is it love or as Ems say lust? Last we spoke she says us apart might be for the best. Do she have feelins for me? Just tryin ta keep me from heart break? Thinkin I might just move out ta the old place, buy Betsy. Maybe next plantin season. Talk ta Ma about it here in the mornin.

                           10, September 1858

Took a job over in Ripley, feller needs few hands ta help build a new Inn. So I gots on unloadin wagons of brick and such. Only last about two weeks. Money ta put aside ta move out next plantin season. Poppy thought it a good idea. Ma didn't much care for it. She said she would let Betsy stay on at the old place with me. After us a talkin a might long time. She said least she knew I'd be gettin a meal least once a day.

Told her that it just lust is all, I am fella young one at that. Ma kinda smiled, told me she hoped that all it was. Honest here, don't know what it is. Powerful feelin though, might powerful.

                       11, September 1858

I quit about dark, unloaded three wagons today some had brick others had lumber. Might tired hard work. Almost to tired ta row the boat back.
Ma had some fish and few greens for supper. Poppy broke out some whisky poured me a drink after supper. My that was strong but helped ease out the pain some. Poppy told me understand ya not wantin ta work as an overseer. Hope ya stay on help me bring back runaways. Told Poppy got no problem with helpin him. They are breakin the Law. He let it rest at that. Not much else happened.

                              13, September 1858

No wagons taday, helped carry brick up ta the place. My hard work, those masons can lay brick now. Fast learned a bit too, fella named Jim showed me some. Nice fella take the time ta teach guy few things. Dinner Ma had me a biscuit and some ham it was wrapped up with towel. Most fellers went over ta Joes Saloon fer dinner. Beer would of been nice. Poppy says spend only what ya need ta. Put some back always put some back.

Although after work stopped had a beer, my it was good. Hit the spot when ya hot and thirsty. Supper my Ma fixed potato cakes and meat left over from the Bowman's supper. Pork roast my don't get that much. Fish, rabbit, deer, bacon, sausage, ham and on occasion some kind of beef. If a chicken quits layin we eats that. Ma was all smiles wouldn't say about what. Poppy we sat down at the river till dark. Asked what I thought about growin Hemp.
Told me might be a good crop make rope and such out it. Best let the tobacco rest fer two seasons.

Told him if we can make money so be it. Don't know thin about hemp. Poppy laughed said he didn't either. We decided on beans least people hereabouts know a bit about them. Next season we split it corn and beans. Fine less labor for both.

                           16, September 1858

Rained most of the day, no work. Gave me time ta figure the money an all. Needs least 500 dollars by next spring. That should hold me till my share of the crop comes in. Just over 200 now, need ta make some money. Poppy said he was goin ta check the Sheriff's office for bounties on runaways. One high nough we'll take it on. Unless of course Mister Bowman has one. We knows he pays. Poppy and Ma made it back from the Bowman's place soaked.

Ma was none too happy, bein wet an all. Poppy he looked tuckered, mumbled somethin about stuck in the rain all day. Late as it was knew both already ate. Cut myself some pie. Ma finally spoke Ma Bowman Mister Bowmans Ma done hit Betsy with a switch. Ma was a might upset, hell I was fit!

I was ready ta kill, she did what Ma? Hit her with a switch Tommy, I couldn't stop her. She ain't right in the head an all. Betsy didn't move out her way fast nough is all. So she wasn't disobeying or bein uppity? Ma said no. Poppy I asked we ain't goin ta let this stand are we? Poppy looked away, Betsy is on the porch, puttin a salve on her legs. Then Poppy said son, she is nigris and slave. Not much we could do, just what we did is all.

When Betsy came in, I felt powerful shame. Betsy asked she was needed. Ma told her ta take the night off. Heard her crying later that night, she has the corner at the ladder ta the loft where I sleep.
Recon she thought I was sleepin.

                            19, September 1858

Sunday, didn't go ta church Ma and Poppy did. Betsy she was lookin across the river. Heard her say Freedom, then shook her head no such thing was her next words. I look across it see double standards, darkie can't eat inside my place. Course could be just that man. Rest seemed pleasant an all. Betsy must a known I was behind her. She said goin ta sit Mister Thom or not?