Thomas Wright's Diary

July

                              1, July 1859

Poppy made it back, one runaway brought back. Reward two hundred dollars. My part fifty that's fine done nothin any ways. Betsy been actin a little more normal. Ma gone an all, still no sign of wantin ta do more than cuddle.

Thinkin best find out what is wrong. Can't be livin this aways. Our child is gone! It hurts, lan sakes can't let it stops us from life itself. Maybe Poppy, Ma an uncle Tom is right. Found the wrong love. That causes deep down ache more than I can endure. Betsy is my life, nothin more can be said.

Slavery an it's social boundaries, are wrong even non slave states. Feel it wrong for love between whites an blacks.  Tully gets killed fer defending his wife! Three have sex with Grace, just because she is black. Then Ma Bowman whips her close ta death! Dies from it after.

States have rights, they should have the right ta do what they feel best. Maybe Law, that law is wrong. Am I wrong fer bringin them back? No I am doin what the Law says I can do. May not enjoy it, it is the law. May never be happy, are they really free?
From what I have seen. Theys ain't free, still considered like dirt. Chattle least they have value. 
Thom this, may never end without tearing this country apart. All I know ta keep my love safe, I needs ta own her. Lan sakes such fucked up world.

Not much else happened taday, lead terrible borin life I do. Late best put this down.

                          2, July 1859

Almost a year gone by, since I started this dairy. My the time marched on. Who'd a thought, what has happened. Chasin down slaves ownin a slave, fallin in love with a slave.  Ma gettin beat on twice cause of me. Death of a child, killed more people than thought I'd ever kill.

Went ta Virginia, Louisville hell never thought I leave or get farther than Maysville. Poppy from Georgia, Ma from Virginia, guess I am the only true Kentucky person in the family. Want ta make the Old Place my home. Make it a place fer a family. Place people want ta visit.

Grace an Tully die, I take responsibility fer that. They was friends almost like family. Hell guess in away they was family. Ma Bowman is evil, never seen a good thin in her. I see they wants across that river. The Slaves, think they is freedom that side. I see no true freedom, just part freedom. Maybe in Canada they is real freedom. Not really sure.

                        4, July 1859

Mister Bowman hads a party, my was truly fun. Roast pig more food than any one could ever eat.
He had two kegs of beer. What a made it even better if Betsy was with me. We both thought it best fer her ta be with the other blacks. Ya know the slaves. So as not ta, make problems. Don't need people gettin any ideas in they head. Although think a few may have them already.

Theo came back, said he needed a few days ta think on VMI. We sat down by the river fishin.
My it a been nice ta have Tully with us. Theo still ain't doin well in math. Told him ta just think it over. Not ta give up on his dream of bein an Officer. He said I don't get the math, I can't be an Engineer. I say find someone ta help ya. Has ta be someone that can.

Theo smiled some, can't quit he said don't want ta come back here run the Plantation. This place goes against my thoughts. We fished an talked about two hours. Just like before we grew up, my who would of thought. Left fer home about eleven or so. Full from the food an beer, Betsy rested her hand on my leg an smiled at me. She hummed and sang on the way back.

                           7, July 1859

Thursday, got a little rain. Just enough ta wet the corn some. Fields look green, had a fresh smell of rain. Betsy finally got ta normal again. Least ways more than cuddlin. Maybe she'll be with child again soon. That's what I am hopin.

Mister Bowman, asked me ta keep him informed as ta how Theo is doin. Told him I would try, maybe he should put effort towards Theo. Try an put thins right. Lan sakes him bein a Lawyer an all, think he'd have more sense than a mule.

Went ta Ripley, Joe is doin good. Told him about the Sheriff, askin a lot of questions. Joe didn't act worried nor scared. He say just let it go, he don't have a thin on anyone. Suppose he is right, would of arrested me ifin he did. Had a Lager an sausage.
Left Betsy ta do some shoppin needs a few dry goods. Ma is with her.

Poppy told me, he thinkin he is bein followed. Him an Ma best stay out at the Old Place. Somethin doesn't feel right he say, think one of those we killed Family maybe a watchin. Poppy don't gets that way, somethin must be up. Lan sakes don't need no feud at all. Stayed up most the night a watchin.

                               10, July 1859

Sunday, Betsy didn't go ta Church. Poppy thought it best we stay put. I figured the same, why make a target of ease. Ma an Betsy fixed sausage an eggs fer supper had a few pinto beans with it. Besides waitin, ta see ifin we do have trouble brewin. We spent the day outside, doin a few thins around the farm. Tendin the garden, Betsy an Ma made some butter. Me an Poppy checked over the roof of the barn. Not much else happened. Think I best try an sleep.

                                10, July 1859

Poppy had ta go in ta work. Ma is here an sewing on a new shirt fer Poppy. Betsy doin laundry out the back the house. Don't think they be a problem taday, Slaves are here weedin and waterin the crops. Checkin fer worms an bugs. Although did feel like I was bein watched, think that just my mind playin tricks is all.

Mister Bowman sent an extra overseer, ta help with the watch. Had him stay at the house. I rode out ta the hill side ta the main road. Found place just out my sight. Grass was flattened out, few hoof  tracks and foot. Not sure, could of been someone just takin a break. Could been anyone even the Sheriff, watchin. Looks like only one person and his horse.

Told Poppy about what I found, he say ride ta Dover. Check around see they anyone new in town. Couple new people in town, from Virginia.
They stayin out the Boardin house. Miss Amber's place. Jim at the Saloon say they looked mean.
Told Poppy about it, he say he look inta more in the mornin. He is makin a delivery of lumber in the mornin. Gettin late, think I best get some sleep.