broken-hearted

T w e l v e

/song bossa no sé, idk seemed like it fit this story/

I stared at the wall of my bathroom, what the fuck am I doing with my life anymore? I do the same things everyday. It's just so boring. I do the same routine, mourn over my breakup that happen three fucking years ago. And then do my job, which is probably the highlight of my day. I should get genius world record for how long I've been in love with my ex.

I just want to be over him, I want to hate him but I could never hate him. The memories of him and I will always be with me, they make me smile but break my heart at the same time, most people get rid of anything their ex gave them, burn it, despise the name of that person, despise the person in general but how could I hate him, he was my happily ever after, why would I let that go.

By the time I was back, my shit was over, I was just sitting there on my toilet. I whipped and did what ever the fuck and walked out the bathroom. I need some air. I walked outside, looking around, I forgot it's 3:59 am. Yay. Love this for me. I sat on the bench that stayed on my balcony, waiting to be used. I just stared. For what felt like ages. The stars would shin bright in the night sky, it was a full moon tonight. My phone vibrated from where it was on the bench and I looked down... Jaren? These past few weeks have been insane.

Jaren: hey John.
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Me:; hell0?

Jaren: you down to dick me down again?
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my face heated up at the message, how do I respond? Do I say yes? Do I say no? What do I do, I mean I was feeling horny and now I can get rid of it, not only that but I get to fuck him. Sounds okay. Fml

m;: yeah I'm down what time?

Jaren, come to my hotel 😘 *adress line*
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m;: okay

What am I getting myself into, all to hold him under my arms again.