My Confused Heart ♡

A Dream to Come True

  I knocked three short knocks at the front door and walked in. It became cutomary for each one of us at home to knock like this as we enter home, so that my mother knows it's only us entering and not a stranger.

  "Assalaamu'alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh", I said rather in a normal tone despite being so tired. I took off my black shoes in its place and climbed up the stairs. Not having heard any replies to my salaam, I went straight to my mom's room.  I knocked the same three short knocks and pushed the door open.

"Hi mom! Assalaamu'alaykum". Lying on her bed, my mom replied. I asked where are the others and she replied that my dad had to go see an emergency job at this hour of the night, that my brother, Nadir was gone to the same program as me at the masjid and hasn't yet returned. Then she added that my sister, Shaista, should be in her room studying for her finals.

  I told her I'll tell her about the bayaan from the masjid tomorrow and headed to my room. As I pushed the door closed, I spoke the same words I say every night to her: "Please wake me up for fajr, k! Good night. Assalaamu'alaykum."

As I removed my hijaab and changed into pjs, I heard my mother replying my salaam from afar. I dusted my bed thrice like how the prophet Muhammad sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam taught us to as my mind drifted to the talk tonight. I unmindfully plugged my phone and heard the buzz as messages come in. Must be Sum (Sumayyah), my bestie. I'll check in the morning.

I hopped into bed as I pondered over the Mawlanaa's words: "Allaah says in the Qur'aan: Your wives are a garment for you and you are a garment for them. Husbands and wives are like garments to each other. Like clothes, they protect each other... Like clothes, they hide each other's faults...Allaah has created us all in pairs!...". The words seemed faint as I fell asleep.

  I started dreaming of a wedding hall. As I explored the huge place and its lovely golden decorations, I noticed the many people. Lots of familiar faces. I saw Shaista dressed in a matching maroon as the other bridesmaids and from a window I saw Nadir, handsome in a cream thawb outside. I was wondering whose wedding it must be when my alarm interrupted my dream.

  As I made wudhu to perform my fajr, the laughter and good ambiance of the hall played on my mind. I felt giddy thinking of weddings and marriages. As I walked down the corridor to my room,  I thought of how I always wanted to start my life with my soul mate at the age of 19. With him walking on my side on this journey of life, I wanted to bear him children and be living my life. I wondered about these girls who are 27, 28 and still say they claim to be still too young to get married. Ya Allaah!  When will they start their lives?! Life in this world is so short.  I myself am already 21 and with a degree already, wish I had already embarked on my journey.

  I knocked lightly at my mom's door to wake her up for fajr and called out to her absent mindedly. I stood infront of my musalla and shook my head to clear my thoughts of marriage and bring my attention to Allaah as I offered my Fajr.